PRESENT Elaine shut her eyes in anguish. Tears stung her eyes. With weakened knees she fell to the floor sitting, she felt her tightening chest as tears fell down from her already swollen, puffy eyes.The rogue fragments of unbearable memory she kept by herself all those years felt like it was still happening. And until now, she was hopelessly trying to escape.That night, Tan met an accident. He was rushed to the hospital and was in critical condition. But even if she died worrying and no matter how much she would’ve wanted to be by his side, it’s too late. During that time, she was in the police station already. She confessed to Bettina’s crime.Little by little, guilt lived in her heart. That wouldn’t have happened to Tan if not for her. She was in jail and all, still she brought her husband harm.She tried calling Tan every chance she gets, not just once or twice. But each time, she remembered a woman&rsquo

“Ma’am…”Elaine opened her eyes. Anne was in front of her with an uneven smile. She looked around her surrounding. She wasn’t in Tan’s rented house but inside Ainsdale. Tan wasn’t there as expected. So it was just a dream.“I was hesitant to wake you, but your phone keeps ringing. It might be important.”She moved. Locating the cell phone in the handbag.“Sorry, I must have dozed off. What time is it?” she asked while going through her bag.“I must have dozed off.”Elaine was surprised to hear herself say that. She never once felt sleepy while on the job.“Almost closing time, Ma’am. Seven o’clock.”She slept for almost half an hour. She was waiting for Tan for almost eight hours already. According to Drew, his husband would certainly ask her to eat out. But why until this time, he hasn’t shown

Elaine woke to the penetrating sunlight in Tan’s room. Her eyes opened wide when she realized the time. It was past nine in the morning, said the clock that was hanging on Tan’s bedroom wall.Her original plan was to wake up early so she could prepare breakfast for Tan. But as she was about to get up, she was stunned to find Tan’s huge hand around her shoulder.She looked up to Tan who was still sleeping. She took few deep breaths to calm the beating of her heart. This was her favourite sleeping position. Lying on Tan’s chest and clearly hearing his heart beating.For a long while, it was just last night when she truly felt peace, security and love again. She fell asleep fast and slept easy on his arms. After all the nightmares that passed and tested their life, she felt as if she just truly awakened last night.Carefully, she removed herself from Tan’s embrace. She sat by the side of the bed and watched him sleeping. She was

Elaine felt a slight tightening of her chest while her and Marco’s eyes were still holding each other in a gaze. She didn’t want to lose a friend but she also didn’t want him to keep hurting because of her.The fear and worry she heard from his voice a while ago, wasn’t just concern of a guy for a friend. She wasn’t that stupid not to feel that. And she was not selfish to make him hope only to be hurt in the end. Marco was a good person. He deserved someone who would love him wholeheartedly.Elaine swallowed the imaginary lump in her throat when Marco smiled and started to talk.“Whenever I see you sad, whenever I know you have a heavy burden, whenever you’re crying and hurting but you try to hide it, those were the times I wanted to take you away from your husband, Elaine. But on each of those times, I was a fool who keeps restraining myself because I know whatever I do, whatever I give up, no matter how I try to dry yo

Tan looked back at Elaine who’s catching her breath and leaning her hand on the tree he just passed by. He smiled when she looked at him. She waved and signalled for him to go ahead. But instead of doing so, he went back for her.Tan took the insulated water bottle from his bag’s side pocket, opened it and handed it to her. He took the back she was carrying. Elaine wanted to protest but she didn’t have the strength. She knew it wasn’t heavy because she made sure to put just a first aid kit, one hundred ml mineral water and some crackers in it before they started to climb.Tan hired a guide and porter to carry their bags and tents for them. Elaine brought a lot of stuff... From ready-to-eat food to sleeping gear. While he just brought a survival kit and first aid kit aside from clothes good for two days of camping.The climb was easy, he realized. They had to cross a somewhat deep river with big rocks a while ago but since the current wasn