CHAPTER 17 — WHY?

🦋 BENITA 🦋 

Rather than being a mess, my life was fun for the first time since I was 10. It's been from pain to pain since the death of my mother.

I entered the mini studio I had rented, and my spirit, body, and soul screamed freedom.

I got a drink and turned the music on, screaming, dancing and jumping around.

“I'm free! I'm free! Freedom!”

At that moment, I was on top of the world, I couldn't wish for anything more.

I had enough money, and now I had a space of my own; I was going to start a sweet, soft life. Trapped? That's past tense now, it's all in the past.

Deep down, I felt like I left something behind.

“Of course I did,” I told myself, “All the clothes, shoes and bags Felix bought for me.”

But that wasn't the case, and I knew. But what's life without having something to deny?

Fuck everyone! I'm free and I'm never going back.

It was 2 am, I didn't stop drinking and jumping around, it's either that I was too happy or too anxious. 

Suddenly, a knock sounded on the door, and I froze.

“Wait,” I murmured, “Why is my heart beating fast? It's probably the neighbours, who else would be here at this time?”

I shouldn't have opened that door, yes. I regret that action.

As soon as I opened the door, one of Felix's men stood there, with wide eyes and mouth open, and before I could correct my mistake of opening the door, he screamed like a fool.

“Boss! We found ma'am!” 

I was perplexed, I slammed the door shut and injured his fingers in the process, running towards my bed in fear.

I could still hear him screaming, “Boss, she's in here, I saw her with my own eyes,” 

"That stupid idiot," I whispered.

“Ma'am, come outside,” he begged. “Boss threatened to kill us all if we didn't find you.”

I rolled my eyes, “Even I, want to kill you right now.” I snapped back.

“I'd rather you kill me, ma'am,” he voiced.

“Benita!” Finally, Felix’s voice echoed out. That was all he said, but weirdly, that alone sounded like a threat.

“How did they find me?” I wondered, I even had to change my phone number so they'll be unable to track me down.

“Benita!” Felix growled, “If you don't open the door right now, I'll break it down. You'll have to pay for damages.”

If I had known my freedom was going to end soon, I would have enjoyed it better.

“Should I have travelled out of the country instead?” I thought sadly.

“Break the door down!” Felix commanded.

I rushed over and flung the door open, my head hung low.

I couldn't look into his eyes, but I could feel his gaze on my forehead.

“Why did you leave?” He barked.

I exhaled sharply, “You wouldn't let me leave, so I had to run away.”

“You did think you could run away from me?” He muttered. 

“I’m taking you home.”

I stepped backwards, shaking my head, “I'm not going with you.”

He gawked at me and looked away, “You don't have a choice, Benita.”

“I do!” I yelled, tears suddenly welled up and overflowed, streaming down my face as emotions overwhelmed me. “Please let me start my own life, Felix, I'm happy here.”

“Are you?” He reasoned out.

I mean, I do feel a little… empty.

“I don't care if I'm happy or not,” I pointed out. “I just want a life for myself.”

Felix took steps closer to me, “Why can't you have that life with me?” 

“I'm tired of hanging around those who don't love me,” I whispered truthfully.

As our eyes met, I felt a warmth spread through my chest. He looked at me with kindness, genuine interest, and a softness that made me feel seen and appreciated. It was as if he truly noticed me, and his gaze held a quiet affection that touched my heart, before he promptly looked away.

“What was that look?” I thought. “Was that… love?”

“What if I do?” Felix asked, “Would you change your mind?”

I paused, as I felt a tingling feeling in my chest, “Is he about to propose? Here in front of his men?” I thought.

“Do you?” I asked to be sure, “Felix, do you love me?”

“The contract says you can only leave when the bride returns,” he blurted out.

I slowly shut my eyes in disappointment, “Fuck you! And fuck your contract! Felix, I won't go with you.”

He turned around like he was about to ignore me and leave, “Get her into the car.”

Strong hands grasped my arms, pulling me toward the vehicle. I struggled, but they held tight, like their life span depended on me being captured, overriding my resistance. Before I knew it, I was thrust into the car, the door slamming shut behind me. 

After a few hours drive, we drove into the mansion, and I angrily fought everyone who attempted to touch me.

Until I found myself draped over Felix's shoulder, my stomach pressed against his back, and my legs dangling down. He supported me securely with one arm, holding me in place as he walked. The position was both helpless and oddly comforting, like a child being carried by a parent. I felt a mix of embarrassment and a strange sense of safety, all at the same time.

“Felix set me down,” I roared.

“Or what?” He fired back.

I accepted my fate as we stepped into my bedroom. I sent Felix a gaze that said, “I'm not happy with you, dude.”

He smirked, “Next time you want to run away from me, think hard about it. Because even if you leave this planet, I'll find you and bring you back here. Even in death, I'll come after you.”

“Do you hate me that much not to see me happy?” I asked with raised eyebrows.

“Yes,” he whispered, “I hate you so much that I would never let you leave.”

With that, he left. I threw my pillow towards the door furiously as I yelled at the top of my lungs, “But why? I need a freaking reason you jerk!”