"I have a traumatic childhood." Bigla akong nanigas sa kinatatayuan ko. Dahan-dahan akong lumingon at nakita siyang nagpupunas ng pawis gamit ang puting towel. "I have a traumatic childhood,” he repeated. “One that you wish you didn't experience at all... one that a child shouldn't experience... one that opens your eyes to reality... and one... that proves hell does exist," he said while slowly wiping the sweats on his arms. Nanghina ako sa mga sinabi niya. "Stop please. If you don't want to talk about it, please don't," I told him pero parang mas sinasabi ko sa sarili ko ‘yun. Dahil parang hinihiwa ang puso ko gamit ang matalim na sandata sa isipin na sa murang edad ay may naranasan na siyang hindi dapat. "Can you come here and wipe my back?" he asked like he didn't hear me at all.  His eyes turned emotionless. Or being defensive, I guess. I noticed that w

 I woke up with a sore body. Hindi ko mabilang kung nakailang round ba kami ni kagabi pero alam kong marami dahil knock out na ako ng matapos. I reached out for my shoulder and massaged it. I tilt my head sideways and rotated it for a bit.   A smile slowly creeped on my lips. Proud ako sa sarili ko dahil medyo nakakasabay na ako sa kanya pagdating sa kama. Kung minsan ay dalawa, tatlong putokan lupaypay na ako— ngayon ay nakakaya ko na hanggang lima. Magaling talagang guro si Kael.  Medyo nakakasabay lang dahil parang wala talagang kapaguran si Kael. Mukhang may balak yata akong patayin. Ayaw paawat hangga't hindi pa nakikitang halos malagutan na'ko ng hininga. Kung ano-ano ng posisyon ang nagagawa namin. And even if we do it the same way, with Kael, it will still be mind-blowing. His hands know what part of me should be rubbed and grazed, his lips mastered the art o

 Nagulat ako sa sinabi ni Tita pero sa huli ay ngumiti nalang.  I know. I am happy for myself, for us, too. In fact, hindi pa ako naging ganito kasaya. Tita Karina gently squeezed my arm. Nagkamustahan pa kami ng ilang sandali at nagpaalam na siya dahil kailangan niya pang i-welcome at i-entertain ang ibang bisita. Dumaragsa na din kasi ang iba’t-ibang socialite. I even saw few politicians. I sipped from my champagne glass and eyed Kael over the rim. He was talking with Ace and there’s an ease around his eyes. Bahagya siyang natawa sa sinabi ni Ace. Ayaw ko munang gumalaw. Ang sarap niyang titigan sa malayo.  Siya palagi ang nakaantabay sa akin, ang nakamanman sa bawat galaw ko. His eyes were always trained on me when I’m not looking. And even if I am, he was still there, gazing at me with soulful eyes. Ngayong ako ang nakamanman sa bawat galaw niya ay para ak

 Pagkatapos ng musika ay huminto din kami sa pagsayaw. Huminto pero hindi niya ako binitawan. We stayed like that. I would like to stay like that for days. Habang nadidinig ko ang tambol ng puso niya, damang-dama ko ang init ng kanyang palad habang hawak ko siya.  He was so near, so mine, I can’t find the will to let go. Pero lahat ng bagay ay may hangganan. Everything has its end. But even endings carry its own insignia of beauty, their purpose. And that is, every end is the start of new beginning. An end is the catalyst for a new start. An ending means a new hope was dawning. Endings bring changes. Changes can either be good or bad, but at the end we learn something. We attain morals from growing hope, to adopting to changes and welcoming the ending.  Hope change us. Changes change us. Endings change us.  Nasa sa atin kung anong daanan ang tata

 Pagbaba ko ng sasakyan ay agad sumilaw sa akin ang samu't-sari at napakaraming flash ng camera. Hindi sila makakalapit dahil may mga barikada at security na nakaantabay.  Inasahan ko ng maraming media ang nakaabang sa event na ito. It's the 10th anniversary of Dela Vega Industry. Pag-aari iyon ni Martin Dela Vega, ang bunsong anak ng Presidente ng Pilipinas. Bata pa lang si Martin ng sinumulan niya ang kompanyang ito kaya nakakabilib na malaki at malago na ito ngayon.  I never doubted him. I knew he’s something.  Nakaalalay sa likuran ko si Kael at ‘yung dalawang nagbantay sa akin noong nakaraan sa club. May tinik na nabunot sa akin ng nakita at nalaman kong hindi sila tinanggal ni Kael. Nga lang, lalo lang nanlamig ang pakikitungo ng mga security personnel ko sa akin pero ayos na iyon. They still have their job and that alone is enough. N