Chapter 6. What Ifs

BELLADONNA

The apartment door swung open, tearing through the tension hanging in the air like an old curtain torn by the wind. Ryder released his grip from my shoulder, his arm falling to his side like a burden he'd carried too long, a mix of resignation and frustration. I took a step back, pulling away, trying to keep a safe distance between me and the emotions that were about to spill over.

“Good morning.” A man with dirty blonde hair invaded my home with energy as bright as the sun. His eyes darted between me and Ryder. “Am I interrupting?”

His voice had a teasing edge to it, as if he could sense something had happened between me and Ryder.

“No,” I replied, walking back into the kitchen, suddenly finding the bottle in my hand so interesting to avoid the awkwardness of both men being here. My heart was still racing, but I tried to keep myself busy.

Ryder cleared his throat, instantly putting his stoic mask back in place. He gestured to the blonde man and spoke briefly, “Do you remember this one? Noah, one of my Betas.”

Noah flashed a wide smile. “Hey, Miss Silveroak.” His voice was the same as before, cheerful and relaxed, as if no wounds or past haunted him.

I gave a nod of acknowledgment. It was hard to forget this ray of sunshine, even if I wanted to. Noah and I were the same age and had always been in the same school. I was somewhat relieved that he was the one who came. If it had been Liam, it would have been even harder to hold back from exploding.

Noah casually crossed the room and placed three paper bags on the dining table. “So, I bought bagels, salads, pancakes... Everything the café down the street serves for breakfast,” he explained as he rummaged through the bags. In an instant, my dining table was filled with more food than I could afford in a month.

My brows furrowed. I stared at the table with confusion and a hint of suspicion. “Why?”

Noah turned, his expression seeming to not understand my question. “Why what?”

“Why did you go through the trouble of buying all this?” My tone sharpened slightly, sounding more defensive than I intended.

“Oh, I just thought you might be hungry,” he replied, glancing at Ryder, who had been watching silently the whole time.

I shook my head slowly. “I'm not.”

“But—”

“I'm fine. Your kindness isn't needed here, so keep it to yourself,” I cut him off firmly.

They glanced at the state of my apartment and immediately assumed my life was pitiful, didn't they? I worked hard to put food on the table for my triplets, but I didn't ask for handouts.

“Don't be stubborn. You need energy.” Ryder grumbled, his voice sounding like a command wrapped in concern.

I turned to him and shot him a icy glare. “Don't lecture me.”

“Miss, try a little. I promise all this food is safe,” Noah pleaded again, pushing a delicious-smelling bagel toward me. His face was hopeful, like a puppy trying to please its owner.

“I—”

I opened my mouth, ready to refuse again, but the sound from my stomach cut me off. A growling noise, like the roar of a monster, interrupted the argument. Heat crept up my cheeks as I realized my body had betrayed me at the worst possible moment. Ryder was still staring at me, and I swore the corner of his mouth twitched as if he were holding back a smile.

I crossed my arms over my chest and avoided their gaze, swallowing my embarrassment. When was the last time I ate? I couldn't remember. My mind was filled with all sorts of terrible thoughts, and my appetite had vanished. I couldn't sit here while my triplets were starving out there.

“Fine,” Ryder muttered before turning to Noah, “Make sure she eats the damn food.”

His eyes flicked toward me briefly. Something I almost thought was a concern flashed in his eyes. Then, without another word, he turned and walked out of my apartment. I could breathe much more easily.

Noah sat down in the chair across from me. I could feel his gaze as I hesitantly reached for the bagel.

“What's with that look?” I muttered irritably, though I couldn't entirely hide my embarrassment.

Propping his chin on his hand, he flashed a small smile. “Just relieved that you're still alive. I didn't think I'd see you again. Remember how we used to play games late into the night and wouldn't stop unless Ryder or Liam told us to?”

His voice softened, and that simple question stirred something in my mind. Moments from my teenage years flooded back. I gripped the bagel tightly as my stomach growled again, demanding food. I tried to hold back the surge of emotion.

“Please stop treating me like I'm still part of the pack,” I muttered as I bit into the bagel. A sigh escaped my lips as the crispy bacon and soft egg exploded in my mouth.

But I quickly composed myself when I saw Noah's grin.

“Of course you're still part of Ambersky. Or have you joined another pack?” he joked lightly, but his eyes studied my reaction.

I gave him a deadpan look. “I've been a rogue for ten years. So stop the small talk or unnecessary nostalgia. You and Ryder are here to help me find my kids. Focus on that.”

His jaw tightened for a moment, but he nodded. “You're right. This isn't the ideal situation for a emotional reunion.” He lowered his head, his voice softening. “I'm sorry this is happening to you.”

I turned away, unwilling to respond to that all-too-familiar sympathy. Even in a moment like this, he still saw me as a friend.

“Whether you accept it or not, to me and Ryder, you'll always be part of Ambersky,” he added.

“Yeah? Even though I ruined the Alpha family's reputation and ran away whenever I felt like it?” I snorted bitterly. I knew I was being a bitch, but the sting in my heart wouldn't go away.

Noah raised an eyebrow but didn't say anything to argue.

“You think I didn't hear what the Ambersky members think of me? Not that I care.” I continued eating while grumbling.

Noah took a deep breath before answering. “The point is, now you don't have to worry. With all the connections and resources Ambersky has in this city, it will be easy to find your children.”

I nodded slowly, though my heart wasn't fully convinced. “I don't doubt all your resources.”

I put the half-eaten bagel on the table because it had turned into cardboard in my mouth. Bitterness mixed with dark thoughts as I whispered, “Do you know what scares me the most?”

Noah leaned in closer, paying attention.

“That the ones who took my babies aren't ordinary humans. What if they're other wolves? They prey on rogues like me,” I admitted. My heart ached. Heat stung the back of my eyes. But I wouldn't show my tears to him or Ryder. I still had enough pride not to look weak.

Noah's face hardened. “Ryder won't let that happen.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Yeah? Because the last time I got into trouble, he didn't bother to listen to me.”

Noah shook his head. “This time is different.”

I decided not to argue about it further. Mary, Iris, and Andy needed more attention than dwelling on past wounds.

A loud ringing sound diverted our attention. I hurriedly grabbed my phone, which had been lying neglected on the kitchen counter. My breath caught when I saw the name on the screen.

I glanced at Noah. “It's the police.”