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Chapter Nine: The first kiss
Last Updated:
2025-04-09 08:41:05
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When loving you meant losing me Chapter Ten: Two hearts, one beat
I swing open the bath room door and stepped back into the room—I froze.My eyes shot wide. I spun around so fast I nearly tripped. Heat creeping up my neck—my cheeks flushed.He stood there, one brow lifted, lips curled in a smug smile. He didn’t flinch. He stood like a goddamn statue—perfectly carved .Jayden chuckled behind me..."There's nothing new to see here" he drawl. His voice thick with amusement."Put something one" I hissed, dragging in a shaky breathe—my eyes glued to the wall. His footsteps paded across the room. Then warm hands landed on my shoulder—turning me around gently.Before I could protest, he guided me to sit on the bed and nudged a take out box towards me."Not now, you need to eat" he said softly.The scent hit me—Chicken and chips. My stomach growled. I could not wait—I tore the package open and stuffed chips into my mouth like I hadn’t just been naked in front of him.I glanced up—and froze. My breath hitched. I was still naked. My arms wrapped around my c
Last Updated : 2025-04-12When loving you meant losing me Chapter Eleven: The Unexpected
The drive back home stretched longer than expected—every minute dragged out longer than the last. I stared out of the window, the city passing by in a blur, memories of our time together flooded my mind.He had told me to wear his shirt back home—he loved how it looked on me. I listened without protesting. When the Uber he ordered arrived, I didn't want to go back home but I had to leave—his cousin was returning home soon.Jayden’s shirt clung to my body, it was a reminder of what we’d shared. But it was more than just a piece of clothing to me—it felt safe.I slumped against the car seat—staring out the window absent-minded. The faint scent of his cologne lingered in the air, warm and familiar, clinging to the shirt like it was taunting me. Every time the wind brushed against my skin, it felt like his touch again—soft, lingering.I step into the building, my eyes scanning the building. I hesitated in the hallway, steps slowing as I glanced around. If Ava saw me like this, she would
Last Updated : 2025-04-13When loving you meant losing me Chapter Twelve: My reality
"Mom..." I yelled. "He's here," she said quickly. Then I heard it—my dad’s voice. An uncontrollable wail burst out of my mouth, loud and messy. "Shh, I’m fine, my daughter." "Can you hear my voice?" he added, his tone light, almost playful, like nothing had happened. But I couldn’t calm down. My vision blurred again. My thoughts spiraled. What if he broke an arm? A leg? What if something was torn or fractured and they were lying to me just to keep me from panicking? My mind wouldn’t stop. I was sobbing so hard my lungs ached. Ava stood beside me, gently rubbing my shoulder. She leaned in to eavesdrop on the conversation, her eyes starting to tear up. “Dad, where are you?... Just go to the hospital,” I begged, sniffling. “I’m fine, honey. I don’t have a single scratch,” he said. His tone sharper than I expected. That was so like him. Mr. Tate—always insisting he was fine. Always brushing things off, even when they were clearly serious. He would do what ever he wanted t
Last Updated : 2025-04-13When loving you meant losing me Chapter Thirteen: All I needed
The morning sun filtered through the curtains softly—but it didn’t warm me. My body moved lazily, but my heart was in a mess.The weight of what happened yesterday still beared down on me. I dragged myself out of bed, changed into something decent, and grabbed my bag and file. Outside, the world continued like nothing had happened but I felt like I was still in a void—an emotional wreck. Classes had already started rounding up because of the exams. I sprint towards my department to catch up with submission of assignment. My head throbbed. My mind wandered. I had other assignments to submit, presentation to prepare for, and—of course—my final research paper to finalize. It seemed like my world was coming to an end. My phone which was my only support to type was going bad and really fast. After class, I went straight to my supervisor’s office. The paper was already a patchwork of sleepless nights and last-minute edits. I had made over a thousand corrections since the semester began
Last Updated : 2025-04-14When loving you meant losing me Chapter Fourteen: The Edge of Burnout
School work became hectic. By Tuesday, I already felt like I’d run a marathon blindfolded—with no finish line in sight. School felt like a punishment–an academic war zone. Every lecturer had ditched all assessment for full blown term paper. I’d written so much, my wrists felt like rusted joints, grinding with every word I typed. Three papers down—one more to go. I’d spent the entire morning squinting at my phone screen. Editing. Proof reading with heavy eye bags and a racing clock. When I finally glanced at my watch—9:00 a.m. sharp—I panicked. I slung my bag over my shoulder and bolted out. My eyes stung from the sleep I never got. My morning routine—I went through it like Flash. I was in and out of the shower so fast. It was like the water barely touched my skin. I was running up and down the house—half-dressed. Exhausted. Back aching. The café buzzed with noise—low conversations, rustling papers, and the endless beep of printers. I managed to squeeze into a corner seat, hunched ov
Last Updated : 2025-04-17When loving you meant losing me Chapter Fifteen: No place to hide
Jayden was within eyeshot, pacing up and down the block. His brows were furrowed in concentration, his phone glued to his hand. He was having a hard time transferring last batch of result transfers from his old department. He’d told me before about the whole drama—how he switched his major from physics after nearly losing his mind, how he did it without telling his father, and how that had spiraled into one of their worst fights. He eventually moved out of the house. Jayden was headstrong—he always did what he believed in, even when it hurt. Except with me. I was his soft spot, his exception— I suppose. Bianca and I sat on the stairs, laughing about something silly. I hadn’t told her Jayden and I were dating yet, but judging by the look she gave me whenever his name popped up on my screen, I could tell she had already put two and two together. Bianca was observant but respectful—never asked more than I was ready to give. We chatted about school, the pressure, and our different
Last Updated : 2025-04-18When loving you meant losing me Chapter Sixteen: Soft Lies, Hard Truths
"He is my friend," I breathed, my eyes tightly shut. The lie tasted bitter on my tongue. I hated saying it, but I didn’t want to hurt his feelings. We were all in the same college, just different majors. Running into each other was inevitable, and the last thing I wanted was tension or drama between the two of them—my past and present can not collide. Jake was the bane of my existence. We met during my first year. I remember sitting alone, struggling with a biology assignment—trying and failing to sketch the internal organs. That was when he walked over, confident and easy, offering to help. I declined, stubborn. But he didn’t leave. Natalie, Alice, and I met him at the same time. We were inseparable back then—the three musketeers. Somehow, Jake slipped into our trio like he belonged there, and from that day, we became friends. At least that’s how it started. I spent more and more time with him—during classes, after school, and eventually at his place. I didn’t plan to fall, but I
Last Updated : 2025-04-22When loving you meant losing me Chapter Seventeen: The Ones We Shouldn't Miss
I woke up to a message about a practical class. It had been scheduled earlier, but I’d completely forgotten. My chest tightened. I wanted to crash back into bed. It was a week before exams and everything felt like a blur. I needed time—to study, to breathe, to think.I called Jayden. He said he’d seen the schedule and would be in school.Dragging myself to the wardrobe, I shoved fabrics aside like they were obstacles in my way, searching frantically for my lab coat. I found it—crumpled in the laundry basket, smelling like sweat. I held it up, stared at it, then sighed. I didn’t even hesitate. I opened my sister’s side. She had two. One was clean.Relief washed over me.I tossed it into my bag, then rummaged through my bookshelf, scooping up notes, extra papers, and a pencil. My stomach growled. There was no way I was facing a practical class on an empty stomach. I had leftover sauce. I parboiled spaghetti and ate quickly, checking the time every two minutes like it might disappear.By
Last Updated : 2025-04-24
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When loving you meant losing me Chapter Thirty-One: Protecting The Peace
The morning dragged. Maybe it was just me. I couldn’t shake the weird weight in my chest, even though nothing had actually happened. Jayden was still here, still smiling, still soft when he looked at me. He had just said it casually over breakfast: “We should go to your place today.”I blinked, halfway through sipping tea. “Why..?”He nodded, brushing crumbs off his shirt. “Yeah. It’s better than staying cooped up here all week.”What he really meant was: he didn’t have enough money to stock up the house. I already knew. His tone was breezy, but there was a tiny thread of tension in the way he avoided my eyes.“I could transfer something small,” I said. “Just enough for transport and groceries.”He hesitated, then smiled and kissed my forehead. “Okay baby...You’re the best.” Jayden had been nothing but lovely and if he eeded a little support—I would give my all.I paid our way to my sister’s apartment. Jayden carried the light bags—some canned veggies, pasta, and sauce. He made a com
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Thirty: The First Drop Of Rain
I kept glancing at the door like it might open if I stared long enough. At some point, I must’ve drifted off.I didn’t hear him come in—I just felt the kisses first. Light ones on my cheek, then a soft brush on my eyelids. My lashes fluttered open and there he was, kneeling beside me like he'd never left. Jayden.The house had gotten too quiet. Maybe that’s why I fell asleep so easily. Silence made everything feel... still. A little empty.“I missed you,” I muttered, sitting up before my brain had fully caught up.“Sorry I’m late, baby... I got you food.” He handed over a paper bag like it was peace offering and not an apology. I didn’t even wait—I was already digging in. Chinese. Noodles and something else I didn’t bother naming. My stomach growled in agreement. I’d been feeling hungry all the time lately, though I couldn’t say why.“Want some?” I looked up mid-bite, offering him a scoop, still chewing.“Nope. I ate at Andrew’s.” He stood, pulling off his sweatshirt, his gaze locked
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Twenty-Nine: The Sweet That Stings
"I'm getting used to this," I mumbled, voice low and laced with sleep, pulling the tray of granola soaked in milk closer. Jayden had been spoiling me since this staycation started—I barely lifted a finger. I was bathed, fed, pampered. No complaints, no sighs. Just him, doing everything like it was second nature.After breakfast, we curled up on the sofa again. Jayden had promised a movie spree, and he wasn't bluffing. We moved from one Netflix series to the next—though most ended up watching us. Half the time, we'd barely get through the opening credits before a kiss turned into a touch, then another, until we were breathless and the screen faded to the closing scene."There's something wrong with us," I laughed, panting, my skin still tingling. I had no idea how many rounds we'd gone or what time it was. I just knew my body kept reaching for him like it couldn't stop."I think we need therapy," he said, his chest rising and falling.His hands brushed over my skin again, and my breath
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Twenty-Eight: Second-Guessing feelings
I woke up to the sound of someone tapping my arm. Not a loud knock—just soft, insistent nudges that pulled me from a fog. The second I opened my eyes, the sunlight rushed in like it had been waiting to blind me. I squinted them shut again, groaning."Wake up, Sleeping Beauty." His voice was a low hum, and then I felt his lips on mine—warm, teasing. I blinked a few times before my eyes adjusted.Jayden turned to the bedside table, lifting a tray with both hands. He set it gently on the bed, then nudged it toward me. The scent hit me before the sight did. Toasted bread. Scrambled eggs. Chocolate drink, still steaming. My stomach made its opinion known before I could. I stared at the tray for a second, still trying to catch up to reality.But something else stirred inside me too—soft and scary. I stared at the tray for a second longer than I should have. Nobody had ever done this for me before. Not like this. Not with quiet hands and zero expectations. Just... thoughtfulness in its rawes
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Twenty-Seven: Lingering Ghost
We had been lying on the same spot for a while, our breathing slowly steadying. I reached for my phone and tapped the screen. 6:30. My bones felt heavy—the sweet kind of heavy. Jayden stood up without a word and held out his hand. I let him pull me along, still quiet, my body still tingling. The bathroom lights were warm and golden, and the air was already damp with rising steam. He turned on the tap, tested the water, then looked back at me with that crooked smile I was starting to get used to. “Come on,” he said gently, like he’d been waiting for this all day. I stepped in with him, the tiled floor cool under my feet. We didn’t say much. He lathered soap in his hands and ran them over my shoulders like it was the most normal thing in the world. It felt... soft. Not rushed. Just us. I didn’t know where to look. This was my first time having someone else bathe me. I fought the urge to cover my chest with both hands—unsure what was allowed in this kind of tenderness. When he was d
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Twenty-Six: His to Claim
The moment I laid eyes on him, my heart felt like it wanted to leap out of my chest and run straight to him. He smiled and waved—everything inside me melted. Warmth spread low in my belly. When I finally reached him, he pulled me into a soft hug. It made everything worse. My whole body felt like a grenade waiting to explode.He took my hand, and we walked together toward the house.By the time we reached the gate, I was stunned. The building towered over anything I’d ever called home—especially my tiny studio. It was a story building with two thick pillars standing guard in front. The compound was neatly German-floored. I immediately fell in love with the place—I imagined kids running around. "Slow down Sharon you haven't graduated." I muttered silently.Inside, the sitting room was something out of a movie. A massive chandelier dangled in the middle of the room, casting soft light across everything. A wide, luxurious sofa stretched out in front of a huge TV—I couldn’t even guess t
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Twenty Five: Roads that lead to him
I closed the door behind me, then stood there for a second, just listening to the quiet. I hadn't even picked a bag I'd use yet. I didn't want the bag too big so he wouldn't think I was moving in—that would be embarrassing. I picked up my tote bag. Placed it on the bed half-open and empty, like it was waiting for me to figure out what I was doing.Honestly, I didn’t even know what to pack. It wasn’t like I was going on a trip. I mean, technically I was, but not really. I wasn’t visiting family or going for a weekend away with friends. I was going to Jayden’s. Just me. Just him.Finally.I sat on the edge of the bed and dragged the bag closer. I’d already tossed in a pair of lounge wear shorts earlier. Soft ones, black, nothing too fancy. Just enough to feel comfortable without looking like I tried too hard. I added a tank top to go with it. Then, after way too much hesitation, one pair of underwear. Just one. I don’t know why. Maybe I thought packing more would feel too… suggestive?
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Twenty Four: Just Another Day
As usual I woke up late and ended up spending the morning with Ava. We literally lived in each others house. We were running round the kitchen fixing a meal. Chatting away while the food almost burned.The kitchen smelled like garlic—and not in a good way.“I think it’s burning,” I leaned over the stove, trying not to choke on the bitter scent.Ava waved the wooden spoon like a weapon. “It’s not burning. It’s toasting.”“That’s literally the same thing.”“Nope. Toasted garlic sounds intentional.” Ava fanned the pan dramatically. “Burnt just makes me sound careless.”I laughed and stepping back, clutching my water bottle. “Okay, Chef. But if we both end up with food poisoning, I’m blaming you.”“You already do,” Ava muttered, tossing the onions in with the sizzling garlic. “Anyway. Let’s talk about what really matters.”“Which is?” I ask raising a brow“Jayden.”“Nope.....you're gonna burn down the kitchen because of juicy gossips."“Yup.”“Nope.”Ava turned with a sly grin. “Why are y
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Twenty-three: A Promise Without Words
Sunlight spilled into the room, and the chatter of a few people outside reached my ears. My phone felt like a weight in my hand as I squinted at the screen. 11:15 AM. I couldn't believe I had slept that long. Stumbling out of bed, I dragged myself to the bathroom. My eyes were barely open, but I mechanically grabbed my toothbrush and squeezed out more toothpaste than necessary. I went through the motions, scrubbing absentmindedly. Once I finished, I groggily stumbled back out, my stomach growling in protest. I was starving.I made my way to the tiny kitchen, opening the cupboard and glancing at the sparse supplies. I hadn't cooked anything yet. Thank god Ava had fed me yesterday. I scratched my head, wondering what I should make. Honestly, I could barely think straight. Pasta, I decided. Simple enough. I threw on the loose tee and shorts I’d worn yesterday, tossing my nightwear into the laundry basket.As I enter the kitchen, I realized I didn’t even have tomato paste. I groaned. I re
