I was hanging on by a damn thread to my emotions. I’m usually the one that is always in control of them. But when I lose that control… I’m a danger to others. This much I know. And my family, mostly my mother, knows it too. “Darius…” mom sighs, putting her hand on my shoulder. “Why don’t you go for a walk, get some fresh air.” she suggested.  I let out a breath running my hand through my hair. “Yeah… I’ll do that. Better than sitting here holding my breath, her dad lets us see her.” I nodded. “If you want, you can take my car and head home. If you see Elijah, you can take him with you. Your father and I will wait here till they discharge Forrest and bring him home.” she suggested.  “But…” I wanted to argue. “He’s not going to let you near her. At least not tonight, and visiting hours are over.” mom sighed. “She’s right. He’s a stubborn little shit.”

A week. A whole fucking week stuck in a hospital. They are supposed to remove my stitches today. So that’s a good thing. One step closer to getting out of here. Dad took an emergency leave from work to be with me. I really wish he’d spend more time at work and home rather than here. I feel so lost and confused. I got my new phone. They transferred my contacts, but I get an undeliverable message when I’ve tried to the boys or even Cassidy. Which means they blocked me since I know for a fact I didn’t block them. It makes no sense.  Why would they block me? Could they really blame me for the accident? But even then, what about Cassidy? She only tolerates the brothers because of me. She wouldn’t hate me for Forrest not being able to play basketball. She has beef with all jocks. So why was she avoiding me? And wh

I’d been so nervous after I got off the phone with the boys. I was finally going to see them. I was excited, but then I remembered how bad I look. I almost wish they weren’t coming. I don’t want them to see me like this. My hair is a complete mess with the one side being shaved, and I haven’t even gotten to take a shower. I feel gross.  There was just no stopping them. If there is one thing I have learned in my relationship with them, they don’t stop when they want something. Hell, the fact we have a relationship is proof of that. They decided they wanted me, and they got me. I never thought I’d fall for them so quickly. But if how depressed I’ve been without them indicates anything, it’s that I have fallen and hard. When they walked into my hospital room, it was like all the weight that was holding me down, and all those negative feelings just vanished

It had been so nice to hear Cassidy’s voice and to talk to her. I’ll have to ask her what is going on with her and Collin because that is certainly new. I wanted to thank Forrest for thinking of calling her. But I didn’t get that chance. My father ruined that. The nerve of him to show up and then to yell at everyone to leave. Who the hell does he think he is to forbid me from seeing my grandparents and my boyfriends. I just wanted him to leave. I wanted all this tension and hostility out of my room and out of my life.And then it all exploded. He hit Elijah! HE HIT ELIJAH!!! How dare he hit him! I know he’d gotten into a fight with Darius while I was in surgery, but well, I have seen Darius angry. He’s scary. I still remember that first day at school when he slammed Lance into the table and forced him to apologize for grabbin

This last week in the hospital was better. It would not take much to be better than my first week where I was in forced isolation. This week I had visitors every day. Mostly my grandparents and the boys. But Cassidy and some girls from school would come to visit. And then there was the fact my room suddenly felt like I was in a flower shop. I stopped counting how many bouquets I received. I got flowers, cards, and balloons from the baseball, basketball, and football teams. I didn’t expect that. I actually expected some of the basketball players to be angry because Forrest wasn’t able to play. Forrest, however, assured me that anyone upset that he couldn’t play wasn’t upset with me because it wasn’t my fault. He, of course, did add that if anyone ever implied or outright tried to blame me, he would happily beat them with