The Divorce, He Denied.

Kathryn's Pov

Kathryn Morris, the name I was used to and was known till the time I turned 18, there wasn't a single second of my life when people actually considered me as just Kathryn, before I turned the age of 18, I was sheltered in the shadows of my foster parents who kept me hidden like a cherished treasure, sometimes even I got terrified by naivety and innocence I held within myself having no idea of what the demons of the outside looked like until I reached the age of consent which kind of translates as age of marriage in my family. And after walking away from the shadows of known as the eldest daughter of Morris family I became.

Kathryn Karl Salazar, just a wife of Karl Salazar, the infamous royalty of the country, people only knew him with good words, he had opened many ngo's and even donated hefty amount every month to different orphanages and old houses. Karl was even selected as the best candidate to fight for the seat of mayor and indeed he became the ruler of his city not letting anyone get whiff of how his power was spread all over the country as well.

Even I naively accepted that he was indeed a good man and I would be happy with him until I actually became Mrs. Karl Salazar, I was only 18 when we got engaged and within a few months we got married. And again I walked from the shadows of Dean Morris right in the control of Karl Salazar, I was just his wife. A beautiful trophy wife of mayor of the city and ruler of the country.

I never had any identity of my own, first a daughter and then the wife of a royalty that's it. It was the only identity I seemed to be left with but that wasn't the end of my naivety. I accepted, I foolishly and blindly accepted everything thinking that it was how the marriage life goes on. I played the role of a dutiful wife cooking and making sure the house was well maintained while my husband would be out working.

Karl wasn't a bad husband but he wasn't good as well, maybe he wasn't bad in a sense, he never raised his hand on me, never verbally abused me or tried to make me feel any less than him. But was it enough to be a good husband, no it wasn't and I realised it too late, maybe way too late than I should have. He never was here for me, he never was attentive to anything I wanted or wished for, my every night went waiting for him, my words went unheard each time I tried to voice out my little wishes. And finally I accepted that karl Salazar was everything but,

He wasn't a good husband.

2 years of dry marriage, I was indeed in denial for over a year when I started realizing this wasn't how a marriage life should be. I kept on putting myself in delusional that I should understand him, I should always be the one to compromise and always try to make a way for him easier to pursue whatever he was trying to achieve outside until this burden of a marriage started getting so heavy on me that I became tired.

I was tired of giving and just giving without getting anything in return. I gave him my everything, my body, my soul, my heart and even the blind trust hoping for him to come around one day, to appreciate my efforts and actually be at my aid for once like I had always been there for him. I remember taking onto his anger when he lost a tendor, I remember making every comforting soup in the world to cure his fever and sore throat within two days so he could attend his important seminar the third day and I also remember the time I had to stay awake late nights so I could make sure he would have his dinner before going to bed.

I gave my everything to him, even at his minimum words and effort I let him claim my heart, I vowed my heart and love to him the moment he became my husband, my nights were his, my days went thinking about the ways to make his stay in the mansion peaceful and the sole purpose of my life became just to serve him, satisfy him and get his appreciation.

Him, him and just him.

Where was I in this? When did I ever think about myself? When did I ever try to do something for myself? Don't know or maybe there was never a single second I actually think about myself. My life before marriage revolved around satisfying my foster parents who never were proud of me no matter how many sacrifices I made in my life for them. Even the marriage with Karl was to make them satisfy which actually worked and after marriage, my life revolved around winning my husband over, making his life easier and to prove how dutiful and good wife I was to him. 

There was nothing I ever did was for myself, never cooked my favourite dish, oh well I don't even know what my favourite dish was. Never wore the comfortable clothes I once found in the store and had to endure my parents terrible scolding for not dressing up like a lady. I never had anything or did which I like, I wish I could but I knew better than to wish that.

I always wished having a candle light dinner with my husband and I foolishly arranged it as well only for Karl to call me and telling me that he couldn't make it because of his urgent meeting and he would be back after two days. I also remember the whole night I cried while cutting the cake, eating the dinner alone and wishing for my husband to prioritise me once, just once but he never did.

Just when I started getting so tired that I thought my mind would give up and I will eventually fall in the pit of depression I got a news, a joyful news I had been fighting and praying to get for over a year now. I still remember how each time, I would anticipate the symptoms and think it was finally the time, I ended up disappointed and it wasn't just mine even Karl seemed upset with the consecutive negative tests until,

I finally got pregnant. 

The day was the happiest day of my life, not so surprisingly I got to tell Karl about the news after three days of not be able to contact him. That was the first time he actually kept everything aside and flew back home to confirm that the news was true. He brought the doctor with him and made sure that it was true.

Many would think I will start deluding myself that this time Karl would come around and would start giving me attention because of the child but I didn't. I have learned my lesson and I knew for him, his business and hard work for years mattered more than anything even the child. This child was only the symbol of him having an heir, he didn't have the intense love and affection I had grown for this child.

His routine and distant behaviour didn't change, he remained the same. The same old indifferent cold and emotionless Karl like he always had been. But I changed, I withdrew my life away from my husband and kept it revolve around my child. I have waited and prayed for this child for over a year and finally my prayers were heard, I will finally have someone to love with my whole being and maybe finally I will have someone who would love me the same way.

I did feel the emptiness of not having their father with me sometimes, but eventually I got used to aiding myself and fulfilling whatever I needed by myself. Karl seemed to notice my distant behaviour and just when the second trimester started, he started visiting the mansion more often saying that he wanted to make sure I was alright even though I knew better than that. He finally became the sheriff once again and won the seat of staying as his company's CEO for the next ten years.

He had a little time in his hands now to spare to us, and I was indeed right. The moment the work increased he started disappearing for days not showing himself not even when I called him to accompany me to the doctor's visit. And after three times he refused making excuses I stopped asking him, I was tired of trying to get something I knew I wouldn't get until he would be willing to give.

Everything was alright, I gave my whole attention and love to our son. Yes, the doctor told me we were having a baby boy and I didn't even get a chance to share with him or maybe I didn't find it important to do so. I let my attention to stuck on my son until one day, it seemed like my new found peace wasn't digested by my husband and he sent someone. 

His cousin and her friend, Anya and Every. Anya was Karl's first cousin, his late father's sister's daughter. She was arrogant and never really liked me, not just her but he also gave her a permission to bring her friend with her, the friend who openly showed interest in karl when he visited Anya's House after marriage. He simply discarded my displeasure and told me, he never cared about her or what she wanted and I also accepted it until that day.

Was he really not interested? If he wasn't why would he let his cousin bring the woman who obviously had feelings for him to stay right with his pregnant wife? What was he even trying to do? Was he showcasing his dominance by indirectly telling me that it was his house and he could bring anyone here? Even the woman who was too eager to take my place or maybe already had became his mistress, who knows after all he had stayed out many times.

I didn't fret over it much and only asked him once that I wasn't feeling safe around Every and he simply laughed my worries away telling me I was thinking too much and as the head of the house he had the sole authority to decide who will stay at the mansion and who wouldn't. Another hit at my heart cracking the barrier of love that been build around it for him.

I wasn't sure how many more hit would have left for my heart to completely abandon his love and block every affection that might come from him in the future which I highly doubt. I trusted him, once again and I didn't know it would be the last time I would be doing so. Because I indeed was right when I suspected her. And he was wrong but it wasn't entirely his fault.

It was mine, I shouldn't have trusted him, I should have been a little brave for my son, I should have listened to my guts and I should never had stayed in the house I didn't have the authority over even as the owner's wife.

I should have left, but I didn't. Realization came too late. Indeed it was my fault.

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