All Chapters of How To Forgive - Feisty Series (5 of 5): Chapter 1 - Chapter 10
25 Chapters
1 - Material Girl
~Holly’s Point of View~~Twenty Five Years Ago, Suburbs of Portland, Oregon~I can’t believe mom forgot to get me from school … again. I know she’s got a lot on her plate but come on! Trudging down the sidewalk with my heavy backpack weighing me down, I tried to avoid the mud puddles. Thankfully by the time school ended the rain had quit but it had been pouring ALL day. Now I had nearly a two mile walk home and it was chilly. And muddy, there weren’t exactly sidewalks along the entire way.My mom was a night shift nurse at the hospital so I rarely saw her except when she picked me up from school. She worked seven at night to seven in the morning but often went in early. The fact that she didn’t show meant she either got doing something else or didn’t set her alarm.I’d thought about going into the office and calling home but if she needed to sleep that badly I guessed I should leave her alone.It just made my already bad day worse. First dad was late dropping me off, then we had a po
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2 - Living In The Past
~Slade’s Point of View~~Present Day~“I don’t want you wasting time on your honeymoon worrying about my problems,” I said, to one of my best friends.The drummer in the band I had managed for the last fifteen years was newly married and he should be face first in his wife’s thighs instead of talking to me.The band and I were close, beyond close. We were brothers and we’d all been through hell and back together. I’d do anything for any one of them and I knew they all felt the same about me. True friendship, brotherhood, is something you can’t buy. Loyalty.While I was rich with those around me who cared and loved me, there was certainly a massive void in my life I didn’t know how to fill.“Look Slade you can’t fuck around. But you can’t be like a stalker either. Holly is right there, she’s right there bro. I’ve been talking to the wife about this and we agree,” Lukas said.I rolled my eyes as I heard a shuffle.“Slade, you need to give her what you failed to give her all those years
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3 - Can't Buy Me Love
~Holly’s Point of View~“You’ve been on that video game all day,” I snapped, blowing my bangs out of my face.“I’m just getting your money’s worth,” Chase said, laughing.This kid.He’s way too smart for his age, way too far ahead of his time. He needs to slow down. He knows since we lost his dad I’ve pretty much let him do whatever he wants, though he usually doesn’t take advantage of that. I don’t have the heart to tell him no to anything.As I struggled to get more out of the fridge than I knew I should, my fingers seemed to stop working.“Damn it,” I whined, looking at the carton of eggs on the floor. I put everything else down and grabbed a roll of paper towels. But before I could even squat down I felt arms around me.“Mom, you’ve been off for a couple days. Like a space cadet off … floating without gravity. What’s up,” Chase said, resting his head on my shoulder. I couldn’t believe my flipping 13 year old was as tall as me already. I am only 5’5 but still. “Can’t hide anythi
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4 - Hotline Bling
~Slade’s Point of View~ It had absolutely killed me not to pay for Holly’s dinner, nearly killed me. Natasha’s words rang in my brain and told me not to. Don’t step into her life waving your money in her face. That’s not the way to do it. I was so damn messed up over seeing her I ended up giving the counter guy $300 for a $42 bag of food and telling him to keep the change. Her son was handsome and polite, clearly amused with the little exchange too. Which means he’s probably more mature than his years. He wasn’t defensive though, he wasn’t throwing me shade or irritated. I felt that was good, if there could be any good at any rate. It stabbed a bit when she called me an old friend, but really what would she say? I supposed it was better than saying “someone I used to know” or “some asshole” from high school. I had to get out of my head, I really should get back to California. But I just can’t. Running into her tonight was a complete fluke, I hadn’t even been following her aroun
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5 - Secrets
~Holly’s Point of View~What the fuck was I thinking getting naked in my ex-boyfriend’s pool?? Ugh. What if there are cameras?? Friggin’ idiot Holly. Not to mention leading him on. He … doesn’t even … live here!Like it matters! I’m not getting back with Slade!Thankfully he was a perfect gentleman when it was time to get out, he brought me a nice soft robe and didn’t even peek. I don’t think.Of course I’m self conscious of my body, I’m no spring chicken. My boobs thankfully lasted pretty well over the years, I’m not a sagging granny yet but I definitely have a bit of a muffin top, cellulite on my ass. Years of running my ass off at the hospital but eating like a dump truck. Damn hospital fries and chicken tenders being so good are my downfall.I was stupid to think he cared about my imperfections, he clearly didn’t. But knowing the kinds of women he’s probably been with and could have with a simple phone call if he wanted … yeah it made me self conscious.Slade should absolutely be
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6 - Selfish Love
~Slade’s Point of View~ ~Fifteen Years Ago~ “Baby I can hardly hear you, the band just went on,” I shouted, irritated. She’d been calling all night, I had no clue what time it even was back at home and I was sure she was just missing me. She’s probably blown through the phone cards I’d left her. I missed the hell out of her but with everything going on and trying to keep the guys together and straight I barely had time to remember to piss. Holly knows what tonight means to me. To the band. We’re on a fucking worldwide tour, five guys from podunk nowhere Oregon currently on a stage in Austrailia in front of fifty thousand people. That shit just doesn’t happen everyday. My mind flashed to the marquee outside: TONIGHT ONLY: FEISTY - SOLD OUT Seeing that on the way in gave me a hard on like I’d never felt. I was 18 fucking years old and managing one of the hottest bands on earth. I got them a record deal like nobody gets, even bands that have been around a long time and sold million
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7 - Flava In Ya Ear
~Holly’s Point of View~ “Really I can just get an Uber, that’s how I got here,” I said, as I fumbled to get my sneakers on. I had already seen a text from Chase asking if he could stay another night with his cousin, apparently they were doing a two day horror movie marathon. I used to be uptight about him watching that stuff but he thinks it's so funny and actually spends the whole time dissecting why it's all fake. My in-laws are also the sweetest people you could ever want to meet. Much like Gene and I, they were only able to have one child and it's always meant so much to us that Chase and Dylan basically grew up as brothers. Also, in my book, if he had a strong male friend to occupy his time he wasn’t chasing girls that much. Really, he rarely showed much of an interest. His life right now was baseball and I was more than fine with that. “Holly, just let me take you. It’ll be weird but cool to see Mama Anderson’s place again,” he said, shaking his head. “Yeah well, the only t
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8 - Cryin'
~Slade’s Point of View~ Holly finally caved and agreed to let me take her home. I was absolutely ready to come apart. There were a few times today I nearly broke down and cried, just ready to get on my knees and beg her to take me back. Having her in my arms again, breathing her in and telling myself she could actually be mine was too much. But I was never that guy to her. That’s not the guy she wants. She responds to my confidence, always has and even now I feel I can read her like a book. I know what she needs to hear and how. Sometimes it’s not talking, it’s touching. Holly is an extremely physical person, well she used to be. Even with the guys she would have her arm on somebody, be leaning. She had no problem sitting in someone’s lap or opening her arms if they were even slightly sad. She was like the mother hen of the band and maybe when we lost her … that’s when the guys really spiraled. I couldn’t keep them together anymore, and that’s when I hired Angie to run PR. She was
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9 - Bittersweet Symphony
~Holly’s Point of View~ Slade always used to say I had a poker face that drove him nuts, he never could quite tell what I was thinking. What he was always thinking … was pretty obvious. Thinking with only one part of his body as a teenager with a girlfriend. But now he’s so different. It’s like he’s walking on eggshells with me, and maybe he is. It seems like he says just as much as he needs to, no more … no less. He’s carefully choosing what he says and I don’t like that one bit. We used to have conversations that lasted hours, just about anything and everything. Mostly … our dreams. We both wanted three kids, and two dogs. We both wanted to feel validated in our careers, to feel like we were doing something important and that mattered. It was obvious to us both pretty early on though that college wasn’t in our world view. The idea of extending high school sounded like absolute torture. If my mom hadn’t absolutely pushed me into nursing school I have no clue what I would have ended
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10 - Hand of Fate
~Slade’s Point of View~ Part of my brain was screaming that I had Holly right where I wanted her. That somehow, through some hole in the time space continuum of the universe she was back in my arms and she wanted to be there. She looked happy. But I knew damn well whatever she was feeling was just new, exciting. We were practically bathing in nostalgia, in the good times we had. I felt like we were both healing, we were both getting the closure on it that we needed. I just didn’t know if it was enough to propel us forward and not just close this door behind us. I knew her son would be a massive part of our story, if there would be one. She’s incredibly close to him, and likely wouldn’t leave Oregon if he didn’t want to. As we got dressed I couldn’t help but feel like this was a one off. Like this was just us physically needing to get it out of our systems. I couldn’t let that be. She’d just hooked her bra and began searching for her pants when I pulled her into my arms. I gently
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