LOGINCAIN POV
“The glass,” I say, “you’ll cut your feet.” “Surprised you care.” “Blood’s harder to get out than mud,” I say and she thinks I’m serious. Her eyebrows pit until I smile. I can’t believe I’m fucking smiling. “He really didn’t mean it,” she tells me. “Brian, I mean. He’s been nice to me.” I wonder how nice Brian’s been. I wonder whether he’s had his hands inside the cami top I’m staring down into. I wonder if his mouth has been on her. I wonder what she tastes like. I’m usually unmoved by attractive women. I’ll fuck them and enjoy it, but they make little lasting impression. Blonde, brunette, redhead; they’re usually much of a muchness. As long as their body is tight and their pussy is wet, that’s good enough for me. Moona Avii isn’t like any of the attractive women I’ve ever seen. Her eyes are much older than her years, glinting with the promise of both a potty mouth and a massive chip on her shoulder. She dresses like a tomboy, a loose bomber jacket obscures her surprisingly tight cami. I get the impression that stripping the layers will show more and more women the deeper you go. She’s all women. There’s no doubt about that. Her scruffiness only adds to her femininity, as odd as that sounds. “Let me clean up,” she says, and I let out a breath as I release her. She tiptoes around the broken glass, being careful with her feet as she sprays polish over the table. I watch her scrub the bird crap from the top. Her fingernails are grubby. They’re also bitten to shit. I can’t believe I’m doing it, but I grab the brush and pan from the utility room and work to clear the glass from the dining room carpet. I tell myself it really is to save it from bloodstains, but I’m saving her feet and I think she’s well aware of that, too. She doesn’t say a word as she goes about her cleaning and neither do I. I’m almost relieved as I hear Brian’s car pull onto my driveway. Almost. The other part of me wishes I’d never called him. Worryingly it seems the Moona Avii delusion might be fucking contagious. • • • BRIAN POV I should’ve called Moona last night. Or I should’ve at least tried. Even better, I should’ve turned back up at Cain’s and told her I’m not going to be pushed away by her sticking her middle finger up to everyone trying to help. I should’ve told her that if things were different, if I was ten years younger and hadn’t spent the last five months with her on my books, that I’d be falling into bed with her in a heartbeat, for right or wrong. I should’ve told her I care. That I care too much. Cain’s right; this is a midlife crisis and it’s getting the better of me. I can’t get her out of my mind, and it takes every scrap of determination to stay focused on my meetings through the morning, knowing full well she’s at Cain’s getting up to Christ knows what. If she’s even still there. The idea she’s taken off again sends a chill up my spine. I’m talking through career options with a kid called Broody when I feel my phone buzz in my pocket. I hope it’s her calling. I hope it’s her who’s left a voicemail when I feel the second buzz go off. I ignore it until Broody’s session is wrapped up, of course I do, but my fingers are clumsy on the handset once he’s out through the door, racing to retrieve my call log. My heart drops when I see Cain’s number appear on screen. Shit. I sigh as I press to hear his message, feeling like such an asshole for keeping him in the dark through this. His house isn’t a hostel, and his friendship is worth more than keeping secrets of this magnitude, even for the sake of just a few days. His voice is gruff enough to take me aback. His message chills my blood. ‘You’d better get here. Now. I’m in my fucking living room with your missing fucking person. Get here, Brian, before I call the fucking police.’ I check the call time. Forty minutes ago. Fuck. Fucking fuck. Holy fucking fuck. I grab my jacket from the back of my chair and make a dash for it, hating how frazzled my explanation sounds when I ask my assistant to please cover my appointments for the rest of the afternoon. She looks worried, and I feel like more of an asshole by the second. “Are you alright, Brian?” she asks, and I count on looking as fucked up as I feel when I tell her I think I’ve got food poisoning. She nods. “You don’t look well.” I don’t feel well, either. I make a sharp exit, barely even offering her a goodbye in my haste to be out of there. I jump into the car and speed off for Cain’s, drumming my fingers on the steering wheel all the way. Please, for fuck’s sake, don’t call the police. Please, for fuck’s sake, don’t let her run. Every set of traffic lights conspires against me, and the usual five-minute journey takes over ten. My tires screech as I pull onto his driveway, stopping just short of bumping his Range as I kill the ignition and bail out. I don’t knock, just charge on in and expect to find a war breaking out, but it looks as though it’s already happened. Muddy boot prints everywhere, and oh fuck how I cringe inside. I stare open-mouthed at the state of the living room, cursing as I spot the smashed frames on the mantelpiece. I’m calling his name as I charge down the hallway, following the boot prints through to the kitchen and on through again to the dining room. I take a breath as I find them, my heart thumping with the relief that she hasn’t gone running. Not yet, anyway. “I can explain,” I begin, but Cain’s face looks like thunder. “This isn’t Moona’s fault.” “Which fucking bit of it?” he snaps, and I cringe again as I notice this room has hardly fared better than the others. Moona’s voice is breathy when she speaks. “I tried to save a crow. His leg was stuck in a fence. He freaked out, flew everywhere.” I try to take in the story, breaking out in a cold sweat when I notice Cain’s sculpture is missing from the top of the display cabinet. I notice the brush and the pan full of glass at his feet and the furniture polish in Moona’s hand. No. Oh God, no. “I’ll pay for the damage,” I say, and Cain sneers at me. “Yeah, just P****l me your retirement fund, why don’t you?” Moona looks on blankly and I hope he doesn’t elaborate and tell her how expensive that ornament was. He doesn’t. “This is so fucking out of order,” he snaps and I nod because it is. “I’m sorry,” I say, which is the truth of it. “I was in a corner. I was trying to do the right thing.” “The right thing would have been to book her into a fucking hotel, Brian. The right thing would have been to let me know you’re using my fucking house as emergency accommodation. The right thing would have been to fucking tell me you found her in the fucking first place.” I nod through all of it. Yes, yes and more yes. I feel like a fucking idiot, more off the rails than even I fully realised. “It isn’t his fault,” Moona offers and her simple defence makes my heart pang. “It is my fault,” I counter. “This was my decision, Moona didn’t ask to come here.” “The crow’s your fault,” Moona tells Cain and I will shut her up before she talks herself into a bigger hole than we’re in already.MOONA POVI don’t know how long they will hold me there, but I never want to move.I’m scared I’ll fall apart without their arms around me. I’m scared I’ll shatter into pieces and never pick them all up again.I remember all the times the guy who called himself Peter touched me. I remember all the times he told me that that was what love felt like.But love feels nothing like that, and I know it now.I want to forget every second I ever spent with him. I want to feel how much I’m loved for real this time.I want to feel kind hands on my body. I want to feel kisses that give, not kisses that take.I want them. The only two men who’ve ever counted.I need to know I’m still theirs and they’re mine, and words aren’t enough.Words will never be enough now I know how easily a random guy like Mathew Connor could speak whatever he wanted in my ear.I’m still in their arms as I press my lips to Cain’s neck. Brian is still pressed to my back as I reach for him.Cain doesn’t respond at first as
BRIAN POVAnd suddenly all the pieces fit into place. She’s in a daze as she heads through to the living room and sits herself down on the slashed sofa. She pulls her knees up to her chest and hugs them tight as Cain sits alongside her and I drop to my knees on the floor. “It’s alright, Moona,” I say, “you can tell us.” And she does. She tells us everything. She tells us how happy she was to find her brother. She tells us the story of what happened all those years ago in Peter’s family home. She tells us how they thought it was her assaulting their younger daughter and leaving bruises on her arms, but it wasn’t. It was Peter, and that makes sense too. The kid was troubled when I met him, narcissistic tothe point it gave me shivers. Thoroughly dissociated from those around him. And now he’s studying law, blending into the student populous no doubt oblivious to the pain he caused the broken girl sitting before me. He didn’t mention Moona once in all our s
MOONA POVI want to tell him but I can’t. Even now I can’t let them throw Peter in prison. He’s my brother. He was there for me when no one else was. My heart is breaking worse than Cain’s, even though I can’t show him. My heart is breaking because I know I can’t come back from this, because no matter how much Cain’s eyes say he wants to forgive me, I know he won’t. I know he can’t. I know he’ll never trust me again. I wish I could say I’m sorry, but I can’t. Even though I can’t bring myself to land my brother in the shit, I can’t bring myself to confess all this either. Cain’s glaring right at me as I hear Brian’s car pull onto the drive. I want the ground to swallow me up and never spit me out again, but I’m standing right here with nowhere to run and no one to turn to.Brian doesn’t even notice the destruction as he steps through the door. He sees me before Cain but he’s already got questions of his own. “Mathew Connor was asking directions to your house in town ea
CAIN POVMy crazy idea for Brian’s career wouldn’t let go once it started. That’s why I called the bank today and set up an appointment. That’s why I marched in there with a hastily drawn up plan and opened a new account all ready to start. It’s crazy but perfect. Perfect for both of them. I can’t fucking wait to fill them in on the news.I’ve got more money than I’ve ever known what to do with, and more than enough time around work to help with the practicalities of setting up something like this. I make sure I’ve got my folder of ideas on the passenger seat as I buckle up and head for home. I know I’ll be earlier than Brian, I’ll just have to keep my mouth shut until he gets there. There’s a crunch of glass under my foot as I step inside. My brow creases as I stare down at it, and it takes me a second to realise it’s the mirror from the wall, smashed to pieces. What the fuck? Memories of walking in on Moona for the very first time come flooding back to me,
MOONA POVThe attached photo makes my heart race. A picture of the centre of Lydney. He’s here. Oh my God, he’s really here. But he doesn’t know Cain. He doesn’t know where I live now. I try to force the nerves away but they won’t budge an inch. All the filthy things I did for him come back to the pool in my belly. They make me feel sick. I used to think it was okay before I knew what real love felt like, but now I know it isn’t. It never was. What he did to me was cruel and disgusting. The way he made me use my body for him was a world away from how Cain and Brian make me feel. I don’t care that he’s my brother anymore, or that he’s holding family news over my head. I don’t care that I may never get to see them again if I don’t do what he wants. If they wanted me, they’d have found me long ago. If they still believe his lies after all these years then I’m better off without them. All the years of making excuses for him in the name of lo
I can’t believe I’m doing this, I can’t believe my dick is still hard, but it is. It’s only when I hear Cain grunt that I realise he’s not nearly so hesitant as I am. But Cain never is. Cain doesn’t have limits like I have. Cain goes all in for the pursuit of pleasure, and right now his pleasure is in Moona’s hand as she rubs his dick against mine. “Fuck,” he says. “Peen on fucking peen. This has never been on my fucking agenda.” But he doesn’t stop and neither do I. And it occurs to me, right at the back of my mind, that maybe he wants this. Maybe he’s not nearly so hung up on what all this means as I am. The thought that he might even enjoy these blurry boundaries takes me aback, but makes my dick throb. It makes me shunt closer, giving Moona all the leeway she needs to press us length to length and move us as one. Oh fuck, it feels good. It feels so filthily good. “You like it,” she whispers, “I can feel it.” I don’t argue and neit







