When I Sank Into the Deep Sea

It was eleven at night by the time I returned to the dorm.

The painkiller injections in my shoulder were gradually wearing off.

Waves of pain surged through me.

The team doctor, Dr. Alaric Kensington, had warned me that I needed immediate hospitalization after the competition. Otherwise, I risked suffering permanent damage.

My phone vibrated.

I looked down.

It was a text from Cassian.

“Stop throwing a tantrum.

“Get some rest early.”

Just those few words, yet they made me want to laugh.

It had been three years, and it was always like this.

Regardless of whether I was the one wronged, I was always the one expected to be sensible.

I was about to lock my screen when a message popped up in the team group chat.

Seren had posted a photo.

In the picture, she held her gold medal, smiling brilliantly.

Standing right beside her was Cassian.

The caption read: “Thanking the most important person for always being by my side.”

The group chat instantly exploded with chatter.

“Congratulations, Seren!”

“World tournament champion in the making!”

“Judge Cassian deserves the credit!”

I stared at the picture for a long time, unable to say a word.

Suddenly, I recalled a similar late night six months ago.

That was the first time my shoulder injury flared up.

After practice that day, I couldn’t even lift my right arm.

Dr. Kensington advised going to the hospital immediately.

Unwilling to miss training, I pushed through until midnight.

In the end, the pain woke me up in the middle of the night.

Cold sweat soaked a large patch of my pillow.

That was the first time pain truly terrified me.

It was also the first time I actively reached out to Cassian for help.

I called him, but he never picked up.

I curled on the bed, clutching my shoulder and waiting the entire night.

I waited until dawn.

Only then did Cassian reply to my message.

“I was at the hospital with Seren last night.

“Didn’t see your call.”

Later, I found out that Seren had fallen during practice and scraped a bit of skin off her knee.

Cassian had stayed with her all night.

Meanwhile, I was in my dorm, suffering through a dislocated shoulder alone until morning.

My phone vibrated again.

Someone messaged the group.

“Judge Cassian is buying us dinner to celebrate!”

“Team dinner tonight!”

Below it, someone tagged me.

“Isn’t Elowen coming?”

I stared at the screen, leaving it unanswered for a long time.

I had suddenly realized that Cassian had invited everyone, except me.

The group chat kept flashing with new updates.

It was a video of everyone egging Cassian and Seren on to link arms and drink a toast.

In the video, Seren’s cheeks flushed red, and she looked down with a shy smile.

Cassian sat beside her without pulling away.

He raised his glass, wrapped his arm around hers, and drank it all.

The message tagging me was quickly buried.

Nobody cared about my answer.

Later that night, Cassian posted an update on his personal social feed.

“Congratulations to my little girl on winning the championship. So happy to witness your growth.”

He attached two photos.

One was from the podium, showing Seren in first place and me in second.

Seren looked proud and triumphant in the photo, while I was caught mid-blink with my eyes shut.

The other photo was a snapshot of him and Seren.

Seren held her trophy, leaning affectionately into his chest, while Cassian naturally wrapped his arm around her.

A long line of mutual friends had liked the post.

I turned off the screen and lay back down on the bed.

I slowly closed my eyes.

My shoulder throbbed intensely.

Yet, my heart hurt far worse than my shoulder.