CHAPTER FIFTY-FOUR

GWEN POV

I should do something but was at a loss for what that something should be, except to hope that Mira would never come back. Thank goodness my father wasn’t here. Thinking of my father had me checking my watch. Noting the time, I decided I would go make dinner since he’d be home soon.

As I cooked fried rice, I tried to ignore the fact that I was hoping it was as good as what Nolan cooked me at the cabin and instead focused on what to tell my dad about Mira’s visit. Losing her hadn't been like losing my mom for him. But that didn't mean she hadn't broken a part of him. She made him feel duped and stupid, and it continued to affect his confidence.

By the time he got home and we sat down to eat, I was still at a loss for what to say and ultimately didn't say anything. After dinner, we hung out watching TV, and then I went back to finish my studies.

At nearly nine o'clock, I was thinking of getting ready for bed when my phone pinged with a message. I checked my phone. Nolan.

I started to set my phone down to ignore it but found myself unable to do so. I was one of those people who had to respond to everything whether it was a text, a voicemail, or a phone ringing. I remembered Mira and her saying she was going to make sure he paid his fair share. Goodness. Had she gone to visit him?

I poked the button to open the text.

‘How are you today?’ The text he sent flashed in front of my phone screen.

That little part of me that hoped he really cared tried to rise up, but I pushed it down.

What he was really asking about was the baby.

‘Fine.’ I typed.

Hopefully, my one-word answer would give him a clue that I didn’t want to converse with him.

‘I'm glad to hear it. I'm fine too.’ His text popped up.

I couldn't help it. My lips twitched upward at his text. He was ignoring my terseness, just like he had when he was babysitting me. But I wouldn’t let it sway my feelings. I set my phone down and turned off my computer.

A few moments later, my phone pinged again. With an exasperated groan, I picked it up to read the text.

‘Do you still hate me?’ I read.

Hate was a strong word. I couldn’t say for sure that I hated him. But I definitely hated things he did.

‘Yes.’ I typed before hitting the send button.

I waited for a moment, and when I decided he was done texting and started to put my phone down, it pinged again.

‘Goodnight, Gwen.’ I read.

I studied the text, wondering what he was up to? Maybe he wasn't up to anything. It was probably that stupid part of me still longing for the sweet Nolan I had met at the cabin.

I tossed the phone on my bed and went to do my nightly routine. I told my dad goodnight and climbed into bed.

It wasn't unusual for Nolan to appear in my dreams. After Christmas, those dreams were usually erotic. But after New Year's, and especially after the night he'd been drunk on my doorstep, he’d show up in nightmares.

Tonight should have been no different, considering the way he’d been upset with me in the car. So it was a surprise when he took my hand and brought it to his lips.

That's not going to stop me from trying, he’d said when I told him he couldn’t do anything that would make up for his behavior. He repeated it in my dream as he guided me to the fire at the cabin.

“No. I won’t do this again.” I tried to tug away. I tried to get out of the dream. Back to reality.

“Are you trying to punish me?”

I wasn’t, was I? No. He said terrible things to me. Even if I was punishing him, he’d deserve it.

“No, but I don’t trust you.”

“I know. But you and I are connected from now on.” He tugged me close again, and all the warmth and caring and desire from the cabin swarmed through me. I was helpless against it, melting into him. His lips covered mine and I groaned at his taste. Oh, how I’d missed that. Why did he have to be such a jerk?

But this wasn’t the real world. This was my dream, and there, he could be the man I wanted. Sweet. Sexy. Mine.

So I gave into it. I didn’t resist as our clothes disappeared and he laid me in front of the fireplace. I pulled him to me, opened for him, taking him in.

‘—-You and I are connected from now on.——‘

Tears came to my eyes as I realized that the baby wasn’t our only source of connection. Despite it all, he was a part of me. No matter what, a part of him would always be with me.