Have you felt guilty about something? Like deep nerve wracking guilt about something you did that you know you can't tell anybody about even though it kills you having to stay silent about it?Up until the night of the the award show, that had never been the case for me but afterwards, after having Derris kiss and touch me the way he did, nothing ever really felt the same ever again.Max. He was the main reason for my guilt, the reason why I now found it hard to sleep at night. He'd done so much and after betraying him the way I did and then having to go back to pretend like nothing happened, well, it was killing me. Slowly until I was sure I would go crazy.I could have just broken up with him and ended things but I couldn't be sure which would hurt more: breaking up with him or telling him I cheated. And the absolute last thing I wanted to do was hurt Max.And then there was Derris. The very person who started this whole thing. To the surprise of no one

The next few days after the little incident at the dance studio were not the best and that's saying something considering how shitty my life has been lately. Max refused to talk to me or even acknowledge that I existed which basically confirmed that our “relationship” had ended. It didn't take long for this to be exposed and I went from being the most popular girl in school to being the biggest loser in school. After all, Max and I had only been together for less than a month so that basically proved everyone's assumption that we wouldn't last.No one knew the true story behind our breakup but they really didn't need to to start launching their attacks on me. Pranks, jokes, demeaning messages and notes... You name it. I got it all.It was all mostly from girls that were punishing me for even daring to think that I was good enough to date Max.All in all, I was handling it all pretty well until the most unexpected thing happened.I

I stepped out of the bathroom dressed in Derris' clothes which just like last time consisted of a black shirt and pants. Made me wonder what his closet looked like.The guy in question was seated on his bed out on his bed playing a soccer game on his PlayStation 5. Silently I sat beside him and watched him play. He didn't seem to take notice of me as he was engrossed in the game he was playing.When the final whistle was blown, he glanced at me and asked, "You play?""Nope. Never," I answered and shook my head."Well there's always a first time for everything," he said as he tossed me a second controller.I stared at the small device with all its buttons and controls, all of which were completely foreign to me and wondered what to do."Red, the game has started," Derris called causing me to look up at the game in question. I had no idea what I was doing and it showed. My dad watched soccer a few times so I had an idea what the game was about

[Allison's POV]"Janelle was Max's friend back when he lived in England. When he moved here, we became friends but he and Janelle continued to stay in touch. When we were about fourteen, Janelle came here to see him. Max was ecstatic and he confessed to me that he'd always had a crush on her and had plans to confess to her now that she was in the country. Then I slept with her.""Why?" I asked curiously."I don't know!" he groaned, running his hand through his hair. "It just kinda happened. One moment, we were watching a movie, the next, she was straddling and kissing me and things kinda went on from there.""How did Max find out then?""She told him. Apparently she thought we were an item and was excited about it but–""You had no intention of dating her. It was supposed to be a one time thing," I completely for him.He nodded. "Yup. Max was livid when Janelle told him and very cross with me but I was particularly moved. I stil

"What about you?" Derris piped up out of the blue."What about me?" I asked back."Well what happened to you? What's your story?""Well it's not all that complicated. My family was perfect. Then my siblings died in a car crash, my mom ran away afterwards and my dad took to the bottle. We used to be close but not anymore. There, you have it," I concluded, sounding a lot more chirpy about it than I actually was. Derris saw through it though. "You don't have to fake being okay around me, you know? I actually showed you my vulnerable side. You don't have to be afraid to do the same.""You're probably right but compared to you, what I went through seems a lot more trivial," I confessed what I was feeling."But it's not, is it? It's not you had it easy though. You mentioned you lost your siblings. That must not have been easy for you.""It wasn't." I shook my head."Tell me about them," he asked. I looked up at him since I wasn't expecting