I was pulled from a rare and happy dream – one where I was safe and loved – back into a nightmare that won’t seem to end. In the real world, I’m not safe, instead, I’m beaten and bruised and the person who loves me is gone. But if he was here would he even want me back now that I’m tainted? I feel dirty and disgusting; used and abused. How could Chris ever want to be with me now? Knowing what I let happen. How could I ever look into his hazel-green eyes knowing the betrayal he must have felt? Maybe he’ll only come to find me so he can reject me. I wouldn’t blame him. Opening my eyes I take in the room around me. It’s small but cosy, and the bed feels very luxurious. Wait, who put me in it this bed? I quickly sit up as the room starts to spin, my breath comes in hard and fast and yet I don’t feel like I’m getting any air at all. I can’t breathe. I clutch my chest as the ache inside it only increases. Someone suddenly rushes into the room and on instinct, I back up into the corner t

I’ve just busted through my third boxing bag. I wasn’t exactly keeping it together before, but I am man enough to admit I’m a thousand times worse now. I finally felt our bond again, and more than that, I was able to link Mei. I know she heard me because I was pushing into her mind and could hear her thoughts and they shattered my heart into little, tiny pieces. I could feel her having a panic attack – the worst one to date – and I was doing my best to calm and coach her from where I was. I felt her relief and happiness when she heard my voice, but it didn’t last long. Her panic only seemed to escalate and soon she was drowning in guilt and shame and then for the first time since we marked each other, she shut me out. Axel was in shock and hasn’t spoken a word since. I admit it hurt; it hurt really fucking badly. To be cut off from her for so long only to have her choose to be cut off, it’s an unbearable feeling. That being said, I know why she did it and that just stings the open b

No one attempts to stop me as I sprint into the packhouse at top speed, following the pull of my bond to Mei. I’m weaving around people, twisting, and turning down corridors and up numerous stairs; the pull getting stronger the further I go. Soon Mei’s sweet, fruity yet floral, plum blossom scent is invading my senses in a heady caress, and I know I’m close. I stop in front of a large door and every cell in my body is screaming that Mei is on the other side of the door. Axel can’t contain himself, and neither can I, but with great effort, I will myself to calm down. I can feel and scent her just on the other side, I can hear her breathing and her heartbeat picking up speed, and I have to tap down my instinct to slam the door open and take her in my arms. I take in a long deep breath and gently knock on the door. I’ve never been so nervous in my whole entire life. “Mei, it’s Chris, please let me in.” My voice is so shaky it’s bordering on a stutter. I hear her heart kick up a gear, b

Chris and I walk hand and hand to the ‘throne room’, and I can feel my armpits sweating with each step I take. I want to see my friends, but I’m also extremely nervous. “I’m right here the whole time. If it gets too much ju–” “Just let you know and we’re out of there,” I say cheekily. “I remember the drill,” I smile up at him. He gives me a loving smile in return and kisses the back of my hand sending electricity up my arm. “If I’m being too much, tell me.” I shake my head, “No. This is exactly what I need. Thank you,” I say earnestly as I squeeze his large hand between both my small ones. 'I tried to tell him we weren’t being too much,' says Axel in my mind. 'You said absolutely no such thing. You were telling me to turn around and take her back for more snuggling, you big furry liar,' Chris chastises Axel. 'Tattletale,' Axel grumbles, and after what feels like years, I laugh. Hearing their silly bickering has me giggling again like it always used to and immediately I feel the

There’s only one other door in here, and I really hope it’s a bathroom. I walk over to the door to the right, peek my head in and to my relief, it’s a bathroom. It’s small with brown wood lining the walls and floor. It looks more like a sauna. Even the tub is above ground with brown wood panelling around it. But who really cares? A bath is a bath. I get to work running the water. I find some shampoo, conditioner and body wash and line them up along the edge of the tub. I take a look around as the tub fills up and grab some towels, also placing them on the edge of the tub, and then I manage to find a bathrobe, but it’s not the robe I’m after. I grab the tie from around the robe and yank it off. This is going to have to do. Once the tub is filled enough, I turn off the tap. Here goes nothing. I take the tie from the robe and tie it tight around my eyes, instantly plunging myself into darkness. Time to let my other senses do the work for me. This must be what life is like for Yildiz, c