Lahat ng Kabanata ng Leo: Kabanata 11 - Kabanata 20

Capri was exhausted from all the back and forth. Between personal and professional aspects she was drained. Her friend Ki would often try to get her out the house. Capri would always take rain-checks, so no one bothered to ask anymore. To everyone’s surprise this one instance, she said yes. She was unaware of where she might be going and the quality of patrons that might be there but that was the least of her worries. Capri was a bit nervous, but also very excited. It had been a long time she got dolled up for a party. She put on a yellow tube top and a pencil skirt that was just inches above the knees and a pair of Versace sandals. This outfit hugged her in the right places and she looked like a model on the cover of a magazine. If that wasn’t enough she put on a Patek Phillippe rose gold watch and a matching bracelet, a Diamond choker with the diamonds earrings to match. She was dripped and blinged to the gawds. No one would be able to tell that she had never gone to such places

Capri did not fully process the magnitude of the information she received from the hospital. She has always wanted nothing more than to be a mom. This now seems like it would be impossible. “I can’t possibly not have a baby of my own!” Capri said to herself…. “This is so not fair!”She’d taken care of so many kids throughout her short time on earth and quite often dreamt of getting married and starting her own family. She was given a specific diagnosis as to what the underlying issue was and the cause of the hemorrhaging. Moreover, there was no real solution.The doctors ran a lot of different test, and still nothing. “I have been on birth control for a long time.” Capri said to her best friend Ki, “but I never though it would be a big deal when I was ready to slow down working to have babies!”She could help but feel broken and not whole . There was a feeling of not being a real woman. Too often everyone would ask her when she would have kids and she would pass the issue off. She

“I never wanted to be this person, I don’t even recognize myself anymore!” Capri said to Ki. “How can people be so mean and totally unaware?”Ki had been going to Capris house almost everyday since her doctor’s appointment. She was fearful that her best friend would fall back into a depressed state like the years prior. It took a long time to get over her heartbreak and realized she was better than her circumstances.Ki…. “Babe you have to understand. We have expectations of others based on how we treat them. Most do not appreciate the effort we put in to be there for them.”“Look at your state and the same ungrateful sister of yours is no where when you need her. To be honest you’re better off, she only talked shit and upset you all the time.”Capri….“I know, but she’s my blood.”Ki…..“Would you tolerate this mistreatment from anyone else?”“Why do you continue to be her punching bag?”Capri….“Ok! I think it’s best if I don’t talk to her for a while, I could honestly do without t

Capri always felt that taking to a therapist meant she was crazy. “These things are meant for the rich people!” Capri muttered to herself as she brushed her teeth. However, she could not help the overwhelming feeling that she had to vent. Quiet honestly she could not continue to walk around with such burdens from the past and present on her heart. “ let’s just look at the options that they have, looking won’t actually hurt. It’s a step in the right direction, maybe.”It took Capri quiet sometime to admit she needed the help and finally opened her laptop. She was amazed at all the options. What was even surprising, she didn’t actually have to go in an office, lay on a couch and be hypnotized. At least in her head that’s what she envisioned going to a therapist would be. “Wait a minute, pills! Who the hell said I needed drugs?! I just want to talk to someone who is not biased and will help me deal with my emotions and why I react the way I do in situations.”“This is a bad idea I do

Capri could not immediately commit to her assignment verbally. In the upcoming days, she wrote down names and circumstances that created trauma and fear from her past. The biggest challenge would be talking to her mom. Growing up she was never present for her daughters. A man seemed to always be more important than her kids. Capri would leave school after her practices to go home and cook. In the mornings she would also get her sisters ready for their day including on the weekends. The random times her mother would do anything with them, involved being in sketch places and she would be drinking beer and smoking cigarettes. Most often than not she wouldn’t even make sure they were fed. The courage to have the conversation……“I haven’t been around lately due to my increase anxiety, I finally decided to see a therapist in regard to my mental state. There are some things from the past that I feel would be important to discuss and get off my chest in order to move forward in a healthy