“I know you too well,” she said, trying to sound triumphant. But there was something behind the tone in her voice that told me she was sad for some reason.“What do you usually watch, then? Don’t tell me you’re one of those people who hates porn, because I don’t believe that for a second.”“Of course not,” she giggled, and blushed.“I watch movies and sometimes DIY videos on YouTube about how to upcycle old clothes and furniture.”“Hah. Interesting.”I honestly had no idea she was the creative type. She always seemed so superficial. The topics didn’t interest me at all, but still...“What kind of movies do you like?”“You know, the usual girlie stuff. Romcoms and musicals.”I groaned. Of course she did. I already knew she had a pink bedspread with a flower-patterned throw, and a ton of fluffy pillows.“And you? Let me guess; action and thrillers?”“Well... Close. Thrillers and horror movies. And I like documentaries.”“God, those are so lame,” she huffed, and I laughed. I didn’t know

“You’re comparing him to me?” I asked gruffly. I felt confused.“You shouldn’t do...”“I know, but I do!” she cut in.“I try not to, but ever since...”“Nothing happened,” I said, but she shook her head and kept our eyes locked.“It did! And I can’t stop thinking about it, Joe! I can’t stop remembering how it felt and how good you made me feel. I can’t...”I hated myself. I had fucked up again. Majorly. And like usual it was always the ones around me that had to pay the price, because I didn’t give a shit. I didn’t care about anything. Until now. Now I suddenly cared a lot.“All the things you whispered... Did you mean any of it?”Yes, you did. But you can’t tell her that. She has to move on with her life and let everything return to the way it was before. She will have a happy marriage with my son, and they would have kids and she would be the best mother...“Did you mean it?!” she yelled, and I snapped back from a second long daydream where I envisioned her smiling and gorgeous, wit

“A real, drenched and tight pussy, wrapped around my cock.”I didn’t really care how she looked, as long as I managed to make her scream. If she annoyed me either visually or verbally, I could just use the gag and the blindfold, or maybe even the mask. That made it easier to pretend it was someone else. Someone in particular. Someone who I spent most of my days trying to forget.Yes, BDSM was a savior. As long as I was the one in charge of the ropes, of course.“Gray? Wanna hang out for a beer?”I heard him chuckle at the other end of the line, and I glared at my phone.“You finally crawled out of hibernation?”“What’s so funny?” I grumbled.“Nothing. Just that I’d never thought you’d last a whole week without mounting someone.”“It’s actually been longer than that.”Then I frowned when didn’t remember exactly when I had sex. I only remembered the kiss.“Since sometimes before the wedding,” I mumbled, and Gray hummed knowingly.“You know, I’m actually impressed. She has a good grip on

“You’re getting old,” I mumbled to myself, after staring at my own reflection in a window. No decoration or Christmas song seemed to be able to lift my gloomy mood, which seemed to grow stronger the closer I got to my apartment. My empty apartment. The place that had always been my castle of solitude and a much-needed place to hide from the world. Now it was just... Empty.Maybe I should continue going to therapy after all. Only this time as treatment for depression.The stairs had never felt steeper than when I walked up the three floors to my apartment, but I didn’t want to take the elevator because it went too fast for my liking. At least on the days it was working. I wanted to prolong the time it took to get to my door. Or, if I was completely honest, I didn’t really want to go home at all. And I was just about to turn and head out again, when I heard sounds I thought I recognized.Nah, that couldn’t be.“...you idiot! That was all the sugar that was left. You better get your ass

We cleaned up, first ourselves and then the mess we’d made, and the more time that went by, the more silent Catherine became. Eventually, I just had to ask.“Do you regret it?”For a long time she didn’t say anything. She just finished the gingerbread men with the expertise of a professional baker, while wearing an undefined expression that was punctuated by a deep frown on her forehead. My heart sank when she nodded.“I’m sorry,” I said, but I wasn’t quite sure if I was. Except for Allison, all I’d ever wanted from women was a quick fuck and then move on to the next. But for some reason I couldn’t picture Catherine in the role of friends with benefits, like Allison. That would be directly mean to her. I mean, when this obviously made her feel horrible, I couldn’t accept being the reason.“I’m sorry,” I said again, and meant it this time. Even though I wanted so much more, I didn’t want to hurt her more than I already had. I hated the idea of this falling into the category of one-ni