Semua Bab Acrasia: Bab 31 - Bab 40

As expected, my mother was furious at my underhanded ways of getting Seraphine's forgiveness. Had I not pointed out Seraphine's suicidal tendencies lately she would have no doubt exposed me. Her father didn't even question me, and Axar was thrilled to have been spared trying to get back into her good graces. By luck, he gets a clean slate with her. I however, am once again working on my last chance she had given me.I slink back into our room. That sounds so nice. Ours. Our room. I toss my sweats off and crawl back into bed with Sera to wake her. I pull the blanket over my head and slide down to place kisses on her stomach. I slip my arms under her lower back as I continue to pepper her soft skin with kisses. In seconds there's a knee in my chin as a half conscious Seraphine attempts to sit up."Whaa!?" She wails. I chuckle. She kicks at me and I sit on her legs. "Get off! Why am I-are you?" She turns purple and pu

"Look at me, little lover." I'm not clueless to her hesitation or her internal conflict. She is cloaked in thick woven emotions as she finally relents and looks up to my eyes. I can read her mind. I know that she has finally decided it is better to be entranced and numb than to touch me in her own mind. She would back out, and she worries I would kill again. I would too. Just to show her that defiance has consequences.         I have all control, I should be happy, but I'm not fully thrilled. You see, she is here out of obligation. Her hero complex won't allow her to turn me down and risk others paying the price. This infuriates me. I want her to want me too. She was so willing to hold and touch Barima. Willing to room with her, but not me? After all I've invested in her. I could feel Barima's desire for her, and although I felt only kindred love from Seraphine, I can't stop my envy.        The

           I betrayed her. She was dying, I knew deep down there was no saving her. She was bleeding out, eviscerated. She wouldn't have made it long enough for me to try to intervene, but that doesn't make me feel any better. I feel that restless, empty feeling again, yet as empty as I feel I also feel heavy. Burdened. Like concrete or lead has settled in my chest. I hadn't realized I was crying. I have never cried, but my tears still fall onto Sera's face. I loved her. The only thing I've ever halfway loved, even if I was terrible at it. If we can bring Barima back, I will bring Sera. That was my intention when I had finished her off. "I want to be...happy. Content even. I don't want to suffer." She said. And I did not let her. I ended her quickly and I fed from the last of her energy, on her life source.         I scoop her up a

    It has been days now. Sera's mother gave us nothing when we summoned her. Only screaming and trying to fight Samael for failing her child. The child she never knew, yet wanted to supposedly sacrifice. With no other options, and with Sera's body needing to be laid to rest, we completed the preservation ritual to keep her from deteriorating until we can tether her to this body once again.          I am suffering, grieving, starving, and so impossibly guilty. I should have tried to heal her instead of finishing her, now I risk never finding her again. If I had a heart, it would be broken. Instead I am entirely broken. Her scent, her energy, her memory lingers in this house and it haunts me. It makes me delirious. Like a bee drawn to a beautiful flower, only to be blocked by a thin windowpane. I can smell her, see her in my mind's eye, feel her, but I simply cannot have her. I have not fed since I fed from her upon her de

         I rush to the church without hesitation. Axar lurches up and nearly trips over his legs trying to leap out of the car after me. I float over the steps and pound on the door. Once I decide they've taken too long to open it, I force the door open and step in. I close my eyes and sigh, taking in Seraphine's aura. I can feel her in this room. She was here! Is she still?           "Sir, may we ask that you not destroy church property?" An older man who's nearing baldness calls after me. A group follows him into my path. Another man cuts them off from the back as he stands before them gesturing them to stay where they are. He grabs his cross as he eyes me, shivering.         "Stay back. Might I ask what you are doing here?" I almost laugh at his poor attempt at bravery.         "How do you know what I am? I'm onl