CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN

GWEN POV

I never realized that having sex could feel so different each time. I don't mean just the positions, of course, I knew about those. But I hadn't realized that the whole feeling could change—the speed, the mood, the pacing.

We’d had fast and wild. We had fun and playful sex. And now, this was slow and steady, like a lazy Sunday morning that never ends. Even with the change, the feeling was still strong. Every time Nolan touched me, kissed me, or just looked into my eyes while he moved inside me, it took my breath away. The deep, warm feeling of it settled right into my heart. I was so thankful for these moments, but a little part of me was already sad, grieving that it would all be over soon.

He lay right on top of me now, his hands holding mine above my head. His green eyes watched my face as he moved slowly, deeply inside me. My heart ached, wishing this could mean so much more than just a few days.

“Wrap your legs around me,” he whispered, his voice low and a little rough.

I did what he asked, using my legs to pull him in deeper with each slow, sure push. While this climb to the top was not as fast and desperate as the first time, when I reached the peak, the wave of release that washed over me was just as huge and powerful. Then, it was finished.

I couldn't say this was the best Christmas morning ever, because I had wonderful ones as a child. But it was definitely the best I’d had since my mother passed away. I felt a pang of guilt for thinking that. It felt a little like a betrayal to my dad and to my best friend, April. Maybe it was just because this whole experience was so new, so different. My life had been the same, exactly the same, for a very long time.

We both agreed that because it was Christmas Day, it was unlikely that my car would be pulled out of the ditch, even if the road workers cleared the fallen trees. I suspected that was the only reason Nolan was still being the sweet, fun man I had woken up next to. Soon, his "Mr. Douglas" side would return. I knew I had to get myself ready for that moment—the moment I would leave, and he would pull away.

Of course, he would. We had both said that this was a moment outside of our real lives. Once we went back to the real world, everything that happened here would have to disappear.

I rubbed my hand over my chest, a small, sad gesture, as I took out my clothes for the day. After we got up from the floor by the fire, I went to my room to shower and get dressed. We didn't have special plans, but since I didn't have a Christmas gift for him, I decided I would bake some cookies. I had today, this last day, to just feel all the joy and pleasure of the holiday.

When I reached the kitchen, I watched Nolan for a moment without him seeing me. I was checking to see if he was still the sweet and fun man I had spent yesterday and this morning with. He was standing at the stove, cooking something with one hand and taking a sip of coffee with the other.

He looked up and smiled—the same open, warm smile. "I hope you like French toast," he said.

Feeling safe again, I walked into the room. "I love French toast! You might have noticed I like most foods." I laughed, trying to make the mood light.

He frowned for a second, then rolled his eyes with a small smile. "You're not one of those women who are always comparing themselves to those fake women in magazines, are you?"

I shook my head firmly. "If I did that, I'd have to diet and exercise a lot more than I do."

He gave a small, approving nod. "Good."

"I'm surprised you say that, considering you own gyms and sell health products," I pointed out.

He simply shrugged as he flipped a piece of French toast. "Health comes in all shapes and sizes, Gwen. Physical health is important, but so is mental health. In fact, your mind and body are connected. You look happy and healthy, and that's what truly matters, right?" He gave me a knowing, sly smile that made my stomach flutter.

I was very happy to hear him say that.

We enjoyed breakfast together, talking easily about nothing important. After eating, I brought out all the ingredients to make sugar cookies. I was pleased to find he also had powdered sugar, which meant I could make frosting. He didn't have food coloring or sprinkles, but I found some fresh fruit, and we decided we could use that to decorate the cookies. We were just two people making a lovely memory.

Later that afternoon, after the kitchen was clean and the cookies were cooling, we ended up in the outdoor hot tub, completely naked. And, of course, nature took its course again.

The evening was a repeat of the night before: we had dinner, followed by hot chocolate with peppermint liqueur. We ended the evening on the floor in front of the warm fire, enjoying each other’s bodies until we were completely satisfied and sleepy.

As we lay there, Nolan wrapped his arms around me from behind, spooning me close. His breathing was slow and deep, telling me he was asleep. I thought about how quickly the day had gone by. Too fast. I wasn't ready for our time together to end. I wasn't ready to let him go.

It felt pointless, but I tried to think of what I could possibly say to him to keep us together. I knew it could only happen if April never found out, which made me feel that awful guilt again about betraying my best friend. But the heart wants what it wants, doesn’t it?

Maybe I could tell April I was going away to study, and then I could see Nolan. Maybe we could sneak back up here sometimes to be together. I fell asleep imagining a life that I knew, deep down, I couldn't really have.

•

•

•

I woke up the next morning feeling very cold. My eyes opened to find the fire was completely out, and Nolan’s body was no longer wrapped around me. I tried to hope that he was just off making breakfast, but deep down, I already knew the truth. Today, this perfect, magical Christmas holiday was over.

I got up quickly and put on my clothes, folded the blanket, and placed it neatly on the sofa. I peeked into the kitchen but didn't see him. So, I went upstairs to my room to shower and pack my things. A part of me still wished that the roads were impassable or that my car couldn't be pulled from the ditch, but I forced myself to face reality. I had to be grateful for this amazing experience, even as it hurt to let it go.

I carried my bags down the stairs and set them by the front door. When I walked into the kitchen, I smelled fresh coffee. Nolan was standing at the French doors, looking out at the cold morning, a mug in his hand.

He turned as I entered. His cheeks were a little red, and his dark, silver hair looked messy, like the wind had blown it—a sign he had been outside.

"There's coffee if you want some," he said.

I couldn't say his voice was rude, but it was certainly not the warm, welcoming sound it had been yesterday. It was flat and distant.

"Thank you. I'm all packed," I said, trying to sound easy and calm. Maybe if I showed him that I understood our time was over, he wouldn't feel the need to push me away.

"Good. The roads are clear. I met the tow truck driver down by your car early this morning. We dug it out and towed it back up here. It's parked out front."

I looked at the clock on the wall; it was only eight in the morning. He must have been up before the sun to get all that done. It told me clearly how eager he was for me to leave.

"Thank you for that. Really. If you just tell me the cost for the tow truck—"

He shook his head, interrupting me. "It's fine. I paid for everything."

Our eyes met for a brief, long moment. Then, he suddenly turned away and walked toward the main part of the kitchen. "Are you hungry? I was thinking of making eggs and hash browns this morning."

I really wanted to stay and have breakfast, to make our time last just a little bit longer. But what was the point? I should treat this like ripping off a sticky bandage—just do it quickly and leave.

"I really should get on the road soon. There will probably be a lot of traffic heading back to the city after the holiday," I replied, forcing a polite tone.

He nodded, and I honestly thought I saw a flicker of relief in his eyes. He walked around the counter, leaned against it, and crossed his arms over his chest. His body language was closed off and firm. "Before you go, I need to make sure we're completely clear about everything—"

"I know," I snapped back, a little more sharply than I meant to. "April is not to know anything."

"I'm sorry if that hurts you, but I was clear from the start about how this would work." His voice was firm, unyielding.

"That you were," I agreed, keeping my voice cool.

His jaw tightened, as if he didn't like my short, cold answer. Maybe I had a bit of an attitude, but I didn't like being reminded that I meant nothing more than a few days of physical fun to my best friend's father.