Chapter 3 The Child I Remembered

After a long silence, Nathan finally spoke. "Joslyn, I'll be right back."

I smiled faintly. "Nathan, is that the only line you know?"

His expression stiffened, but he left anyway.

…

Once he was gone, Livia sat next to my bed and poured broth from the thermos into a bowl.

"Joslyn, I know you're hurt, but you've known Nathan for ten years and been married to him for five. You know him better than anyone."

She handed me the bowl and continued, "He truly loves you. Rosie's been through a lot, and Nathan has always felt responsible for taking care of her."

I stared at the thin layer of oil floating on the broth's surface. "So, because she's had a difficult life, I deserve this?"

Livia's hand froze, and her expression immediately hardened. "How can you say something like that?"

I gave her a calm smile. "Maybe losing my memory made my temper worse too."

She had nothing to say to that.

…

I barely slept that night. When exhaustion finally overtook me, I dreamed about events from three years ago.

In my dream, I was sprinting barefoot along a hospital corridor, my dress soaked in blood.

A small child was ahead of me, but no matter how quickly I ran, I could not catch up to him. His face was not clearly visible. He just stood at the end of the corridor and softly called, "Mommy…"

Pain ripped through my chest as I reached for him.

Just as my fingertips were about to brush his sleeve, Nathan's voice echoed down the hallway. "Rosie needs me more right now. I'll be right back."

Suddenly, the walls around me started to crumble.

Darkness gradually engulfed the child as I lunged forward, shouting his name. When I finally reached out, all I got was a handful of cold blood.

"No!"

I jolted awake with a gasp. My heart pounded against my ribs, and my back was drenched in sweat.

The dim bedside lamp illuminated the room, and Nathan sat beside me, appearing to have been there for quite a while based on his look.

When I opened my eyes, he leaned in and grasped my hand. "Joslyn, what's wrong? Are you in pain?"

I looked at him, and before I could stop myself, tears slid down my cheeks.

The dream vividly replayed events from three years ago, bringing back sharp memories. I recalled every drop of blood, every surge of pain, and the doctor's words once it had all concluded that we could not save the baby.

"I dreamed about a child," I mentioned.

Nathan went completely still.

I looked at him as though I were confused and afraid of his answer. "Nathan… Was I ever pregnant?"

Silence filled the room.

He did not respond immediately, but his shock was obvious. The colour had already drained from his face.

I swallowed hard. "What happened to my baby?"

Nathan slowly lowered his gaze, and his fingers tightened around mine. "We lost the baby."

I had known the answer all along, but hearing him voice it out loud still felt like someone had reached into my chest and torn open a wound that never completely healed.

I asked, "Why?"

Nathan stayed silent for a long moment before finally saying, "That night, you experienced severe cramps, and I didn't go to the hospital with you."

I stared at him. "Where did you go?"

His throat tightened. "Something happened to Rosie at a party."

That one sentence tore open the wound I had tried so hard to bury. The words echoed in my mind, exactly as they had in the dream.

'Rosie needs me more right now.'

Three years earlier, he had chosen her during my pregnancy and bleeding. At the cliff, he chose her once more.

I closed my eyes for a moment before looking back at him. "So, you left your pregnant wife alone because of her."

"No!" Nathan's eyes reddened as he shook his head. "I didn't know it was that serious. I had the driver take you to the hospital. I thought there was still time—"

I cut in, "But the baby didn't have time."

Nathan fell silent.

I pulled my hand from his and turned toward the window. "Get out. I don't want to see you."

He didn't leave.

After a long silence, I heard his voice behind me, low and broken. "Joslyn… I'm sorry."