Birds tweet. Clouds clear out. Cold air rushes in. It's a great morning especially that I'm in the arms of this lovely man beside me. I play with his stubble while watching him breathe peacefully. Watching him sleep is such a drug to me. It gives me serenity, and I'm here for it. He seems so relaxed. Free. Free from whatever it is that bothers him. Free from whatever burdens him. I always want to see him like this. He deserves this.I decide to get up, silently so I don't wake Ryle. I want to wander his house. I'm still amazed. I can't blame myself for that. I'm also an artist.I then get out of the room and make my way downstairs. I immediately go to the living room and find myself in paradise. This is the living room everybody loves. Very easy and pleasing to the eyes. The colors are giving holiday vibes, and I love it.I sit on the couch and then lay my head on the backrest. I sigh deeply as I close my eyes, crossing my arms amid this cold atmosphere. What am I supposed to do now? E

It's been a long day of stress. Yes. A day filled with mental tension. I need a stress ball right now. I just want to squeeze this heavy feeling in me out. I wish this wasn't real, but it unfortunately is. 'Pitiful, Stella, isn't it? You're in an onerous situation,' my subconscious mocks me. Okay, yeah. I won't deny it. My ball game right now is burdensome. The state of my mind right now is somewhat laggard. And there's nobody to blame but me. It's me who's done this to myself. Who's made me feel like this. It's all on me.I don't go to the art studio today. I'm just right here, in the ghostly silent apartment, sitting in the living room darker than pitch-black. I think I'm going to be allergic to sunlight today. To people. To the surroundings. I don't feel like going out. I don't want to see Ryle either. I need to be alone on this day. I need some space and peace. I need my mind to be clearer, which sounds ridiculous because I feel like it will never be clear. Not now.So, yes. I gue

Ryle and I haven't gone to the venue yet. It's still early. I’m being silently anxious here in front of the mirror. Meanwhile, Ryle is in the kitchen. I don't know what he's doing. I guess he's having a little snack or sipping coffee. Anyway, what I’m seeing right now in the mirror is something I’ve never seen for some time. I look like a decent human being, except I’m mentally uneasy. I turn around and I look socially acceptable. My makeup is light, just to hide the paleness of my skin, and my hair is done in a French braid. I was irritated earlier when I was doing my hair because Ryle was being a reporter, asking me about stuff randomly. Favorite color, animal, place, dish, subject, and whatever he seemed to find worth asking. I couldn't focus on styling my hair. Anyway, it kind of made me less nervous.I then put on the silver necklace with a small crescent pendant hung on it and the bracelet Mom bought me two years ago. I haven't used them for ages. They look pretty on me. I wear

Morning rises fast. My alarm clock goes off and I quickly get up. I slap Ryle’s naked back and then shake his body again when he doesn't respond.And then his head turns to me. “What?” he hoarsely asks.“Don’t you have classes today?” I say, looking at his wristwatch placed on my side table“We don't have today. It's a free day. You have?” he says. Oh, yes. I forgot. Reign told me we didn't have either. I wonder what’s the reason behind it. “Can you just get back here beside me? It's literally five-thirty in the morning,” he adds.“No. I guess I’ll have a morning—”I don't have the opportunity to end my sentence when Ryle pulls me back to bed and then wraps an arm around my waist, my back against his bare chest. “Let's stay in bed for another hour. I’ll make breakfast,” he says with a sleepy tone.I insert my fingers between his and simply let time pass. I’ll give Ryle his needed nap. I close my eyes as I relish the warmth Ryle’s skin gives off. While trying to get back to sleep, I re

The night sky may be serene and full of stars, but my night is gloomy. It has been since we left the fast-food chain. My brain seems not to work. My flesh has fluxed. My spirits have descended. I can't think of anything but the face I saw in the fast-food place, and it's Ryle’s favorite place in his childhood, and that idea makes the situation even worse. Why did I have to see that person’s face? Why did his presence have to just jump out of the void? Why would he appear like he’s never done anything? Why would he look at me with shock knowing that I’ve despised him with all of my guts? It just doesn't make sense. He doesn't make any fucking sense at all. He was gone already, and I was happy about it. Now he’ll come back? Reall, in this city? For fuck’s sake. Fate really is terribly neutral. I thought it was in my favor already. O Heavens, why? Just why? And now? I have so many questions in my head, and I don’t see any answers to them any sooner. I hate this day. I’m sorry for Ryle I s