CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

GWEN POV

"It's so frustrating, Gwen," Nolan said. He took a slow sip of his drink. His green eyes never left my face. "It is hard to avoid something you want so badly when it is right in front of you. Do you know what I mean?"

"I know exactly what you mean," I whispered.

I wasn't lying. To me, Nolan was like a rich chocolate cake. He was the thing I wanted most, but the thing I knew I shouldn't have. I knew that if I took just one bite, I wouldn't be able to stop. I would want the whole thing.

"You do?" he asked, his voice getting deeper.

"Yes," I said.

He leaned forward, the steam from the hot tub rising around him. "Do you feel it now? Here with me?"

"Yes," I admitted. My heart was beating fast.

"How good are you at saying no to your cravings?" he asked.

"It depends," I said, trying to stay calm. "It depends on how much I want the thing."

Nolan looked at me for a long time. Then, he set his glass down on the edge of the tub. He stood up slowly. He turned his body so he was facing me fully. He held his hands out to his sides. He was completely naked.

It was very hot in the water, but the air outside was freezing. I could see the steam rising off his skin.

"Is this appealing enough?" he asked.

He looked incredible. My mouth went dry. "You’re going to catch a cold," I said, trying to look away but failing.

He shrugged and sat back down into the bubbling water. "I guess I'm not appealing enough then."

"I didn't say that," I snapped back.

"Then why are you standing over there? Come in here with me," he said. "Same rules as last night. I won't do anything you don't want."

I wanted to jump in. I really did. But I was scared. "What happens tomorrow?" I asked. "Will you regret this? Will you be mean to me because you gave in to what you wanted?"

"I won't take it out on you, Gwen. I promise."

I looked at him. I loved it when he was kind and touched me gently. But I hated it when he was grumpy or annoyed. I didn't want to ruin the peace we had.

Nolan saw me hesitating. His face changed from a dare to a quiet look of sadness. "Fine," he said softly. "I won't be in here much longer. If you want to use the tub alone, you can come out later."

Suddenly, because he wasn't pressureing me anymore, I wanted it more than ever.

"My swimsuit is upstairs," I said, making an excuse.

He raised an eyebrow. "You don't need a swimsuit. If you're worried about me seeing you, I can get out right now. You can have the water to yourself."

I felt a spark of excitement. Being naked outside in the winter felt bold and a little bit dangerous. "No," I said. "Stay."

I walked to the wooden bench near the tub. I moved quickly, pulling off my clothes. The freezing air hit my skin, making me shiver violently. I felt like a crazy person. I ran up the steps and sank into the water. The heat was so intense it almost stung, but then it felt amazing.

Nolan smiled from the other side. "See? I told you it was perfect."

"It feels insane," I said, resting my arms on the edge. "Being naked while it's snowing."

"That is the best part," he said. "The hot and the cold. The contrast."

I closed my eyes. I breathed in the smell of the clean air and the steam. For a moment, everything was quiet.

"Are you sad?" Nolan asked suddenly. "Are you sad that you're stuck here with a grump like me on Christmas Eve?"

I opened my eyes. He looked like he actually cared about the answer. "Only when you act like Scrooge," I joked.

Nolan let out a real laugh. It was the first time I had seen him laugh like that. It reached his eyes and made him look younger and even more handsome.

"I will try to keep my inner Scrooge hidden," he promised.

"Then no," I said softly. "I'm not disappointed."

We stared at each other. The air between us felt heavy and electric again.

"Just so you know, Gwen," Nolan said, his voice dropping to a whisper. "I am not going to try to seduce you tonight."

I felt a little bit of disappointment. Did he not want me?

"If there is something you want from me," he continued, "you have to be the one to start it. I want you to be in control."

I liked that he was being respectful, but I felt shy. "Is there... something you want from me?"

"I think you know the answer to that," he said. He looked down at the water. I realized my chest was visible through the clear bubbles. My skin felt tingly, and it wasn't because of the heat.

I remembered telling him I didn't have much experience. Maybe this was the time to learn. "How do I do it?" I asked bravely. "How do I seduce you?"

A small smile touched his lips. "It is very easy, Gwen. Just come over here. Sit on my lap and press those tit to my face."

That did sound easy. I moved through the swirling water until I reached him. I felt daring. I climbed onto his lap, wrapping my arms around his neck. "Like this?"

"Exactly like that," he groaned.

His hands came up and moved over my skin. He lifted me slightly, letting the cold air hit my chest before bringing me back down to his warm skin. I made a low sound in my throat. I felt his body reacting to mine under the water. He was hard and warm against my body.

"Are you going to fuck me, Gwen?" he asked. He wasn't being mean; he was asking for permission.

"Yes," I gasped.

I lifted myself up and then sank back down, taking him inside me. I closed my eyes as I felt him fill the space. It felt perfect.

"God, you feel good," he whispered. "Go ahead. Thrust into me."

I didn't have to think about what to do. My body seemed to know. I started to move up and down, rocking my hips against him. I held onto his shoulders tight. I didn't feel the cold air anymore. I only felt the heat of the water and the heat of Nolan.

He put his hands on my hips to help me move. He leaned forward and kissed my neck, his tongue grazing my skin. The feeling sent a shock of pleasure through my whole body.

"Nolan!" I cried out. I couldn't stop. I moved faster and faster. Everything felt like it was building up to a huge explosion.

“It’s Alpha daddy to you! Thrust harder baby” He groaned around my ear and met my pace.

“Yessss, Alpha daddy!” I moaned.

Suddenly, a wave of pure joy and heat crashed over me. I shook in his arms as I hit my peak. A second later, Nolan let out a deep groan. He held me tight against him as he finished, too.

When it was over, I put my head on his shoulder. I felt like I had no bones left. I was completely relaxed. But a thought popped into my head: Why does something that feels so wrong feel so right?