CHAPTER TWENTY-EIGHT

GWEN POV

"We only met again because of April had set this trip, and since she didn't introduce us before, I think we won't see each other again." His words sounded like a simple statement, but I heard a clear warning: stay away from me.

My heart felt heavy and sad inside. But on the outside, I made sure to look strong and act like this whole thing—these last few days—meant nothing to me either. "It will be zero problem avoiding you, Nolan. Zero at all."

He looked closely at me for a moment. I started to think he was worried. Maybe he thought I had a crush on him and would try to seek more from him.

"You really don't have to worry," I told him, making my voice firm. "I'm not going to join your gym or wait outside your house. I have bigger things to do and more important goals than wishing for you. I still have a whole school semester to finish, then graduation, and then I need to get a job."

Something flashed in his eyes that I couldn't figure out. It couldn't be sadness or pain because I was telling him exactly what he wanted to hear.

I quickly pointed my thumb over my shoulder towards the door. "I need to get going now."

"Wait, how about some coffee?" he asked, surprising me. "I can pour some into a cup you can take with you."

"That's okay. I can stop for coffee on the way home," I said, shaking my head. "Besides, if I take your cup, I'll have to bring it back to you. And we really wouldn’t want that, would we?" I turned and walked toward the front door.

He caught up to me in just a few big steps. "Let me help you with your bags."

I wanted to say no. I wanted to stop being near him right now. But I didn't. Instead, I let him help me put my bags into my car.

I got into the driver’s seat, and he stood right by the open car door.

"The main roads are clear now, but the smaller ones might still be a little slippery," he said, his voice soft. "So please be very careful driving."

"I will be," I promised.

He just kept standing there, blocking my door, looking down at me. I wondered if he had something more he wanted to say. My mind was full of jumbled words, but I couldn't say any of them out loud. The silence stretched between us for a long time.

Finally, he gave a short, stiff nod. "I wish you the very best in your life, Gwen."

"Thank you," I whispered. I pulled the door handle, and he finally stepped back so I could close it.

The sound of his final goodbye brought tears to my eyes, but I fought them back hard. Instead, I started my car. I drove very slowly and carefully down his long driveway, turning out onto the main road.

I wanted to regret what happened between us. The sadness I felt now was so heavy. But at the same time, I was also very grateful for the last two days. I had experienced things I never thought I would. Of course, someday I would meet someone else, probably get married, and have children. But it was hard to imagine that I would ever feel the strong, intense feelings I had with Nolan. I suppose you never truly forget the first person you are intimate with.

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NOLAN POV

I fought with myself all morning to stop myself from asking Gwen to stay.

Even as her car drove away, a part of me wanted to chase after her, bring her back, and spend just one more day with her. She had a crazy power over me, and it made me angry. Because she was messing with my head and my feelings, she hadto leave. Goodbye. Finished. It was the only way to break the strange hold she had on me.

Frustrated, I marched back into the house and slammed the door behind me. I stood for a moment, not sure what to do next. It was still morning, but I walked straight into the kitchen, grabbed a bottle of expensive whiskey, and poured myself a big glass. After quickly drinking the strong liquid, I decided I would just take the rest of the day for myself. Get my head straight.

As I headed towards the living room, I passed the glass doors leading outside. I looked out at the hot tub. A sudden, clear memory of Gwen riding me and moaning there flashed through my mind.

I made an annoyed noise at the memory and kept going to the living room. But she was there, too. This is crazy. I couldn’t get away from thinking about her.

I pulled out my phone and called my daughter, April.

"I'm sorry I didn't call you on Christmas, Dad," she said when she answered the phone.

Holy cow. I hadn't even thought to call her, either. It was just another reminder of how completely wrapped up I had been with Gwen. I rubbed my hand over my face tiredly. "It's all right, sweetheart. I'm calling to see if you still plan to come up here. If not, I'm going to close up the cabin for the winter."

"I'm sorry, Dad. I don't have much more time off school. Maybe we can go up in a couple of weeks instead?"

I felt like a terrible father for not paying more attention to her the last few days. "Is everything okay with you?" I asked.

"Yes, of course." Her voice sounded completely normal, like she wasn't hiding anything. "I heard about the big snow. Are you okay?"

"Everything is fine," I said.

"How about Gwen? You didn't bother her, did you?" April asked playfully.

"No," I said through gritted teeth. Talking about Gwen with April was the last thing I wanted. What if I said something or sounded a certain way that hinted at what Gwen and I had done? "She's on her way home now. I'm going to pack up and leave here soon, too."

"Okay. We can talk later then."

"How about New Year’s Eve?" I suggested. "Do you want to get together then?"

"Oh, I'd love to, but I have plans. Now that I'm twenty-two, I want to go to a big New Year's party with friends."

I knew April probably hadn't waited until now to party, but I didn't ask about it. "Another time, then," I said simply.

"Drive carefully, Dad. I love you."

"I love you too, sweetheart."

Once I hung up, I grabbed the storage boxes and took down all the Christmas decorations, carefully packing them away for next year. After everything was clean and put away, I sent a text to the guy I hired to look after the cabin while I was gone. I let him know I was leaving.

I tossed my own travel bag into my car and headed out, driving back to the city. I hoped like hell that somewhere between the cabin and my home, I would completely get Gwen out of my mind.