I watch her fade into the dark. I stop playing the game and follow her instead. At first, I had a brief feeling she was going to kiss me but I'm even more surprised to see the disgust on her face when her eyes found me.        I felt embarrassed in front of her even if she has no way of remembering this because of her drunkness. It struck me thinking that she would rather kiss him than me, but when she walked away and went into the dark, it reminded me somehow of what happened earlier when we arrived. It reminded me of the words I cannot take back from that moment. It reminded me of her running away from shame.       I need to make it up to her. I just have to. If I won't do anything, she will never be able to know how much a part of me regrets saying those words.  

[Play in the background as you read] Hide and Seek - Five Feet Apart Sountrack A D A M It's time to let her go. I'm going to leave her anyway. There's no use fighting my love for Naya. There's no use even if I tell her to wait for me in the future. Justin is there. I'm sure  Justin is going to give her the time that I can't give her.  I will go back home and follow the orders of my mother to marry the girl I am not in love with.  And it's okay.   After our moment in the library, when I saw Naya and Justin outside, I knew it. I knew she was kissing him back with no hesitation, so I walk away to prevent myself from punching Justin because I have no right to do that.  She likes him better than me. All I ever did w

NAYAI feel everyone is staring at us as I pull my lips from Adam. He's staring at me with shock hanging on his face, while I look over our classmates with a confused and diverted reaction on their faces.I don't like this. Nobody would want to be stared at. Or at least I don't like it this way. I feel the heat on my cheeks.I assume everyone would still want to continue the game but I march away from the crowd and head to the campsite. After a few minutes, I find myself sitting on the huge rock I was on when I ran away from Adam the other day. There's a dim light surrounding so everything is not pitch black around me. I listen to the crashing sound of the waves and the whirling whisper of the wind from the distance. I wish I didn't annoy Adam for kissing him without asking permission to do so. It was hard for me to swallow down the shame and forget it. But there could be a thousand thoughts running in his mind after that kiss. He wasn't hesitant but he wasn't also fully into it. I c

N A Y AMy tears are streaming down on my cheeks. My heart aches for pain. If I could just tear it out of my chest, I would. Detaching it would probably help lessen the wounded emotions I have felt. I feel so weak in my own skin. My bones are dry. I could barely open my eyes. I cannot lift my arms. Adam came to my rescue. It's making me feel embarrassed after all the avoidance we've been spreading out to each other or at least of me to him. Most of all, I feel betrayed. It's an intense emotion I couldn't grasp at this moment. I knew Chloe did it. She was the last person I was with. It must be her. But I can't bring it to Adam to know. I just can't for now. Knowing they have been getting along well, I can't afford to be the reason for him hating her. Having him here beside me, comforting me, giving me solace after all the messed-up states I've been in, he's here. I'm grateful. “Do you want to eat or something?” He asks. I've been holding onto the sleeve of his left shoulder. Digging

N A Y A“Thank you for coming here,” I tell Adam. We're still sitting and staring at the expressionless distance ahead of us. My head is on his chest while he's running his hand on mine. I'm only holding onto his other hand. “I will always come to you. I will always look for you just for your information.” He says. I can hear the sincerity and seriousness blend together in his voice. I look up at him and smile. He smiles back. “How did you know I was missing. Do you always have that curiosity about my where I could be?” “Honestly, I had a feeling something is wrong. It's not that I am always curious but that my guts are telling me to look for you. ” He explains. “I wanted to find you, Naya.”I don't know what to say to that. I thought he has all his attention on Chloe. I had never expected him to be here. I'm still processing it. “What if...” I stop. “Okay. Let's say I ran away. And I never wanted to be found. Would you still look for me?”He shrugs his shoulders. When I look down