CHAPTER 4 ~ A DEAL WITH THE PAST

LYRA'S POV 

I haven’t slept properly since the day I saw him walk out of that restaurant without a single word. Not an apology, not a goodbye, not even a damn glance back.

Caspian Clarence, or as I knew him, Mason Fabian had looked me dead in the eye and seen a stranger.

I knew he was avoiding me and now the whole of New York knows something is wrong when Caspian didn't show up to his own press event two nights ago. I had gone to his company every day since the first time we spoke at the parking lot, waited in the same sterile lobby, beside the same polite receptionist who now avoided my eyes but today, the fourth day, is different.

The receptionist had just gotten off a call, her attention snapped to the monitor in front of her, shoulders tense, clearly distracted by something. That was my opening.

Clutching my bag tightly, I slipped past the security gate. My heels clicked with purpose as I made my way toward the elevator, my heart pounding louder with each floor.

I didn’t expect to find him there, I thought maybe he was avoiding me or he has simply vanished like he did from Manchester but there he was.

Inside the glass-walled corner office, framed by the Manhattan skyline, stood Caspian Clarence and beside him, was Charles, his best friend and only reason I haven’t completely lost it.

I didn’t knock, I pushed the door open... Both men looked up, Charles was startled, while Caspian’s face hardened.

"What the hell are you doing here?" He snapped, standing up.

"I came to ask why you have been hiding from me." I said, trying to keep my voice low even though everything inside me screamed.

Charles glanced between us. "Maybe we should..."

"No." I said, holding Caspian’s gaze. "I’m talking to him."

Caspian rounded his desk. "I thought I made myself clear, Miss Logan. I don’t want to be involved in whatever this... delusion is. I’m not Mason, I don’t know you and I don’t want to know you or anything about Manchester."

My heart cracked again, sharp and bitter. "Why are you so afraid of the truth?" I whispered.

"I’m not afraid, I’m just tired." He said. "Tired of being stalked, manipulated. You show up with photos and sub stories and expect me to believe that my life is a lie? No. Have you even considered that we might be twins and Mason is different? Because as far as I know, my memories are intact and you definitely have the wrong guy."

"I know that this is a lot and it's scary but don't be ridiculous, you are not a twin. I know you very well Mason, you are my fiancé. Okay, do you have a scar on your left knee or not?" I asked but from his body language, I can already tell that I am right.

"I don't care if you are right or not, just leave."

I have suffered for a year, looking for him and waiting for him to show up but he never did and now that I have found him, I won't go without giving it my best.

"I came to give you a choice," I said, breathing through the ache. "One year, that’s all I’m asking for."

He blinked, obviously confused. "What?"

I opened my bag and slowly took out a small bottle, it's label faded but unmistakable.

Charles’s eyes widened. "Lyra..."

"Arsenic," I said quietly. "And don’t worry, I’ve done my research, it's lethal enough and quick."

Caspian took a cautious step toward me. "Put that down."

"Not until you listen, not until you say yes."

"This is insane." He muttered.

"You want me gone? You want this over? Then marry me, for one year. Just one, come with me to Manchester. Let me show you who you were, let me prove to you that we were and still are my everything."

He laughed bitterly. "You want a contract marriage? Are you hearing yourself?"

"Yes," I snapped. "Because I'm desperate, because I have nothing left but this crazy belief that you are still in there somewhere and if I'm wrong, if after one year you still don't remember anything, I will disappear from your life forever. I will never show my face to you again."

He looked at the bottle. "And if I say no?"

"Then I drink this, right here, right now. In your office, you can call it drama, you can call it mental illness, but you will remember me after that, even if just as the woman who died in front of you."

Silence fell as Charles looked torn between calling security and collapsing in a heap but Caspian... Caspian looked at me, not with disgust, not with pity but with confusion, conflict... Maybe even fear.

"You think this will fix something?" He asked tentatively.

"No, I think it will give us a chance and that’s all I want." A chance to prove to him that he is indeed my Mason and not his twin, a chance to remind him of how much he loves me, a chance for him to get his memory back, a chance to show him the amazing life we shared and a chance to make him fall in love with me again and this time, the love will last forever.

He rubbed his jaw, eyes flicking to the bottle, then back to me. "You are not stable." He stated like he just realized it.

Of course, I am not stable. I haven't been stable since he left for a work trip a year ago and never returned. I lost my stability from the moment I started sleeping alone and waking up to an empty bed. I lost my stability when I no longer hear his voice, listen to his laughter and watch him smile... I lost my stability when I couldn't go out every Tuesday's for meat pie with him anymore, when I stopped getting flowers every Friday, but I completely lost my stability and sanity when he couldn't recognize me after a year of seeing him again.

"I’m broken, desperate even." I said. "But I’m not lying and deep down, I think you know that. You can feel it, you just don’t want to accept it and I understand why you are in denial but if you give me a chance, I will remind you that you don't want a life without me in it."

He looked at Charles and Charles nodded slightly. "You don’t have to love her, just... try."

He hesitated for way too long and it broke my heart that I will have to drink the arsenic and die here but I either leave here with an agreement, hope and a contract marriage or I leave in an ambulance.

I opened the cover of the small bottle in my hand, prepared to have a sip but then, finally, Caspian sighed.

"One year, that’s all you get. We make a contract, no feelings, no real marriage. Just terms and at the end, if nothing changes, you are gone, for good."

Tears stung my eyes as I nodded eagerly. "Deal."

"One more thing, I am a business man and I have a company to run, so I am not staying with you in Manchester, playing husband. We can go there but for a short period, like a vacation."

"I don't mind, I will move in with you but we will have to travel frequently, because your life is over there in Manchester." I clarified.

"Fine, Charles and I will draft the contract, I want everything in writing. You can leave now, come back tomorrow to sign the documents."

It's crazy that I will have to sign a marriage contract just to be with Mason again but if that's what it takes then I will do it. "Thanks for agreeing to this, I promise that it will be worth it at the end."

I took another look at him just to make sure that he isn't just saying all this to get me out of his office but he looks sincere. I reluctantly put the bottle back into my back. "See you tomorrow." I said and he nodded just before I stepped out of his office and let out a breath that I didn't even realize I was holding.