Staying strong, holding it all together and standing up for my son, Leland is all that’s important to me at this point. It’s now been four months since Jack, and I are apart from each other. It was challenging at first, I was heartbroken and felt betrayed by him. But I realized I need to put it all behind me, I have to think about my son and his future. All my life I never imagined what life would be like as a single mom. It’s harder than anyone could even imagine, but when I hold him in my arms, it’s like I have light in my life that showers me with happiness. It’s all worth it in the end. My sister Hannah, brother Tanner and his fiancée Chelsea, have all been beyond helpful. They never left my side ever since I gave birth. Hannah and I moved in with Tanner and Chelsea since I came back to LA after giving birth to Leland. Now I’m sitting on the couch watching TV and feeding Leland. Chelsea really wants me to go out with her to one of the frat house parties. I love going, for some

As I rub my eyes to roll myself out of bed, I see so many decorations around the room. It’s so organized and lovely. So much Christmas garland and lights wrapped around it. Hannah must have done all this last night when I was at the party. Why do I feel like I’m forgetting something, oh crap! Gabriel. I think I promised I’d have dinner with him tonight, I just feel so weird going alone. I would really love it if Hannah and Max came as well. “Morning sunshine.” Hannah’s say, while entering my room and bringing me a cup of coffee. “Morning sis, wow, what a crazy night for us!” I say.“Not us. Correction Carol, you mean yourself and your new friend Gabriel.” She says and laughs at me.“I just feel weird sis. I don’t know, well, I promised I’d meet him tonight for dinner.” I say. “We’ll go! That’s wonderful Carol, so it’s kind of like a date.” She says.“I just don’t want to go alone and then I thought about you and Max.” “Oh no.”“Please.” “Carol, I warned you about Max!” “He likes

I’m furious with him. How could he be so selfish? All this time he spoke with Jack, and he’s been keeping it a secret, ugh. “Waaaaaaa.”I pick up Leland from the crib and hold him in my arms.I pat his back softly and he slowly stops crying. “Shhh my precious. Mommy’s here now.” I say to him. He’s such a good baby, he’s so calm, smart, and most importantly he listens to me. I rock Leland in my arms, and he begins to fall asleep again. RING, RING! I can hear my cell phone ringing from my dresser. I gently place Leland into his crib and walk over to my dresser and pick up my phone. Oh my god. I throw my phone on my bed. It’s Gabriel. What should I say? Shit, maybe he’s calling me for another date. Should I answer? Okay Carol just stay calm you got this. I walk over to my bed and just before I answer, my phone stops ringing. Well, everything happens for a reason right. Maybe it’s good I didn’t answer, maybe he’ll just forget about me. My hands are so sweaty holding my phone. Gos

“Carolina, Carol, answer me! Hello, hello!” I say screaming into the phone.She’s drunk, wasted, is she out of her mind? Why would she go to a club? Carol never goes to clubs. I’m so confused. Where could she be?Tanner, I should call Tanner!I pick up my phone and start scrolling through my contacts for Tanner then call him. The phone begins to ring. “Hello.” Tanner says.“Tanner, hi, it’s me Jack.”“Hi Jack.” “I need to know where Carol is, she called me and she’s completely wasted.” “She is? Maybe she’s on a date.”“I know she’s on a date, I’m not so stupid!” I say screaming at him.“I think she’s some guy.” Tanner says.“Gabriel, I know okay. Now tell me, where is she, Tanner.” “How do you know Gabriel?” “That’s not the stupid question. Oh my god, can you just tell me where she is?” “Alright, alright, I think she’s at The Reserve in downtown LA.” Tanner says.“Oh, thank you, thank you so much Tanner.” I say, then hang up the phone. I get out into my car and start driving s

“GABRIEL!” I say screaming at him. I ran straight up to him ready to beat him up. He ends up falling on the floor and I just feel so much heat driving all through my veins to continue punching him.“Jack, stop it! Seriously get offhim.” Carol says.Her nails are so dangerous, they scratch my skin, and she tries to stop the fight. “I get up and stop punching Gabriel.”She slaps me.“I’m sorry Carol, I just don’t want you to be with him, he's going to hurt you.” I say.“Yea, who are you to even be talking that way? Did you forget all the shit you did?” She says.“Carol, please I’m so sorry.” I say. “You cannot tell me how to live my life or tell me who to date! Just stop it. Leave me alone, you wanted this in the first place. So just be happy.” She says yelling at me.“Carol.”“Just shut up already. Gabriel, are you okay? Let’s just go, I’m so sorry about this jerk.” Carol says. They both walk away and leave me standing there. She really doesn’t care about me anymore. “Shit! Why Ca