“I remember finding her. Her parents were out of town on business, and her Mom hadn't heard from her so she asked me to check on her. I went.” My hands shook, and my voice was flat, my body numb to the emotions as the night I discovered her played in my mind.“Abby? Abby, are you in there?” I had knocked on the door frantically. “I'll break in if I have to! C'mon, Abs, your mom is worried about you.”Nothing. She didn't reply. I banged harder. “You have five seconds to reply or I'm coming in!”I counted in my head using the Mississippi numbers. One Mississippi. Two Mississippi. Three Mississippi... We might not have talked in a month, but she was still my best friend.“Okay, I'm coming in!” I warned one last time and stepped back, kicking the lock on the door a few times. The wood splintered, and I held it open. I stopped dead at the sight before me.Abby was lying in the bath fully clothed, the tub half full with her arm hanging over the side. Blood dripped from numerous lines and sc

The Kambaya party bar was tiki. Maybe Hawaiian. Personally, I always thought they were the same – and maybe they are.Or maybe that was the wine already clouding my vision, so perhaps the margarita Maggie just handed me wasn't a smart idea. I had drunk it anyway because these girls had successfully corrupted me from the good girl I was a few weeks ago, to the semi-bad girl I am now.I said semi-bad because I hadn't had sex yet. Glancing up at Jack next to me, I thought I might have to remedy that night. Then we will have a pretty little New York Sandra and California Sandra with a dash of Jack Sandra all rolled into one.What a delightful little package that'll be.I accepted Leila's hand when she held it out to me to dance. My thoughts were getting morbid, and I wouldn't let my past ruin this weekend for Jack. He deserved a good birthday.Servers danced between tables, swaying their hips and the flair bartenders threw cocktails shakers around. If I was ten years younger, I'd absolute

The urge to rip down the multicolored poster on the wall was almost stifling. It felt.... wrong.... to have it up there. Especially since it should be coming down anyway. After all....Challenge complete.I was pretty sure he was in love with me, and we definitely had sex. Very good sex. Done. I should be laughing with the girls, drinking a celebratory bottle of whatever we wanted and remembering all the times. Instead, I was remembering every touch of his skin on mine, every whispered word and how he held me so closely, how he looked at me as if I was the only girl in the world.To him, I could be.The problem.... He was pretty much the only guy in the world. And I never planned on that, so I was pretty screwed.I never planned on him being so different to Patrick. I never planned on everything I thought I knew about him, all my pre-conceived notions about how he should act being stripped away and leaving him completely bare like a blank canvas. He took that blank canvas and painted

I relaxed back on the bed a little. For the first time in months, I felt like I could actually let go.Patrick had left California – I didn't need to be a mind-reader, but he had no reason to stay here. I made it clear that he wasn't getting any help from me anymore. I had my own life to think about now, my own growing up to do. I couldn't be the grown up for both of us anymore.And judging by the still-untitled essay on the page in front of me, I had a long way to go on the growing up scale. But life was like an essay: you just have to find the right words to put it together.Someone knocked at the door quietly. I frowned and looked at Maggie. She shrugged a shoulder and focused back on her school work. I moved my books over and slid off the bed, wondering who it could be. Leila would walk right in and Kayle... Well, it was no surprise we had no idea where she was.Jack's bright blue eyes crashed into mine when I opened the door. Shit shit shit shit!“What are you doing here?” I hiss

I hadn't seen him for five days. I hadn't been to English because I was not ready to see him. The pain without him was bad enough. That all-encompassing loneliness. I didn't realize how much he took away the pain until.... Until he stopped being there to take it from me. I thought seeing him now would make it impossible. It was bad enough in my other classes – snide, triumphant looks from other girls, appreciative glances from the guys – all because I was not his anymore. All because it went the way everyone always thought it would. I never imagined it'd hurt so much. But Jack was right. I got what I wanted – what I originally wanted. Right now, I'd like nothing more than to have him wrap his arms around me and kiss the corners of my eyes, like he always used to whenever I was upset. But it was not like that anymore. I held my books tighter to my chest and ducked my head, hiding behind my hair. I'd dealt with pain before. I had suffered loss and heartbreak, I could do it again. It