I’ve had this sinking feeling about what Brant did, how he could have traumatized Cassidy to the point of the panic attacks I’ve witnessed. I’ve been dreading hearing the truth. I knew whatever it was, it would make me angry. But I was not prepared for how angry I got. Brant raped Cassidy. He tied her up, hit her, and took so much from her. And fuck, she’s so damn strong to keep fighting. To continue to stand against him and people like him. I want to find Brant and bash his brains in. That no justice was given for what he did. He got away with it because of his fucking daddy. The fact he’s still walking the streets, and fuck that he’s walking in general, astounds and angers me.  And of all this, what I can’t understand is James. He’s Cassidy’s brother, yet he hangs out with Brant and is his friend. Unless it’s an act and he’s just getting close enough to off the fucker without anyone thinking it was him, there’s no reason to be Brant’s friend. 

I seriously do not understand that woman. I know he’s her brother and whatever. But seriously, she needs to draw the line. She can’t keep letting him get away with treating her shitty and defending him from someone calling him on it.  “What’s up with you and Summers?” Forrest questioned as we got changed for gym. I wasn’t ready for this question. I’m not even sure how to answer it.  “Me and James? The kid just annoys me.” I shrugged. I rather doubt she would want me to say anything to him about us. I figured I was safer to answer based on the younger Summers than assuming Forrest meant Cassidy. Fuck are we even an us? Crap, I feel like a girl. Questioning if two kisses means we’re an item or not. I groaned, leaning my head into my locker.  How has this girl wholly blown up my game? I’m the one that lives girls guessing, not the other way around. I don’t like this yo-yo shit. I also do not like that whatever is going on b

I don’t know what the hell is going on with me today. I didn’t need to make that dig at Collin during gym class. I chose to dance with Forrest to keep away the vipers that wanted to prey on him. He’s claimed. And as Riko’s friend, I’m obligated to defend her territory.  But it wasn’t fair or pleasant of me to say what I did, at least with the level of snark I did. Collin is single, but I didn’t need to point it out so cruelly. I also didn’t need to be such a bitch about Jessica. I had to put a fake smile on my face as she told me she would ask him to the movies.  I have nothing against Jessica. She’s a nice person. But I wanted to punch her when she said she would ask him out. I’m usually all for girl power and encourage people to make the first move if they are comfortable. Her making a move on Collin was pushing my buttons. I love art. I at least had all of art class to just chill. And with Riko in class, it’s more fun.

I can’t believe Collin left me speechless twice in one day. There aren’t defined levels or words to accurately describe the level of embarrassment I’d have felt. I’m just glad that my mom didn’t walk out or that James didn’t come home to find us on the sofa like that. It was bad enough I was blushing after he left, telling me my glasses were hot. Thank god no one in my family saw me blushing. My moms wouldn’t let me live it down. And James… well, I don’t know what he’d think, but I wouldn’t want to hear his opinion.  I’m not sure why. Oh, who am I kidding? I know precisely why. But when I went to bed, I thought of Collin when using my vibrator. Usually, I think of someone like Tom Holland. Cute, safe, and never going to meet. Makes him perfect spank bank material.  Yet it was Collin’s face, his hands, and his dirty mouth that my mind conjured up. Usually, I’m relatively quiet about what I do in my bedroom. Not that my

I don’t think I’ve ever had so much fun shopping in my life as I did with Riko and her granny Yūri. That old lady is life goals. I don’t get why she’s not a more prominent fixture in Riko’s life.  I don’t think my moms could keep grandma and Abuela away from James and me if they wanted to. Like it would require restraining orders and threats of nuclear war. So what kind of shit has Mr. Shiraishi used to keep his in-laws out of the picture? And better question why would he want to keep them away from Riko? Riko obviously needs a female figurehead in her life since losing her mom. She needs someone that will teach her to be a strong independent woman. And Yūri is the woman for the job. It was fun hanging with Yūri while we embarrassed Riko, making her try on bras and all these cute clothes for her date tonight and keeping her date tomorrow in mind. But while Riko was trying on clothes, I couldn’t help but feel shitty. Here I am joining Riko