CHAPTER TWO: GUILT

Damien’s POV.

From a young age, I’d known how my life would turn out. I’d never had the privilege of being anything but perfect: the perfect son, the perfect heir, the perfect husband.

When Sebastian betrayed my father and my engagement with Lilian was dissolved, I was furious. Not because I had been in love with Lilian, but because would have been perfect together. To me, that was all a marriage required--

Compatibility. Understanding.

Not a fleeting emotion people foolishly called love.

So, when I was forced to marry Heaven, I didn’t like it. She was different from the plans I had and I guess that...irritated me.

She was so... ordinary and gullible. She looked at me with those wide eyes as if I was her entire world. She believed every word I said, every promise I made just to keep her happy until the papers were signed.

When I realized she had given me not only her body but her heart--her trust--it infuriated me. Because I didn’t want it. I just wanted a trophy wife.

For three years I ignored her. I buried myself in work, in Lilian, in anything that made me forget that my wife was waiting for me in a cold, empty house.

She begged, she cried, and I hated her for making me feel guilty--for making me feel like a monster. So I built walls higher and higher, convincing myself she didn’t matter.

Until tonight.

I could still feel her warm blood spilling onto my hands as she collapsed.

As I watched her close her eyes, I felt something break inside my chest so violently that I could hardly breathe. She had risked her life for me, despite everything I had done to her.

I had spent years convincing myself she meant nothing. But as I held her bleeding body, begging her to stay, I knew I couldn't let her die.

I’d been in the hospital for hours, but I hadn’t heard any news from the doctors. My family had called several times but I couldn’t bring myself to answer so I could only pace around the waiting room in worry. Minutes stretched to hours until the surgeon finally stepped out, his expression grim.

“How is she?” My voice was raw, unrecognizable even to me.

He hesitated, glancing at his clipboard before meeting my eyes. “Mr. Wiles, your wife lost a lot of blood. The bullet missed her heart by an inch, and the damage is very severe. She’s slipped into a coma and we don’t know how long it’ll take her to wake up.”

The word coma nearly knocked the breath from me. I gripped the wall, forcing myself to stay upright.

“That’s not all,” the doctor continued. “We discovered something during the scans. She’s pregnant.”

The ground shifted beneath me.

Pregnant.

Heaven was carrying my child while I treated her like garbage.

I should’ve known she could have gotten pregnant after that night but I was buzzed out of my fucking mind because of an argument with my dad.

I’d drunk to stupor and then fucked my wife mercilessly. I couldn’t believe what I’d done and I just acted like it never happened.

“She’s about two months along,” the doctor went on. “But with her condition, there’s a high risk of miscarriage. To be honest, it’s a miracle the baby survived the shooting at all. If her vitals worsen, we may not be able to save both--”

“Don’t say it,” I gritted out.

“You’ll save them both. Nothing must happen to Heaven or my baby. Do. You. Understand. Me?”

The doctor paled and nodded quickly before running away.

When he left, I pressed my forehead against the cold wall, fighting the burn of tears.

For years, I had thrown Heaven away like she was nothing. And now, I might lose her forever--along with the child I never knew I wanted so badly.

Who shot at me? Who had set us up?

It isn’t possible for a shooter to break through my security without help meaning I have a mole.

I pulled my phone from my pocket and dialed a number, my brain already flipping through everyone that was present.

“Felix, we have a spy. Get me the names of every single person that was at that charity gala immediately.”

*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*

Hours later, I sat by the edge of Heaven’s bed simply staring at her pale face.

God, she was so beautiful. How did she lose so much weight? I tried not to think of the wires and tubes that were plugged into her body.

This is all my fault.

I glanced at her belly where our baby was. Did she know she was pregnant? Is that why she looked so starved? Did she have a name for the child?

For the first time in years, I let myself wonder about my wife.

I imagined Heaven waking up, her hazel eyes softening when she looked at me--not with the pain and betrayal I had carved into her, but with something new.

Maybe forgiveness. Maybe love again. I would treat her differently this time. I would show her the husband she deserved.

Despite the heaviness of the night, I felt the corner of my mouth almost curve into a smile and a spark of hope bloomed inside me.

Then my phone buzzed on the nightstand as the screen lit up with a name that yanked me back to reality.

Lilian.