“I’m... sorry,” sambit ko at tinanggal ang hawak niya sa kamay ko. Inangat niya ang mukha niya at tinignan ako. Nagmamakaawa ang mga mata niya. Why is he making me hope? This is so unfair. Mas lalong ayaw kong mag-stay rito dahil baka hindi ko na talaga mapigilan ang sarili ko at umasa na... na baka mahal niya rin ako. Even though, it’s as clear as the sun that he’s in love with someone else. MJ, he’s in love with someone else. I repeat it to myself to remind me of my place. Wala ako sa lugar para umasa. “I can’t stay here. I’m sorry, Dr. Ricaforte...” paglilinaw ko. He looks like he’s about to cry. Parang tambol na hinahataw ang puso ko at para rin itong pinipiga sa sobrang sakit. It’s making me hard to breathe. Ayaw kong ipahalata sa kaniya na nasasaktan ko. He shouldn’t know. He must not find out that I am in love with him. “Flight ko na bukas. My grandfather already sent me my ticket. I can’t defy him, Dr. Ricaforte. He ne

[ Flashback continues ]I did what I wanted. Hindi ako pumunta sa funeral ng mga magulang ko. I just know that their bodies have been cremated already yesterday. Ngayon ang funeral nila pero hindi ko gustong pumunta. Not because I don’t want to mourn their death, but because I don’t want to see everyone.Katulad ng sabi ni Lolo, ayaw kong makita ang buong pamilya namin. I feel empty and miserable pero hindi ko iyon gustong ipakita sa kanila dahil ayaw makita nila ako na mahina. Because I’m not that kind of person. At ayaw kong panghinaan ng loob.I am still planning to avenge my parents or at least seek justice for their death. I know they were killed and covered it up as an accident. I refused to tel that to the authorities because I don’t trust anyone of them. I couldn’t even tell my family about it because I know how convinced they were that what happened was indeed an accident.Halos pagabi na nang dumating ako roon pero

Umalis din naman siya agad matapos ang ilang minutong pananatili roon sa labas ng condo ko. I wasn’t sure what he meant by what he said. Gusto niya lang ako umuwi sa villa namin. He said that that house is my home... our home. And I told him that I never felt at home in that house, but I was lying. When I fell in love with him, that house instantly became home to me. I was at peace and I felt safe because I knew he’d be coming home to that house... to me. But that was before everything messed up. Someone broke into that house. It’s still my home, but I’m still scared. Kahit ang bahay ng parents ko ay hindi ako makapunta dahil sa takot na baka may nanonood ulit sa akin doon, nakabantay at kinukuhanan ako ng litrato. What I experienced and faced five months ago was alarming—traumatizing. I never felt secured and safe after such threatening events. And I’m still scared even though I already stopped investigating secretly. Because I feel like something is not yet

I still can’t believe that Dr. Ricaforte is in love with me. It feels surreal. At kahit gumaan nang kaunti ang nararamdaman ko, hindi ko pa rin puwedeng basta na lang isantabi kung ano ang dapat kong gawin. I still need him to sign the papers. Yes, I am a bit happy that he’s in love with me. Pero dahil sa mga nagawa kong mali, hindi ko kayang tuluyang maging masaya. Hindi mababago ng pag-amin niyang ‘yon ang mga dapat kong gawin. That’s I can’t be truly happy. Because I know I don’t deserve this happiness. I don’t... deserve this love no matter how much I want it. I open the door my condo and I immediately saw Dr. Ricaforte. He was just about to ring the doorbell. Bumuntong hininga ako. “Hey...” bati niya. I don’t greet him back. It has been weeks since he confessed to me at walang mintis ang pagdalaw niya rito sa tinutuluyan ko. Almost everyday. He’s always making sure that he won’t be called for urgent emergencies every time he’d visit me.

“Are you sure you don’t want to go back to U.S. for now?” Lolo asks me in the middle of our meeting. Nasa unahan si Gil at nage-explain ng naisip niyang project para sa launch ng jewelry shop under my company. Lahat naman ay nakikinig maliban sa aking Lolo na puro tanong nang tanong sa akin tungkol sa pag-uwi ko sa States. “I still have things to do here, Lolo. Isa pa, nandoon naman si Hanz and he was already doing a great job kahit wala pa ako roon. I just helped him a little...” “If I must remind you, mija. Your help wasn’t just a little. The projects you came up with during your stay there were absolute perfection. I am thinking of giving you one of my company’s major branches and see if you can double and triple its profit...” I roll my eyes at him before I speak up. “Stop making me go back there, Lolo. You’re only going to use me anyway, might as well just stay here and continue to manage my own company...” sambit ko. Tumikhim si Lolo at