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Chapter 8: Piercing gaze

last update 최신 업데이트: 2025-05-03 07:01:48

The first thing that hit me as I stepped into the house was the smell of lilies. So light, so elegant, so familiar. My heart skipped slightly as I stepped further into the foyer. It all seemed to radiate beneath the warm, gentle light. The house was spotless from top to bottom. The air itself seemed lighter, less heavy, than it did when I'd left. Unknowingly, my gaze strayed to the table, to the lily vase which stood resolutely upon it, their petals spreading in sensual delicacy under the soft light. "Mr. Blackwell insisted on us doing all of this, to have everything spotless to welcome you back," One of the workers whispered to me in muted tones, her voice barely on the brink of a whisper. I blinked in surprise. Ethan had arranged all this?

I dragged my bag up to the second floor, half hoping to catch Ethan in his study holed up or perhaps out altogether. But as I flung open the master bedroom door, I was taken aback.

By the bedside table was a little vase of fresh lilies, and beside it, a velvet case. I set down my bag softly, and with shaky fingers, I stepped forward to grab the case. There was a pair of simple diamond studs inside, they were just stunning. My heart skipped.

Why? The voice in my ear, so soft and insistent. Was it an apology, or a pretence, a gesture without substance to it?

There wasn't time for thinking before a voice cut me back from my woolly thinking "You're back."

I turned around. My heart thudded in my chest. Ethan was in the doorway, with one of his hands on the wall. He had a slightly different expression. His stoic face didn't change, but his posture was less rigid and his eyes were softer. I saw something flash for a moment in his eyes, relief? Or desire?

"Yes," I said, softer than I meant to. "I'm back."

He entered the room, dominating the space immediately. My hands clasped the velvet box tightly as I grappled to read his face. "The flowers. the earrings. Thank you" I said softly.

He shrugged, eyes evading mine. "It's nothing.".

But it was something. It was everything to me. Ethan, the man I knew or still believed I knew did not do this sort of thing. He did not shop for flowers or presents. He did not soften, did not attempt to. And yet he stood before me now, awkward and uncertain. And my heart melted.

"I love them," I told him, moving closer. "They're lovely."

His gaze returned to mine, and between us the air vibrated with all the kinetic hums of living energy.

I breathed as his eyes dropped to my mouth, lingered just a moment too long. Warmth coursed through me, and I had to force myself to stay where I was, not bridge the space between us.

"I'm glad," he finally said, the words rough and in the back of his throat. He cleared his throat and dispelled the spell. "Dinner will be ready soon. I'll see you downstairs."

And with a poof, he disappeared.

The dining room was nearly intimate, the china placed along the table, a soft glint of the chandelier along its full length. Ethan was seated at the head; his back, as ever, perfect. I sat across from him, a feeling of calm between us, but the silence that lay over us was not a stifling one.

"Did you enjoy your time with your parents?" he asked finally. He did not seem in the slightest unneutral.

"I did," I said, folding my hands in my lap. "It was nice to be home for a bit."

He nodded, stabbing at his steak. "Good."

"And you?" I attempted. "Was your week fine?"

His fork hovered in the air and for an instant, I wasn't sure if he would answer. Then he set it on his plate and stared at me. “It was quiet," he said. "Too quiet, the house felt….empty."

My heart spun. It didn't count for anything, but from Ethan, it was everything. He missed me or from what he said, it seemed like he missed me.

"I missed you," I barely whispered, watching his reaction.

His jaw clenched, and he looked away, his fingers clenching and unclenching around his wine glass. "Lila."

I leaned forward, my hand on the table. "Ethan, I'm not asking for much. Just open yourself to me, even if it’s just a little."

He took a deep breath, running his hand through his hair. "It's just not that easy."

"Why not?" My voice cracked. "What are you afraid of?"

He regarded me, and what I saw in his eyes, the raw emotion took my breath away. "You wouldn't understand.”

"Try me," I whispered.

For an instant, I believed he would. He opened his mouth and closed them once more, setting his shoulders. "It's late," he finally said, rising and shoving his chair back. "We should go to bed."

A wave of disappointment flooded me, but I forced it down. "Of course."

That evening, in bed, my thoughts went back to him, the expression on his face, his walls falling and his said walls rising again. I so desperately wanted to touch him, break down the walls he had erected for himself so solidly. But how?

I rolled over onto my side, and the scent of lilies enveloped me gently. My eyes wandered to the earrings on the nightstand, diamonds sparkling in the faint moonlight. Maybe, just maybe there was hope.

The song of birds outside my bedroom window woke me up the next day. The sunlight poured in to leave a golden design on the floor. I permitted myself, for a moment, to fantasize that everything was all right: that I was really a couple with Ethan, waking to another beautiful day. The illusion crashed against the periphery of my consciousness.

Reality followed.

I found him in the kitchen, sleeves rolled above his elbows, a mug of coffee grasped in one hand. He looked up when I walked in, locked gazes with me for an instant, then turned his back to me.

"Good morning," I said, attempting to put some cheer into my voice.

"Morning," he answered, his tone short.

I poured coffee into a cup and leaned against the counter to observe him. He was stiff, as he fought not to utter one word. Or maybe he was fighting not to glance my way.

"Do you have a lot of work today?" I tried to ask, miserably hoping to fill this horrible silence with some kind of conversation at least.

"Always," he muttered, head bent.

"Ethan…

He let out a loud sigh, slamming the cup down slightly harder than he really needed to. "What is it that you want from me, Lila?"

I was shocked at his sudden display of temper, standing there. "I want you to talk to me, to relax."

"I'm trying," he growled in a low, gritty tone. "It's just….not easy."

"Why?" I pressed. "What's holding you back?"

He brought his hand through his hair, irritation etched upon his face. "You wouldn't get it."

"Then tell me," I took one step forward. "Ethan, I am not your enemy. I am your wife."

His gaze snapped to mine, and for a moment, the tension was palpable between us. My heart started racing as he moved closer, his eyes cold and pitiless.

"You want to know?" he almost snarled, his voice husky. "Fine. I'm concerned about your motive. Why you agreed to marry me. You barely know me." His words hung there, too heavy, uncooked. I extended my hand and took my hand and laid it on his arm. "Ethan, I am not here to hurt you."

He glared at me, jaw locked. Another second passed and I thought he'd walk away from me. Then the air was drawn out of him on a sigh and a careless roll of the shoulders. "I know," he said. "But I don't believe it. Not yet."

I placed my hand on his arm, holding it in position somewhat. "Then we take this marriage thing a little bit at a time, together."

He didn't say anything, but the expression in his eyes said it all. It wasn't a victory, but it was progress.

And that was sufficient for now.

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관련 챕터

  • Winning Her Back   Chapter 1: A hollow beginning

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최신 챕터

  • Winning Her Back   Chapter 8: Piercing gaze

    The first thing that hit me as I stepped into the house was the smell of lilies. So light, so elegant, so familiar. My heart skipped slightly as I stepped further into the foyer. It all seemed to radiate beneath the warm, gentle light. The house was spotless from top to bottom. The air itself seemed lighter, less heavy, than it did when I'd left. Unknowingly, my gaze strayed to the table, to the lily vase which stood resolutely upon it, their petals spreading in sensual delicacy under the soft light. "Mr. Blackwell insisted on us doing all of this, to have everything spotless to welcome you back," One of the workers whispered to me in muted tones, her voice barely on the brink of a whisper. I blinked in surprise. Ethan had arranged all this?I dragged my bag up to the second floor, half hoping to catch Ethan in his study holed up or perhaps out altogether. But as I flung open the master bedroom door, I was taken aback.By the bedside table was a little vase of fresh lilies, and beside

  • Winning Her Back   Chapter 7: Her absence

    Ethan’s POV The house was too quiet.I sat at the head of the dinner table, a plate of untasted food in front of me. I adored the quietness of this house; it was the sole place where I could think without interruption, without useless chatter. Yet now, quietness was too loud, too conspicuous.She'd been gone for four days.It should have been impossible to care, I wanted distance, didn't I? Her absence was supposed to be a relief. No gentle smiles that I could not reciprocate, no optimistic glances that caused my chest to feel sore. But now, the empty spaces were more oppressive with the air condensed by her absence.I pushed the plate away and stood; chair scraping against the floor. I needed to get to work. Work puts my head in order. Numbers made sense, logic. Unlike Lila.At the office, I delved into reports and meetings. But my mind betrayed me and wandered to her at the most inopportune times.I recalled the way she'd stood in the library the other day, her lips slightly apart

  • Winning Her Back   Chapter 6: The ties that bind

    It was a silent ride to my parents' place except for the soft hum of the car. The countryside blazed by in green and gold streaks. It moved in motion blur in a way that was beautiful to look at but I was not focused on the view. Ethan was who I had in mind; his coldness, his reserve, the way in which his eyes sliced through me like a knife without even actually looking at me.The car finally pulled onto my parents' driveway and stopped, and with my little bag, I got down and thanked the driver. I turned and my mother was already at the door. She opened it before I'd even knocked, her warm smile trembling as she saw my face."Lila, darling," she said, her arms enveloping me tightly. "You look so tired. Come in, come in."The house, filled with the scent of freshly baked bread and home-made lavender, enveloped me like a cloak. My father was in the living room, reading the newspaper, and he laid it aside and stood up when he spotted me, his arms wide open."There's my girl," he hugged me

  • Winning Her Back   Chapter 5: The Aftershocks

    The following day of the dinner party felt bleak, too bleak. The mansion stood as an empty reminder of how it once had been; it was me and my thoughts, with hardly a wisp of lilies still wafting through the air from last evening. I sat at the kitchen counter, clutching a steaming cup of tea within my grasp as my thoughts replayed every second of last night and before.Ethan had been maddeningly vague, as usual. A brief flicker of something, warmth maybe? Yearning? But it vanished in effect the very moment it had existed, and I was left grasping at thin air. I recalled the way his hand lay across my back, fingers merely grazing my skin as we greeted the guests. For a second, it seemed like we were in a perfect world where he was mine. But then came his cold, clipped words after everyone left, slicing through whatever fragile connection we’d formed.Why couldn’t he just let me in?I breathed out and put the cup down, and then I stood up to clear my head. I went into the library, the sce

  • Winning Her Back   Chapter 4: Cracks in the ice

    Golden light flooded in like a river through the big windows in the kitchen. Standing at the counter, whipping up batter in a bowl. Firm and sure were my hands; elsewhere was my mind.I had hardly slept a wink the previous night, at the back of my mind was the mystery of Ethan's face, cold and yet fragile, so much lacking, my mind kept turning round it asking myself what the missing pieces could be.This afternoon, I did something different, something small but special. One of the times that I spoke to Ethan's mom, she talked about how much, as a young boy, Ethan enjoyed chocolate chip muffins. A small thing, perhaps, but maybe it would serve as a reminder that I paid attention, that I cared.I took the muffins out of the oven and placed them on a plate, releasing bouquets of the richest chocolate-stuffed aroma into the air. My heart seemed to pound at the notion that somehow, such a simple act could span the gulf so rapidly developing between us.I turned around and considered the pl

  • Winning Her Back   Chapter 3: The fortress within

    ETHAN'S POV The sound of my pen scratching across the paper was the only thing tethering me to reality as chaos swirled around the office. Numbers, reports, projections, they were safe, predictable. They didn’t ask questions or pry into the disaster that was my personal life. They didn’t care about the sham of a marriage I’d been forced into.Business didn't need my heart.The phone on my desk jingled, and I glanced over at the name scrolling on the face of the phone. My jaw was clenched. Of course it would be her.I let it ring.A minute later, my assistant's voice crackled over the intercom. "Mr. Blackwell, your mother is on line one. Shall I connect her?""No," I said curtly. "Tell her I'm in a meeting."I leaned back in my chair and exhaled deeply. I didn't hate my mother, deep down, I really love her, but her meddling finally went too far. Her arrangement for me to marry Lila was the ultimate betrayal.Lila.She roused in me a confused tempest.I did not want a wife. I did not w

  • Winning Her Back   Chapter 2: Bridges unbuilt

    Islands of golden light in the morning streamed in through floor-to-ceiling windows, spilling out onto plush carpeting in the master bedroom. It was one of those odd, teasing moments when I could have been anywhere. There were hazy memories hovering just beyond recall, marriage vows, champagne toasts, and whispers about our "unlikely match" that seemed like fragments of a dream.And I rolled over to the other side of the bed, and the cold, intact sheets spoke in gory words. This wasn't a dream.I was Mrs. Ethan Blackwell.There was something in the heaviness of that realization. The husband to whom I had married, a stranger in so many ways had walked out after our strained showdown in the honeymoon suite last night and hadn't been back until very late last night. I'd heard the muffled sound of his footsteps down the hall, the firm click of his study door, and then nothing. He hadn't gone to bed.I looked out over the sea of empty space on either side of me and sighed in exasperation.

  • Winning Her Back   Chapter 1: A hollow beginning

    I stood in front of the two large oak doors as the delicate bouquet of white roses shook in my fingers. The carvings within the wood were so detailed they almost seemed intimidating. It truly was hard to believe that in a moment, I would walk through them into a life I was not so sure I was ready for.It wasn't very reminiscent of a wedding day, even to me. No overwhelming joy, no nervous anticipation of a beautiful beginning, just heavy, obliging weight squarely upon my chest. I looked down at the sleek satin gown my mother insisted on; the thought of its price still wrenched at my stomach. Beautiful indeed, but it felt more like an armor than something a bride would wear. "Lila," my mother whispered beside me, firm but pleading. "Stop fidgeting. You're marrying into the Blackwell family. Do you know what that means for us?"Of course, I knew, how could I not have? The Blackwells were untouchable, wealthy beyond my imagination, and my mother's closest friend, Margaret Blackwell, was

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