Wish You'd Love Me

"Mom, next Wednesday is my birthday. Could you get me a dress?"

My 18th birthday was coming, and I wanted to look presentable for once.

My mother stood in the walk-in closet, trying on the custom-made gowns she had ordered.

Each time she tried one on, she would compare it with a pink diamond-studded evening gown she had just had steamed and pressed.

I knew that gown was for Clarissa Gardner.

"Here, what do you think? Does this go well with that one?"

Her tone was light and cheerful, though she still ignored my request.

I nodded.

"Mom, you look great in anything."

That was true. She had striking features and took good care of herself.

After all these years, she might have forgotten about the times she hit me, but she never skipped her morning runs.

Unfortunately, her beauty had long since withered, like a flower whose roots had rotted away.

"Let's get ready. We'll go to the Gardners' for a visit."

For the past 18 years, my mother had frequently visited the Gardners, claiming to be close friends with Sadie Gardner, who had grown up alongside her.

On the surface, it seemed like a strong friendly bond, but in reality, it was all about her worrying over Clarissa, the girl she believed was her biological daughter.

As soon as we entered the Gardners' home, my mother exchanged a few brief pleasantries with Sadie before turning her attention to Clarissa.

"Clarissa, I've come to see you! I have a gift for you. You're going to love it."

It was the same evening gown she had been holding earlier.

"Why don't you wear it to your birthday party?"

Sadie immediately noticed the gown's high price. While it didn't faze her, she knew my family wasn't wealthy.

"Fiona, you've spent quite a lot on my daughter over the years," she remarked. "You should be a little kinder to Coco."

Sadie gently stroked my frazzled hair, which had been damaged from lack of care.

My mother didn't spare me a glance.

"Why are you being so polite? We were born in the same month, the same year. We've been friends forever. Of course, I want to treat Clarissa well. Unlike Clarissa, Coco is ungrateful. Do you remember the clothes you gave her? She hated them so much she burned them all."

The truth was, she didn't want me to have nice things at all. She hated it when Sadie treated me well.

Every time Sadie gave me a gift, my mother would list it for sale online as soon as we left the Gardners, making a profit.

She would then use that money to buy Clarissa gifts, worried I might have a chance at a better life with the Gardners in the future.

Meanwhile, Clarissa, who was the recipient of my mother's enthusiasm, didn't seem to appreciate it.

"Mrs. Strauss, my mother has already prepared the gown for my birthday party. Thank you for the gesture, but it's not necessary."

She hadn't referred to my mother as "Aunt Fiona" in a long time.

When my mother asked her why, Clarissa simply said she didn't like it.

Sadie scolded her for being rude, but Clarissa remained firm in her stance.

I once wondered if Clarissa distanced herself from my mother because I had stopped talking to her.

But in the end, my mother, being soft-hearted, allowed her to call her whatever she wanted. She didn't care as long as the affection was there.

Then Clarissa suddenly turned to me and said, "Mrs. Strauss, why don't you let Coco wear this dress? It's more suited to her than to me."

Not only did Clarissa reject my mother's gift, but now she wanted to give it to me.

My mother couldn't hide her anger.

"That spoiled brat doesn't deserve this dress! She's ungrateful, and she isn't even worthy of wearing a dress you don't want!"

Realizing she had spoken too harshly, my mother quickly tried to cover up her words with a forced laugh.

"Clarissa, you can't be too kind. You need to know who's worth keeping in your life and who's not. Let's not talk about this anymore. How did you do on your mock exams?"

Clarissa politely replied, "Thanks for asking, Mrs. Strauss. I should be fine getting into a good college."

My mother's face brightened, and her voice was full of pride.

"I knew you could do it! Bring me your score report. I'd love to take a photo as keepsake."

Though I had grown used to it, the affectionate look in my mother's eyes made my heart ache.

Was this the way she would have treated me as her real daughter?

"By the way, Mrs. Strauss, Coco did really well in her mock exams too."

When my mother heard Clarissa mentioning me repeatedly, her expression soured.

"I already know how she did. You don't need to cover for her. Alright, I won't take up any more of your time. Once your college entrance exams are over, I'll have a big gift for you."

After we said our goodbyes, my mother shoved me to the ground the moment we walked into the house.

But that wasn't enough to satisfy her. She grabbed a stick and started hitting me, carefully targeting the places where my clothes would cover.

"Did you tell Clarissa that you wanted this dress? You're a liar, and Clarissa is the only one who covers for you. I know how bad you are at studies—how dare you say you did well at your exams!"

More hits rained down on me, and I curled up on the floor, shielding my head.

I remained silent, enduring it all. After all, it wouldn't take long to be over.