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Chapter Seven: Fluttering hearts
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2025-04-04 06:18:37
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When loving you meant losing me Chapter Thirty-seven: The Unwanted
Cold chills ran down my spine."You let them think that?" My voice was shaky."They laughed at me. I became a thing of mockery.""They told me, 'where did you get her from?' 'she looks like she's for the streets.'" Those words slashed my heart like a knife. I was speechless. My throat tightened as the words echoed in my head. How could they say that? Is that how the prostitutes they picked up behaved? Why was it so hard for people to think—with their brains."I couldn't defend you because of how you acted," he spoke through the phone, casually like he didn’t just tear me open."Look at the way you behaved. You kept saying you wanted to go home."I did want to go home. I felt out of place. Like a guest in a house I was promised was mine too."He's my family. Don't you want to meet my family?" His voice was calm, but I could hear the coldness behind it. That quiet kind of anger that seeps into your skin like bad weather."Look, I was uncomfortable, and you didn’t make a formal introduct
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Thirty-Six: House of Illusion
I slept the morning and afternoon off. My body ached, and my inner thighs burned more than I wanted to admit. Jayden had turned our staycation into a marathon. Every moment, every breath, he was either above me or under me, like he was trying to make a statement. A part of me should've been flattered, but now… now I just felt sore and used.Finally, I was back in my own house, alone, sleeping off the aftermath.Dragging myself out of bed, I made my way to the kitchen. The sink was a mess—plates stacked, pots greasy, bowls crusted over. I had cooked and eaten in silence last night, more from heartbreak than hunger. My chest still felt heavy. My eyes, dry and sore. I picked up the sponge, turned the tap, and let the water rush over my hands, cold and numbing.I stared blankly at the plate under the stream.Was Jayden trying to impress me, or was he just a liar?The thought lingered in my head, bitter and loud. I hated it. I hated that it had kept me up all night. That it still pulsed in
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Thirty-five: Quiet Humiliation
The room was bathed in that late afternoon orange glow. Knock knock. I heard a soft banging on the door. Before I could even mouth come in, Ava pushed it open and stepped in like she owned the place. I sat up on the bed, my head drooping like a dying sunflower. "Why would you get back from a staycation and look like you were hit by a truck?" she asked, raising an eyebrow. "I had no idea you got back. I thought your sister was in." She walked over eyeing me. "Are you exhausted from the constant activities?" She plopped onto the bed beside me, nudging me with her shoulder. A sly, teasing smile stretched across her lips. "Noooo," I groaned, dragging my palms across my face like that would wipe away the shame burning beneath my skin. "You know I told you I went to his house… the one he stays in with his friend Max." "Yes," Ava mouthed with laser focus on my lips, like each word was a breadcrumb to something juicy. "I don’t think it’s a shared apartment," I muttered. Her eyes nar
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Thirty-Four: Unraveled Expectations
I sat there, music playing through my earphones, trying to tune out the noise in my head. My eyes were fixed on the blank wall, but my mind was anything but still. Then I felt a tap on my arm.Jayden.“I want to go home,” I said instantly, before he could even open his mouth.He blinked. “Can you explain what’s happening?”I pursed my lips. My blood started to boil, and I fought the urge to scream.“I thought that was your room?” I hissed, not caring anymore. “Why is he in there, and we’re in a room with no bed?”Jayden’s eyes hardened. “Why are you being so difficult?”I swallowed and looked away, biting down the frustration building in my chest. “Can I just go home?” I said softly. “It’s fine if you don’t come.”I turned around and began gathering my things from the floor—my bag, charger, scarf. My hands trembled slightly. I wasn’t even sure if it was from anger or embarrassment. The walls were thin, and from how clearly I’d heard their voices earlier, I knew they could hear me too.
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Thirty-three: Out of place
I jumped off the couch, stumbling as I reached for my clothes that were scattered in an abandoned pile on the floor. "What’s happening?" I asked, my chest hammering. My eyes were wide, and my body went from tingling with nerves to ready to run.He picked up his clothes, tugging on his shorts in one swift motion. “Max is back,” he breathed, glancing around the sofa to check if it was clean.“I thought he was gone... out of town this week?” I stood there, clothes clutched to my chest, my hair a mess like I had struggled my way out of a bush. My legs were shaking, barely holding me up.“Don’t ask questions. Dress up.” His voice was sharp, dragging me upstairs into a room I hadn’t entered since I got there. I swallowed, realizing there were parts of the house I hadn’t explored. I pulled on my trousers, pausing to look around at the mess on my thighs. I couldn’t even clean up. Great. I tugged at them, barely checking if they were straight, and opened a drawer to find a comb. I breathed ou
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Thirty-Two: Between Touch and Tension
The days blurred into one another. I barely noticed time passing. We fell into a rhythm that felt both comforting and intoxicating—wake up, eat, watch movies, get nasty, sleep, repeat. Being with Jayden felt like a slow, sweet trap. Easy to fall into. Hard to crawl out of. He could be frustrating sometimes, throwing the occasional jab that stung longer than I admitted, but those moments got lost in the sea of pleasure, laughter, and lazy afternoons.By the time Friday rolled around, I realized I’d been wrapped up in his space for nearly a week.We woke up that morning tangled in each other, groggy and warm beneath the covers. I stretched with a yawn and groaned as light slipped through the curtains, dust dancing in the sunbeams.We are breakfast quietly on bed and laid back down after barely clearing the mess. We stayed in bed scrolling through out phones.Jayden rubbed his eyes, then looked over at me with a grin. “Let’s do skincare today,” he said suddenly, as if the idea had just
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Thirty-One: Protecting The Peace
The morning dragged. Maybe it was just me. I couldn’t shake the weird weight in my chest, even though nothing had actually happened. Jayden was still here, still smiling, still soft when he looked at me. He had just said it casually over breakfast: “We should go to your place today.”I blinked, halfway through sipping tea. “Why..?”He nodded, brushing crumbs off his shirt. “Yeah. It’s better than staying cooped up here all week.”What he really meant was: he didn’t have enough money to stock up the house. I already knew. His tone was breezy, but there was a tiny thread of tension in the way he avoided my eyes.“I could transfer something small,” I said. “Just enough for transport and groceries.”He hesitated, then smiled and kissed my forehead. “Okay baby...You’re the best.” Jayden had been nothing but lovely and if he eeded a little support—I would give my all.I paid our way to my sister’s apartment. Jayden carried the light bags—some canned veggies, pasta, and sauce. He made a com
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Thirty: The First Drop Of Rain
I kept glancing at the door like it might open if I stared long enough. At some point, I must’ve drifted off.I didn’t hear him come in—I just felt the kisses first. Light ones on my cheek, then a soft brush on my eyelids. My lashes fluttered open and there he was, kneeling beside me like he'd never left. Jayden.The house had gotten too quiet. Maybe that’s why I fell asleep so easily. Silence made everything feel... still. A little empty.“I missed you,” I muttered, sitting up before my brain had fully caught up.“Sorry I’m late, baby... I got you food.” He handed over a paper bag like it was peace offering and not an apology. I didn’t even wait—I was already digging in. Chinese. Noodles and something else I didn’t bother naming. My stomach growled in agreement. I’d been feeling hungry all the time lately, though I couldn’t say why.“Want some?” I looked up mid-bite, offering him a scoop, still chewing.“Nope. I ate at Andrew’s.” He stood, pulling off his sweatshirt, his gaze locked
When loving you meant losing me Chapter Twenty-Nine: The Sweet That Stings
"I'm getting used to this," I mumbled, voice low and laced with sleep, pulling the tray of granola soaked in milk closer. Jayden had been spoiling me since this staycation started—I barely lifted a finger. I was bathed, fed, pampered. No complaints, no sighs. Just him, doing everything like it was second nature.After breakfast, we curled up on the sofa again. Jayden had promised a movie spree, and he wasn't bluffing. We moved from one Netflix series to the next—though most ended up watching us. Half the time, we'd barely get through the opening credits before a kiss turned into a touch, then another, until we were breathless and the screen faded to the closing scene."There's something wrong with us," I laughed, panting, my skin still tingling. I had no idea how many rounds we'd gone or what time it was. I just knew my body kept reaching for him like it couldn't stop."I think we need therapy," he said, his chest rising and falling.His hands brushed over my skin again, and my breath
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