All my life I never really knew what was meant by true happiness. Matagal ko nang hindi naramdaman ang pakiramdam ng maging masaya. Mula noong itaboy kami ni Daddy at pinili ni Mommy na mamuhay ng malayo sa mga kamag-anak namin, hindi ko na rin alam ang pakiramdam. Pakiramdam na malayang nakakangiti at totoong kaligayahan sa puso.I admitted I caged my heart from seven years ago. Ikinulong ko ang sarili ko dahil pakiramdam ko kailangan. I made myself strong for the past years despite of the fact that I am really vulnerable. Kasama na roon ang ngumiti ng totoo. But now that Marcus was with me, I just couldn't explain the emotions that he brought to me. It was new yet it was also overwhelming. Sinungaling ako kung sasabihin kong hindi ako masaya. Sinungaling ako kapag sasabihin kong hindi ko gusto ang ginagawa nito sa akin."Ayos ka lang ba, Mansanas?"My thought got interrupted from Marcus' baritone voice. I instantly shift

Hindi ko alam kung paano ko pa nagawang maging matatag sa kabila ng lahat ng nangyari. Hindi ko alam kung paano ko nagawang patuloy na nakatayo kahit halos hindi na maproseso ng isip ko ang lahat. Hanggang narating namin ang presinto at ikinulong nila sa selda si Mommy, hindi ko pa rin halos maintindihan ang lahat.The truth was, I wanted to break down. I wanted to whipped and screamed my heart out for what was happening. Gusto kong awayin ang lahat at sabihing nagkakamali sila, ngunit sadyang pagod na ako. Pagod na ang puso ko sa lahat. Na kung may pagkakataon lamang ito mas gugustuhin na lamang nitong sumuko. Pero hindi maaari. Because I knew it was not the best option as of the moment."Ayos ka lang ba?" narinig kong wika ni Nylen sa aking tabi. Naramdaman ko rin ang mga kamay nito sa aking likod na marahang humahaplos doon."Hindi ko alam kung magiging maayos pa ako," mahinang sagot ko rito."Ano ka ba

"Are you okay, Apple? Kinakabahan ka ba?"Naagaw kaagad ang aking pansin nang magsalita si Attorney Kraius Montreal. Magkatabi kaming dalawa sa kotse nito habang binabaybay ang kahabaan ng EDSA. Hindi gaanong traffic kaya mas magaan ang pagpapatakbo nito. Mabilis nga iyon kumpara sa normal na araw ko kapag sasakay ng jeep. Gayunpaman, mararamdaman pa rin ang pag-iingat sa bawat kambyo at tapak nito sa preno."Ayos lang naman po ako. Medyo kinakabahan lang ng konti," sagot ko rito. Binalingan ko rin ito ng tingin at nakitang seryoso lamang ang mga mata nitong nakatuon sa harapan.Kraius chuckled beside me. Sinulyapan rin ako nito. "Masyado na ba akong matanda para i-po? Call me by my name, instead."Tumango ako kahit hindi na nito iyon nakikita. I even smiled a bit because what Mr. Montreal told me lessen my nervousness and uneasiness. Masyado rin itong madaldal at kung minsan masyadong gwapong-gwapo sa sar

I watched intently the neon lights as it played in my sight. The switching of its color every minute as it danced to the darkness of the night was indeed a good and wonderful scene of euphoria. It was sirene and peaceful. It was as if, could fade away all the pain and worry. Beautiful but also dangerous.Mall of Asia globe indeed had its own way to change a mood. As I looked around the place hundreds of people were looking at it too with a smile pasted on their lips. There eyes were beaming too, the way they looked at the big globe. They were obviously happy and in awe.While, I am only here. Didn’t even know what to do. Didn’t know what to say. Hindi ko rin alam kung saan ako pupunta. I seemed lost. Wrecked and broken. Mula pa kanina sa presento kasama si Mommy. At mas lalo pa itong nadagdagan nang marinig ko ang sinabi ni Mr. Aguirre. I am lost for words. I couldn’t even think straight. I even lau

Pagod man ako nang nagdaang gabi ay maaga pa rin akong nagising. Gusto ko pa sanang pumikit at matulog ngunit hindi na maaari. I could feel the sunlight reflecting on my face. Para bang ginigising ako nito. As if telling me to wake up and start my life. To keep living and be alive despite of every thing. Nang ibuka ko ng tuluyan ang mga mata ay hindi nga ako nabigo. The sunlight abruptly caught my sight and made my vision blurry. Pumikit muli ako at sinanay ang mga mata. Kapagkuwan ay nagpalit ako ng pwesto at nagmulat ng paningin.I felt relieve seeing no trace of Condrad from the other side of my bed. Alam ko naman kasing tumabi siya sa akin kagabi nang mahiga ako sa kama. He embraced me from behind and whispered sweet words but I couldn't afford to talk to him nor listen. His sweet nothings meant nothing to me too. Parang hangin lang na dumadaan sa dalawang tainga ko. Nasanay na rin ako kapag naglalambing ito sa akin at hayaan ito