Chris stopped talking. It’s almost midnight and we’re still outside, sitting on the set-up he made while I keenly listen to him. He told me almost everything. I cannot look at him the moment he said that it’s enough information for now and we have all the time we need to continue everything tomorrow. I agreed. Simply because I cannot put inside my mind all of the information that he said. I lost my thought from the moment that he told me how the hell he knew me. “Chris?” Still, I cannot look at him. “Hmm?” He just answered and continued cleaning up. I told him I would just want to rest here but he insisted that he would clean this up so we could use the mattress inside the cabin. “I’ll just sleep in the camper van, you can have the cabin all for yourself.” He didn’t say anything about what he just told me. He didn’t ask me if I did believe him or not. He is acting like he didn’t dropped a bomb right in front of me and then just left without looking back. Yet here I am, thinking abou

Chris has become a completely different person. He isn’t the same as before who would never hurt me. He used to console me when I felt weary. He used to be just there, sitting with me and admiring the silence between us. He used to be so nice and kind. But now. He won’t even let me go. He chained me. He spoke things to me and decided what would happen with my life. And I hate it. I hate that I cannot control this life of mine. I have no freedom to die with my own hands. “Why don’t we make a deal?” He said with an optimistic voice, “what deal?” His words used to be caring. He used to comfort me by calling my name a lot of times without saying anything further. Or maybe it’s all just pretend? Now I have admitted it. I have accepted that he became a part of my life. Hell, I even liked him so much to a point that I came with him. To my horror, he really is a man that is too good to be true. “Don’t get upset with me, please.” He tried to cup my face but I moved away. Damn these chai

I pushed Chris away from me. We’re not fine, I am just keeping up with him because I don’t want him to chain me again. I have to gain his trust so he won’t suspect all the things that I am doing. “Chris?” I stuttered, giving him a questioning look. “Shh,” he hushed me down and kissed my forehead. “What are you doing?” I am completely lost by what he did. “I’ll fight him and I will help you.” He said in a whisper that I almost did not hear. “What do you mean?” Then he just left me in the bathroom. He left me in complete awe. Confused. Lost. Bewildered. I touched my lips. We were on the train for half the day. Chris did not tell anything further about the thing that happened earlier. I sat on the chair and just admired the scenery outside, it’s windy since the windows were opened. It cleared my mind for a second but then I cannot help but to think about the bathroom scene with Chris. “I’ll fight him and I will help you.” I fell asleep and if it wasn’t for Chris, I might still

I have only realized how stupid it is. Masyado akong nadadala ng pagpapanggap na ‘to, I am letting my feelings out just because of this. What he said was effective – na kalimutan ko lahat, probably because I am tired of myself and he gave me something perceived as beautiful to look forward to. So here I am. Nagpapatangay sa agos, nagpapatangay sa kanya. Tapos babalik ulit sa dati kapag natauhan na. “What do you mean by that?” I acted as if I didn’t know what he meant. He laughed at me, “come on, you could confess to me when we ride on that,” he pointed his finger to the ferris wheel ride that has a seat for two, it is smaller than the usual ferris wheel. We sat down and he ensured that we could sit comfortably along with the metal that keeps us from falling. “Wait!” I exclaimed, umuga ‘yung upuan at sa tuwing kikilos ako, pakiramdam ko iikot din ng 360 degrees ‘yung inuupuan namin. I held his hand tightly – unconsciously. He gave me a reassuring smile, “it’s fine. Stay still.” Th

That was the worst thing that I’ve done starting from being locked in my own body. Out of all the things I tried – pushing and touching her firm and soft butt was the thing that I’ve never expected. I have touched a girl’s body – even had sex, but that one was too embarassing because she isn’t just any girl. As I’ve said, she’s my girl. I claimed her starting from the day that I saw her at the coffee shop. Because of that, I lost control. Once again I am just in front of the hologram television, watching their trip inside the cave. I lost control and I didn’t know how I did what I did but I did it. Too many did. What the hell. Her soft butt registered to my hands. Damn it! Inside the cave are glowworms. I got fascinated by it, it is just like party lights from the clubs except that it exists naturally. No one ever tried to make me go to adventures like these, different adventures are what the girls I met wanted. Adventure in bed. After that experience, I’ve never got to reac