บททั้งหมดของ It Started When It Ended: บทที่ 51 - บทที่ 60

I made my way outside and saw him sitting at the bench in front of Frances’ house, he immediately stood up and gave me a strawberry flavored ice cream. I raised my left eyebrow, “if you’re here to be mysterious and tell me a bunch of vague things, just leave already. I already called Patricia and asked her to fetch me here.” It was an obvious lie, I wouldn’t bother Patricia anymore. I am planning to end things here. Dadalhin ko na lang sa kamatayan ko lahat ng tanong na gumugulo sa akin, bahala na. “The kiss, it happened.” And just like that another series of questions were queued inside my mind. Ever wanted to hear something from someone but when they tell it straight to yourself, you couldn’t believe it? “The kiss. You’re not hallucinating. It’s not an imagination or an effect of the drug.” I definitely look weird right now. My hair is half-braid, I probably look like a Christmas tree with all the hair clips that Fana put on me, and my make-up – I did not see myself in a mirror

My voice echoed in every corner of the mansion. There were no other people except a few maids that were almost done cleaning up the mess from the party and some bodyguards. My mom immediately slapped me, “when did you even learn to say such things?!” She was fuming mad. I felt like my face went numb because of what she did but I endured it – I endured a bunch of things from her, this is just a small thing. And the numbness I am feeling right now is the same numbness I was feeling even before and I’ve only realized it now. I have the courage to stand in front of them and shout at them, maybe because of the alcohol or maybe because I’ve kept it for so long that it just piled up. And things that are piled up, like a volcano – would just erupt. You never know when, it would just all come out when it found a way out. I rolled my eyes, which made my mom even agitated. “What? You’re going to hit me again? Why don’t you start whipping me here for your damn discipline?!” I smirked at her. I

Most of the time I question God if He really exists. My family goes to church at least once a month – depending on what Sunday schedule my father wanted us to be at. I was introduced to a religion who worship one God – the mighty creator, the mighty being – who created everything in this world. Even though I tried to strengthen my faith and believe that He exists – there are so many times in my life that when I am in a very hard situation, I ask Him. I wanted Him to answer me and tell me why He let those things happen to me. I wanted to ask him if he created suffering as well and why do we have to experience such things just for the sake of Him. I wanna argue with Chris more but he has an answer to everything that I am saying. So I just gave up and shut my mouth. He was so optimistic. “Isn’t this a tourist destination?” We’re walking around, enjoying the place that was ours alone for the meantime. How can something be beautifully ruined? Chris was right when he said that no matter

Somehow somewhere, it’s wonderful to see something more than chaos. More than everything, this moment is something I did not expect. And to meet this man who claims that we know each other from childhood was unexpected. The warmth that he is giving me was intense, I couldn’t think straight anymore like when I was drunk. I know what I am doing, I know what we’re doing but I cannot stop myself because I am too drawn with the situation. All I wanted was to feel the sensation of having his lips next to mine. I want to feel the peace that he is trying to give me and I think – stupidly – that it will be channeled through this. Stupid as it may seem but people does something stupid for their gain. Even did the weirdest things. I wanted his hands to travel all over my body to feel the warmth of his hands against my skin. To feel and understand how I am loved even though I have scars, I wanted him to see how physically unsightly I am. I could feel the hard ground on my back as he laid me

All it took for my mother to die was one gunshot. One bullet, pierced straight to her heart. Maure trembled in fear, even I couldn’t move from what we heard – a gunshot. It was really loud and we’re implying that it was shot from here – inside the house. Maure started crying, she’s in panic and so am I. Her tight hold from me was loose, making me sit on the floor of the bathroom and feel like there’s blood on my hands. Just as when Maure decided to open the door and see what’s happening at the dining, we heard another gunshot. And another. I couldn’t take it anymore. I feel like whining. My heart was beating so fast. Although Maure was in fear, she kept on convincing me to leave – looking at the door and checking the window in the bathroom if we could use it to go outside as soon as we could. I couldn’t move. I was hugging my knees, feeling the cold floor of the bathroom as I sat on it. I wanted to move and get out of this place. Why am I getting this unwelcoming feeling at