“Remember where you’ve been to see how far you’ve come,” I mumbled to myself, pushing the psych paper aside. “Yeah alright, Gramps. Fuckin’ helps if you’ve actually got somewhere, though, doesn’t it?”I pushed the heels of my hands into my eyes, rubbing harshly. Hear something enough and it’ll be burned into your body, scarring your skin and tattooing itself in your mind. It didn’t matter how long ago the words were said. It just mattered that they were.Thirteen years and I didn’t feel like I had got anywhere. So what if I was not the scared little boy in the corner anymore? He was still inside. He was still afraid, still shivering. He was still bruised, he was still broken, and he was still beaten.Just because I appeared not to give a fuck didn’t mean I actually didn’t. Not everyone was what they seemed, and I was one of those people. I didn’t even know who I was, because I spent so much time fighting against who I didn’t want to be. I had no time to be who I wanted to be. I had no

Seeing her with another guy – no matter how innocent or friendly it was – put a part of my brain into overdrive that was only ever roared to life for me. The need to grab her arm, drag her out of that diner, and pin her against the wall while I kissed her senseless almost took over. The need to protect her from every other ass in this town, hell, in the state, was almost our undoing.It was something no one would understand. For the first time in my life I had started to let someone in, let them be there, all while taking what they had to offer. And that was the problem. I was taking from Maggie but I was not giving back to her – I was not giving her what she deserved, yet, somehow, she knew exactly what I seem to need. All the time.For the first time in my life I had let myself feel something other than the things that fuck up my mind. I had let her in. The one girl I knew could undo me with a simple smile or one glance into those little blue eyes – and she did. Every single time, s

“Risky,” I muttered.“And being seen in a car with you isn’t?” he shot back, amused.I produced my glasses from under my jacket and slipped them on. “See? I’m in disguise.”“You still look like you.” He grinned as he pulled out. “We’re not passing campus, anyway. It’s still early, so I doubt many people will be about.”“You say that. If I was Pinocchio, my nose would be about ten foot long I’ve told so many lies this morning.”“Who to?” He glanced at me.“Carl and Mark, then Kayle,” I grumbled. “Carl and Mark think I’d slipped in to grab a book from Jack’s room, and Kayle thinks I was with a guy all night.”“Which is right. But she doesn’t know?”“No. She doesn’t know. I slammed my door in her face.”“She won’t let that go.”“I know. But I have time to make a decent excuse as to why I can’t tell her who I was with.”He sighed. “You know she’s gonna tell Leila and Sandra, and they’ll be on your case, right?”I tucked my hair behind my ear and chewed on my thumbnail. “I know,” I mumbled

And we were back to it.Another day of lies. Another day of pretending. Another day of wishful glances, discreet smiles, and banter with an underlying meaning only we understood.Another day I had to remind myself that we choose this. We choose to be secret and not tell Jack. I was just not sure how much longer we could keep it this way. Someone will find out eventually no matter how careful we are.Hell, Kayle and Leila were already halfway there.“Just tell me who,” Leila begged me. “I won’t tell anyone, I swear.”“It’s not a big deal. It was just one night. You guys are always telling me I need to get some, and I have, so leave it at that.”“You’re kiddin’ me!” Kayle exclaimed. “I want the details!”“Maybe I don’t want to give you the details.”“Maybe I can keep buggin’ the shit out of you until you give them to me.”“Maybe I still won’t give you the details.” I shook my head. “Seriously, you guys, I’m not giving you what you want.”Sandra grinned. “Stubborn.”“No, just private.” I

My mouth dropped open, not from what he said, but because he threw it out so carelessly in front of the others – especially Jack.Austin grinned and winked at me. He turned, stretching his arms over his head as he walked in the direction of the house. I watched him go, strucked into silence, and ignored Leila’s gaze burning into the side of my head.“His last offer?” Jack said tightly, his eyes resting on me.“He offered to teach me the difference between a slapped ass and a spanked one,” I muttered. “He’s a prick.”“Caveman. Rein it in,” Sandra ordered, tapping his cheek and standing up.“In,” he muttered in response.“Good. Keep it that way.” She kissed his cheek, and Josh and Leila stood.“I’ll see you after class, Maggie.” Leila looked at me pointedly, and I nodded. Yep. I was so in for tonight.We sat in silence as the others disappeared, and I stared into the distance. It was the first time I’ve been alone with Jack since me and Austin got together, and for the first time in my