51"What happened?" Bella asked weakly as Maddix finally left. Seji is watching me; she's just quiet. Alam ko na nagtataka at nagugulat na siya, but I'm thankful that she didn't ask anything right now.Napatitig ako sa dinaan ni Maddix sa pag-alis niya. Seryoso ba siya? Mariin ang kagat ko sa labi at malalim na bumuntong hininga. Shempre, Aliyah. Seryoso siya!They were in a boutique, and Maddix took me there. After that, Maddix didn't talk anymore; he didn't even glance. I want to cry. That's what I want, na mawalan siya sa'kin ng pakealam, but to think that he's willing to ignore me makes me want to cry. He loves me. He really does. Now, the one question in my mind was answered a while ago: Kung bakit hindi niya ako dinawit at sinumbong sa pulis? He loves me. Ayaw niyang masira ako kaya mas gugustuhin niyang siya ang masira. Mali nanaman ako. Bakit iniisip niya pa rin ang kapakanan ko? Bakit kailangan niya akong mahalin ng ganoon? I don't deserve that."Can we go home, Bella? I'm s

53He's annoying! What's that? He really wants me to allow Zoren to court me? Wala. Binalayaan ko nga, pero wala pa rin. He didn't come home. He didn't show him to me. I frowned, leaning my head against the window of Verd's car. We are going to Tagaytay right now for Bella's wedding. My cousin and I used the same car, except for Bella, because she was there first with her parents.Hindi ko mapigilang iuntog ang ulo ko ng mahina sa bintana ng kotse ni Verd."He'll definitely be going tomorrow for Bella's wedding. Stop being dramatic, Liyah. Kasalanan mo rin naman yan," said Jero, who was next to me. I looked at him, annoyed."Being dramatic? It's been 2 weeks at mahigit, Jero! And yes, inaamin ko na na kasalanan ko, pero bakit natitiis niya ako?" Parang batang tanong ko.Nagkatinginin si Verd at Xian at sabay pang napa-iling."I really can't imagine myself being in love. It's disgusting," Verd said at nagkunwaring parang naduduwal pa kaya inis na inihagis sa kanya ang yakap-yakap kong

55Kaye was also smiling at tumingkayad pa para hawakan ang buhok ni Maddix. Napaiwas ako ng tingin at napasulyap na lang kay Zoren."Bukas pa ang uwi namin. May inuman daw mamaya saka bonfire, pupunta ka?" Zoren said.I tried to act normal. "Titignan ko. Sige. May gagawin pa ako," mabilis na sambit ko na lang at umalis na kahit na rinig ko ang pagpigil niya sa'kin. Halos matawa ako sa sarili ko sa subrang inis nang maramdaman ko ang pagpatak ng luha ko habang paalis doon. Why I even crying? Ano naman kung mukha siyang masaya habang kausap iyong ex fiance niya? Ano naman kung nagpagupit siya para sa ex fiance niya? Ano naman sayo, Aliyah. Don't acting like a child, Aliyah! In wedding reception, mas lalong nag-asim ang mukha at nararamdaman ko nang makitang nakuha ni Kaye ang bulaklak at si Maddix naman ang nakakuha ng garter. I know it's just a fucking game, but hearing some of the people cheering them on made me want to cry again.I even heard someone na bagay sila at may iba na n

57"Hinila lang ako ni Bella. Wala naman talaga akong planong sumama sa inuman," pagpapaliwanag ko at biglang nabitin dahil tuluyan nang tumigil ang kamay niya."Maddix!" Bulyaw ko, pero masyado ng galit ang tingin niya sa'kin."Naupo sa tabi mo yung lalakeng mukhang paa na 'yun tapos malalaman kong wala kang suot na bra?" Hindi makapaniwalang sambit niya at talagang galit na galit na siya.Nakagat ko ang labi ko at bigla kong narinig sa tenga ko ang boses ni Bella. "Isubo mo," Bella's said that in my mind. Napapikit ako at hindi maiwasang matawa."What's funny?" "Galit ka?" Parang tangang tanong ko sa kanya."Sinong hindi magagalit? Lumabas kang walang suot na bra, ang raming lalake roon, Aliyah! Paano kung napansin nila?" Frustrated na sambit niy sa'kin."Hindi naman nila mahahawakan. Ikaw lang naman ang hahayaan kong hahawak," sambit ko na pinagsisihan ko dahil mas lalo itong nagalit."Kung ganokn ayos lang na makita yan iba? You know what? Let's stop this!" Galit na sambit niya,

59Mom walked out after that. She really hated what happened and how I told the whole family that Maddix is my boyfriend right now. I can't help but be sad. It makes me sad that Mama doesn't want Maddix for me, even though she knew before na gusto ko si Maddix. Tatayo sana ako para sundan si mama, but Tito Peter stop me."Hayaan mo muna ang mama mo, Aliyah. Kumain na kayo," sambit nito kaya napabuntong hininga ako.She saw me get depressed years ago.She saw me calling Maddix while I was sleeping. She saw how much I want to go back to the Philippines; one of the reason ay dahil subra akong nakukunsensya, but she knows there is also another reason why I want to go to the Philippines. I told mom that I love Maddix when I really couldn't take it anymore, when I almost lost myself dahil nakunan ako. Napabayaan at nawala sa'kin yung sana magiging anak namin ni Maddix."Hindi mo naman na sana ginawa iyon," malumanay na sambit Maddix pagkapasok niya sa kwarto ko.Napasimangot ako. "What? M