Natigilan ako sa tanong niya. I see how his annoyed eyes turn soft and almost pleading. “Do you really want me to leave, MJ? I thought you didn’t want me to leave since you tried to de—” He stops what he’s about to say, but I get what it was. Since I tried to delete his lifework. And I am so guilty for doing such a thing. I don’t want to see him everyday only to be reminded of what I almost did. Guilt is eating me whole and I feel awful about it. He deserves to continue chasing his dream. I don’t want to be the cause of him regretting his choices. Natahimik kaming dalawa sa loob ng sasakyan. Walang nagsasalita ni isa hanggang sa makarating kami ng village ng mga Salazar. Nauna akong bumaba sa kaniya at sumunod lang siya. Dala-dala ng driver ang mga maleta namin papasok sa mansyon ng parents ko. “MJ...” I hear Dr. Ricaforter calls me. Huminga ako nang malalim at tumigil para balingan siya. Napansin ko sobrang lapit niya sa akin kaya ag

After that night of vising my parents, Dr. Ricaforte and I went straight back home to Manila. We didn’t talk the whole time of travel via plane. Agad akong nakatulog noon at paggising ko ay nasa airport na kami. Dr. Ricaforte woke me up but we didn’t talk after that as well. Hanggang sa makauwi ay hindi kami nag-usap na dalawa. And I don’t know if it’s because he thought I was mad at or upset with him. Wala rin naman akong sinabing dahilan nang matapos ako sa pag-iyak and he didn’t ask me anything anymore after that. Maybe he also felt that I wasn’t in the mood to say anything or to explain what I feel so instead of digging deeper into the matter, he just chose to understand and complied to what I wanted. The next nakipagkita ako kay Klaus at nalaman kong mas dumadalas ang pagkikita ng tiyuhin ko at ang secretary ni Zachariah Ricaforte. “What if he’s having an affair with Zachariah Ricaforte’s secretary?” tanong ko kay Klaus. “I also assumed t

“What are you doing here at this hour, Dr. Ricaforte? And how did you get inside?” My heart thumps inside my chest and I feel hot all over. But my heart remains cold and unnerving. I don’t understand why but maybe anger is swelling inside me again. “Kanina pa ako ritong mga 8 o’clock. I was waiting for you. Bukas pa ang building kanina at pinapasok ako ni Karylle sa office mo. She told me that it’s possible na bumalik ka pa rito kaya hinintay kita...” pagpapaliwanag niya. He waited for me? Since 8PM? It’s already past 11! He waited for over 3 hours! But I won’t get swayed by that! Ano naman ngayon kung ilang oras siyang naghintay? Wala akong pakialam kahit buong araw pa ‘yan! “Anong kailangan mo?” tanong ko at nilagpasan siya para makapasok ng opisina ko. I hear him follow me and closes the door behind us. Dumiretso ako sa office table ko at umupo sa swivel chair. I watch him walk towards me. Tumigil lang siya sa tapat ng table ko.

Dr. Ricaforte and I didn’t talk for a week after what happened in the restaurant with my cousin. I am mad at him and he’s mad at me, too, I guess. But I do not care because it seems that he also doesn’t care about what my cousin said or did. Ang paki niya lang ay basta mali ang ginawa ko. And I am completely aware of what I have done. But again, I’m not sorry that I did it. Mas malala pa ang sinabi niya kaysa sa ginawa ko. And she deserves what I did. Ilang araw siyang absent sa internship niya because of what happened. Pero hindi nakarating sa parents niya at kay Gil ang nangyari. And that’s because she knew perfectly well that her family is on my side. Dahil aware naman sila sa ugali ng bunso nila. At kung sasabihin niya ang nangyari ay papagalitan lang siya at pauuwiin sa Davao. I smirk as I continue my work. Pero nawala ang ngti ko nang maalalang hindi ko pa nga pala nabubuksan ang envelope na inabot sa akin ni Klaus. Nakalagay iyon sa safe vault ko sa ak

I go to my parents’house. It’s empty and I’m all alone but it calms me. Pagod akong umupo sa sofa ng salas at ipinikit ko ang mga mata ko. But as I close them, all I can remember is everything that happened a while ago. I shouted at him and I cursed at him. I was anger and devastated and I feel betrayed. Mali ba ‘ko? Valid ba ang mga ginawa at sinabi ko dahil lang sa nasasaktan ako at nangungulila sa mga magulang ko? That even after everything that I said and did, there’s a part of me that still want to go back there. To tell him that I’m sorry and that I won’t do it again nor will I say anything like that ever again. But what about me? What about my pain? Ako lang naman ang nakakaintindi sa sarili ko at sa sakit na nararamdaman ko. And it was enough for me. What changed this time? Why does it seem like I want him to understand me, too? To believe me and tell me that my feelings are valid. Pero alam ko rin naman na hindi ko maaaring hingin sa