Seductive Vibrations のすべてのチャプター: チャプター 11 - チャプター 20

Something tells me that this was a one-off and won't happen again. Maybe that is it after he drops me home, he is telling Liam and going? I shouted and accused him of answering my phone, knowing full well I was looking around his place. Why is my mind so set on thinking it is a one-night stand without proof? My mind tells me that I am not good enough, not worthy of a man like him. He said he was not the kind of guy to do it. Maybe, though, he is. The drive is long or seems it because we aren't talking, all the possibilities running around in my head. What do you talk about after sleeping with a guy you barely know anyway? He said he thought I was in the car and he was worried for me, but why? Why was he so bothered about me, someone he doesn't even know? My anxiety is getting worse; the longer the silence lasts, the worse I feel. This is Max, he made me think no man would be interested, and now I believe it. I don't feel worthy, yet something about Jackson makes me feel alive again

My mobile begins ringing. Looking down, I now realise the time it’s 8:15 pm. I have been sitting in here for hours. I should answer, but I want to be alone with my thoughts right now. I have cancelled so many calls from Georgina while I have been sitting here. The number isn’t one I recognise. Picking up the phone, I decide to answer. “Hello?” I answer, trying to sound normal and failing. “Where the hell are you? Georgina said that you should have been home over four hours ago. What's going on?” Wow, Jackson's voice is full of worry. What the hell is he ringing me for, and what has it to do with him where I am and if I am not home when I am meant to be? “I'm at the student bar. I didn't know I'd have to constantly update you on where I am. If this is the sort of guy you are, sorry, but no, I won't do it. Been there before, and I have no plans to go back.” Max flashes in my mind. Hanging up the phone, my hand is shaking. Jackson does not seem like Max at all, yet something about hi

I wrap a towel around me and walk to my bedroom, I jump and nearly scream. Jackson's sat on my bed, holding a coffee. I forgot about him still being here.“What is it with me scaring you? Do I look like a monster or something?” He laughs, touching his face to make sure it feels okay.“Have you looked in the mirror lately? You're far from monstrous. I just forgot you were here, that's all.” Explaining my weird behaviour, I climb onto the bed next to him, realising I am wearing just a towel and holding it closed tightly. Why? I feel my head shake, Jackson isn’t Max.“You look much better; I am guessing you needed that sleep?” His hand rubs my arm, his eyes watching me.“I certainly did. I'm glad I don't have university. What time is it anyway?” I have not even checked.“It's one-thirty; you missed breakfast and dinner.” His smile grows slightly.“Oh, crap, I should get up. I have work today. Did you stay over?” My mind is trying to remember what happened after I fell asleep at the door,

After around fifteen minutes, I feel restless. How far are we going? “Okay, so where are we going? China? Is your business really this far away?” I look at him curiously. “Yes, well, one of them is anyway. I told you my business is open in a few locations. Sometimes it has a few problems, and I have to call in. We'll be arriving in around fifteen minutes.” The car falls silent again, my mind throwing ideas at me. I need to ask. I can't just sit and wait. “So, it isn't selling drugs?” I need to keep an open mind. If I guess right, I need not to freak out. “No, that's a bit over the top, don't you think?” He is laughing, at least that's a good sign; it means he isn't offended by me guessing wrong. “Okay, is it weapons?” Prompting him to reply. “Yes! That's right. I sell guns and grenades for a living that I smuggle back from missions.” He is laughing more. Is he serious? Looking at him, he turns and winks. Okay, he is joking. That is good because, honestly, guns and weapons are ju

“Right, so I have used this place for myself, that was before Caroline, though.” I nod, wondering if he was going to carry on or just leave it at that. Why would he not use it after Caroline? If he likes this, why would he not use this place? Was Caroline into all this?“I didn't use this place because I can't do these things at home. I used it if there was someone who felt safer being here than at my house.” He looks at me, assessing me, making sure he is safe to keep going. I smile slightly, letting him know I am okay and he should carry on.“Before Caroline, I was a different person. I met Caroline. She fell pregnant, and everything changed. I put the whole world behind me, other than business. I stopped being a Dominant and Sadist and became normal. Or what society says is normal when it comes to sex.”Words I know all too well. I feel for him that he gave up a big part of who he is for Caroline. I can tell he is lying. He didn’t become normal, as he says. While this place is fant