I wanted to sprint to Mains' house then and there, but my legs felt like Jell-O and my skin was thick with sweat. I needed a shower and rest, I needed my mind and body to be alert and sharp. I had been dismissed from training for the next few sessions as the Beta and Clarice prepared for my assessment, meaning I had the whole next day to spend with Mains searching for the missing journal. I shoved the dry crumbs of my sandwich in my mouth, determined to make it an early night and soak in as much sleep as possible. I showered quickly, rinsing off the sweat and hastily running shampoo through my matted hair. I rushed through every routine, desperately hurrying to my bed as if the morning would come sooner if I did. When I finally lay my head on my pillow I was met with urgent dreams, dreams of lapping flames and resounding screams. I dreamt of families being ripped apart, of dancing demons with glowing eyes licking at broken hearted wounds. My dreams burned, searing more

I awoke the morning of the Festival rested and in high spirits. My time at the pier - even if I was still unsure if it had been real - had restored in me so much peace. I was bright and excited for the new day ahead, of the lights and dancing the festival promised, the prospect of meeting new members and understanding their stories. I loved my poeople fiercely, even the ones I had only just encountered. I wanted nothing more than their safety and happiness, and tonight I could be a part of one of those things. Torrance had made me promise her that I would come get ready with her at the Pack House. She had big, brilliant plans to style me and had left me a long list of clothing pieces to bring, some a mix from our shopping trip and others items I already owned. She said she's leave my hair and makeup to me, but she'd be damned if I didn't let her approve of my outfit. "What if your mate's there! They have to see you at your best." She argued, her tone liltin

As if only minutes had passed since my eyes closed, they were welcomed again by the streaming of early morning light and the Alpha's voice calling out across the link, "Rise and shine, Theo! Time for your first day."I groaned as I rose from bed, not even bothering to dress as I strode out the front door and shifted immediately. I gently jogged into the treeline, letting Sage control my movements, my own mind still sluggish from the night prior. The morning dew was wet on our paws, the mud between the trees sticking as we walked gently through. I followed the link to the border where the breach had occurred the night before, where a few warriors and The Alpha stood. The huge wolf turned as I approached, and padded over to me lightly, the morning sun pricking at his fur."Good morning," I groaned through the mind link."Good morning, Theo, I know it was a rough night but I need you alert, understood?" The Alpha's commanding voice said. "Understood, I

Moments after his final breath left his body I could feel he was gone. The room began to feel cold and empty, it seemed smaller than it had been and I felt like I was suffocating in its walls. I held tightly to my mother, unmoving as I felt her sob, rubbing her back as she mourned. My own breath was trapped in my lungs, I focused on steadying it as we called for Kip, I stared forward as Kip announced the time of death and covered my dear friend's lifeless body in the thin, white hospital sheet. I clenched my jaw as Mom and I wordlessly gathered the items she'd brought in only moments before, and I did not shed a tear as we turned our backs from the body of our friend and walked out.I drove us home, mother still uncontrollably shaking in her grief. I welcomed the numbness in my limbs as I guided her into the house, running her a hot bath and readying her bed. I left a cup of tea on her nightstand and the softest pajamas she owned and sat unmoving in the dark kitchen, my eyes b

The next few days were a blur. Alpha Rhodes had kept to his promise, and hosted a beautiful candlelight ceremony honouring Mains in the library. Pack members old and new sipped at tea and guzzled down pastries and we laughed and told stories from all over the world. My mother's spirits had lifted greatly after this night, she went back to work and her step seemed lighter. We would be broken by Mains' passing for as long as I lived, but the pain was no longer searing my every movement. Alpha Rhodes had kept me off of patrol duty for the time being, letting me mourn and recoup as I needed. I knew I would eventually be called to serve, but the quiet for now had helped me heal immensely. Even Torrance offered me space, letting me come to her, and not overwhelming me in our visits. She knew I needed space to heal and grow, and she offered me that. It took me almost a week to muster up the courage to go back into the study. I knew Mains' cherry wood scent wound lin