Two cart fulls and nearly four hours later, we were finally done. I got everything I needed to restock the house including some extras that Ezra pointed out he enjoyed and I was beyond exhausted. My legs ached and I had a headache forming and my back felt tight and stiff. We loaded everything into the trunk and back seat and Ezra put the carts away before returning and holding out his hands for my keys.“I will drive us back. You are exhausted and in pain. Sit and power nap if you can.” Before I could even open my mouth to argue there was a rush of air and then I was sitting in the passenger seat, buckled and Ezra was in the divers, keys in hand. I gaped at him, my mouth open and closing as I tried to form a coherent sentence. “I knew you would argue, so I saved us both time.” I scowled at him as he shrugged and began to drive out of the lot, a smirk on his lips.

The next morning I was rudely awoken by a bird who was using my balcony table as a drum, tapping his beak against it repeatedly. I groaned and lifted my head out from under my pillow, blindly reaching for the bedside clock and swearing loudly in exasperation as I saw the time was only 7:45 am. Being petty, I called the bird every vile name I could think of in my barely awake state as I rolled out of bed and stumbled across the floors till I got to the balcony doors. I hissed at the bird and closed the doors, huffing in annoyance as I turned and went back to the bed, flopping on it face first and burrowing under the pillow and blanket once again. I don’t do mornings. Especially not this early in the morning. I needed sleep, and since I was sleeping without scary dreams I was desperate to get back to it. My bladder however had other ideas. I whi

I walked into the room, tunnel vision making me focus solely on the woman who directed me to a couch across from her chair and coffee table. I sat down in the center, my leg jiggling the moment I sat. My breathing was still uneven and my heart pumping so loud in my ears I could barely hear what she had to say. After she repeated my name twice I took a deep shuddering breath in and let it out slowly through my nose to calm myself enough that I could speak.“Are you alright Miss Thompson?” she asked in a calm soothing voice, her eyes focused on me but no judgement on her face. I nodded but then shook my head, deciding honesty would be best for this.“Not really. I’m so terrified of being here, but I also know that it’s exactly where I need to be. I just don’t think I’m ready to deal with everything just yet.” she no

Over the next month, things were hectic, to say the least. It’s not like I was so busy I didn’t have time to do anything else, it was just hectic with every day being very different. On days I had therapy I would wake up relatively early and get some things done around the house, mostly so I wouldn't feel like it was a waste of a day. I’d then go to therapy, become an emotionally vulnerable mess, then go home and often sleep or cry and just need time. Ezra would wake me for dinner and then We’d train some more. Meditation still sucked but at least now he wasn’t making me sit on the stone-cold floor. We’d try different rooms in the house or even different areas outside in the grass still didn’t make a difference. Some days I’d be able to see James for a bit, he’d come over with Thatcher, we’d play with him outside, let him explore the house as James and I talked and just spent time together. The feelings w

We sat like that, me in his lap, his arms around me for a long time. It was getting late into the afternoon by the time he pulled away and all that time I ran my hand down his back and threw his hair to soothe and comfort him. Not a single word was spoken by either of us and Thatcher was sound asleep on the cushion with his hoard of toys around him. When James finally sighed and pulled his face out of my neck I looked at him and cupped his stubble-covered cheeks and wiped away a few tears with my thumbs. His blue eyes weren’t as bright and looked much more stressed and tired than I had ever seen them.  “You alright?” I asked softly, wincing at the stupid question. He gave me a soft smile and nodded, running his hand through his hair and sighing heavily.  “I’m…I’m alright. It just hit me harder this time than it ever has before.” He explained with a