Semua Bab Broken Within: Bab 21 - Bab 30

Three days later She felt as if she were floating. Her eyes were closed, and everything about her felt soft, a luxuriating fluffiness like the satin down comforter her grandma used to have. She thought she must have been sleeping. There was a not-unpleasant heaviness to her limbs, like the time she could finally sit down after standing and walking in the market for hours. Then her brain started to focus in a peculiar sort of way, powerless over thoughts that surfaced unbiddenly. Abubakar suddenly came to mind...how he had gotten her this way, and how she longed to tell Maam, but couldn't. Maama. . .As her consciousness began to return, she tried without success to open her eyes. Something tight and sticky was holding her lids together. Now she knew she was s

The room was eerily silent after Inna made that announcement."What are you saying?" Malam Kabir said softly."I won't let you send her away like this, Malam. We can settle everything without putting blame on anyone. What would sending her away do?""At least, I won't see her face and feel like beating her to a plump all the time.""Malam, please, you need to reconsider your decision.""There is nothing to consider woman! Zeenatu has to leave this house. I no more have a daughter named Zeenatu, ever!""Then, as I said, I'll be leaving with her. We'll come back when you're calm.""The moment you step out of this house, then you're no more my wife."Zeenah's heart slammed loudly at her father's words. What had she done to her family? She was trying to destroy everything that has been built for years, years before she had been born.

For the next three months, Zeenah healed outwardly, the bruises fading, and she started going twice a week to a therapist. Having never been to a therapist before, she expected she was going to have to lie back on a sofa and talk while some impersonal white-coated professional took notes.Instead, she was welcomed into a small, cosy office with a sofa upholstered in flowered yellow twill, by a therapist who didn’t seem all that much older than her. Her name was Karima Shehu, and she was beautiful in her own way and sociable. It was a relief beyond description to unburden herself to her. She was understanding and smart, and as Zeenah described things she had felt and gone through, it seemed she had the power to unlock the mysteries of the universe.  Karima said Abubakar's behaviour fit the pattern of someone with a narcissistic personality disorder, which was common for abusive husbands. As the doctor explained about the di

Zeenah's face was devoid of any emotions as she listened to her mother. "I don't understand, Maama," she finally said."I said," Maama started all over again, "what do you think of the idea of getting married, again?""Maama," Zeenah whispered brokenly, her voice shaking. "Don't do this to me, please.""I shouldn't do what?" Maama asked soothingly. "I shouldn't advise you to get married again? You think I like seeing you all broken and in pain each and every day?""Maama...""I understand you need time, but from what I understood, it won't change anything in you. It will only make you hate him more, with each passing day, you hate Abubakar more than you hated him yesterday. I can see it in your eyes, and that, my dear, is not a healthy trait.""But I don't want to get married anymore," by now, Zeenah was crying so hard, heart-wrenching tears rolled down her cheeks in folds

Her eyes blurred, and she wasn't sure if she had heard her father right, or if she did hear him wrong. She had no idea. But as she looked up again and saw the pain in her father's eyes, Zeenah knew that she had heard him right. He wants to marry her off. And she couldn't help but feel helpless, terrible. She had no idea she was hyperventilating until she felt her mum close to her, telling her to breath in and out."I think we should adjourn this seating until she's calm enough," Maama said worriedly."I think so, too. But we are going to go through with the wedding. I won't sit back and watch my daughter live in pain, live in her past life. Let's just hope that this doesn't crumble her more," her father said."I can vouch on the young man. His dad is a very good man and I've never heard of anything bad about the boy. In fact, he had been married once too, and as I explained, he's also closed off about women and relationshi