When I finally reach home, it's already past midnight. I don't bother to find my mother. However, on my way to my bedroom, I stop by to check on my grandma. She's sleeping quietly. I'll apologize to her first thing in the morning. Even if I don't fully mean it. Shutting the door close, I walk to my bed, my ears still buzzing with a noise. It's all a part of the transition. I realize I'm breathing faster now. And my body feels warm all over despite the cruel cold of the winter outside. Sitting on the bed, I hug my knees and close my eyes. When the picture of Niall and Riley kissing flashes across my eyes, I open them abruptly. I try to understand how that makes me feel. It's an incomprehensible, strange feeling. My heart no longer aches. It's like feeling nothing; a numbness that echoes in my chest. Does it mean that Niall isn't my mate? "Goddess, help me!" I whisper. My mind is drowning in confusion. I feel tired and buzzed at the same time. Looking back at my memories of the ni

In school, I have two birthday cakes waiting for me; one from my packmates and the other from Niall. I pretend everything is alright. The world does not need to know what happened. Although I know they will find out soon. I receive flowers from my pack. Blooming fresh purple irises. It is a ritual to give those flowers to anyone who has turned seventeen and is to shift for the first time. I have dreamt of it all my childhood. I have seen the irises in the vases around my house; these belong to my mother. My grandmother, however, has chosen to decorate her room walls with the flowers she has received. These flowers are said to be blessed by the Luna and only wilt when the werewolf they were given to dies. Riley is nowhere to be seen. I feel disappointed about that but I am not really upset. I want to get away as soon as I can. My eyes look for Jordan among the crowd but after what happened at the Crescent Night, the alpha seems to want to keep distance between us, at least when we ar

Sirens blaze in the distance; chaos reigns in the corridors. Everything is happening too quickly. The sounds of people crying, talking, consoling each other, arguing—all muffled into something incomprehensible to my ears. I still have the white paper snatched in my hand. Jordan hasn't moved from my side, but Niall is moving around as cops and elders from the pack start arriving at the location. My mind can't register what he's trying to do, but I assure myself that he's helping in some way. The buzzing noise in my ears has returned. "Nessa? Hey?" I hear Jordan call my name. "Are you alright?" He places his hand around my back. I don't push him away; instead, I lean in, feeling safer that way. "Yeah," I answer, "I'm fine." Jordan's voice drops to a soft tone, his eyes glistening with an emotion I do not understand. "Your phone has been ringing for a while. You were zoned out." "Oh," I mumble. Then shaking my head, I pull out my cellphone. There are five missed calls from my mother.

Several moments of silence follow between us. I make myself focus on the rhythm of Jordan’s beating heart, but his eyes are tempting, not allowing me to look away. I'm in a trance, one I do not wish to break free from. “I-I don’t know,” I hear myself say. It would be a huge lie if I said I had not imagined this moment a thousand times in my head before. But now when it is real, I feel my heart clouded by fear. His hands make their way around my waist and draw me closer still. “You don’t?” he questions me. His voice is hoarse, barely above a whisper. “Jordan, I…” I sigh, losing control of my own words. Even though our noses are touching now, I feel disappointed at the distance between us. Tearing my gaze away from his hypnotizing eyes, I try to look elsewhere. Then I find it lingering on his lips. “If I kiss you now, will you know?” he asks all of a sudden, causing my heart to still. I am not sure if I heard him right. I lick my lips, taking in a breath. Closing my eyes briefly, I

“No!” he blurts, stepping back. “Why would you think that?” I remain silent, not knowing what to say. He regards my face for a moment, his eyes gazing intensely, and then within a moment seals the distance between us, embracing me in a hug. I freeze, startled by his action. “Jordan, I really like you,” I whisper after easing into the hug. I hear him chuckle. “It’s obvious. Good for me.” He hugs me tighter. “I’ve wanted to kiss you for a while, Ness. And I swear nothing has felt more amazing.” “Y-You’re amazing too,” I say and bite my lip, realizing I could’ve said anything else and it would’ve sounded less stupid. That’s the effect he has on me. I’m always at a loss of words around him, my mind befuddled by his eyes. Jordan lets go of me briefly only to pull me in for a kiss. I smile against his lips. “I’ll walk you home?” he asks, tucking a strand of my dark hair behind my ears. I nod and smile meekly. — I step inside my house and close the door behind me, leaning against it