Lahat ng Kabanata ng Toxic Paradise : Kabanata 41 - Kabanata 50
70 Kabanata
41| Boating
"I can't believe he didn't reply," Ryan said, popping some pineapple into his mouth. I agreed, shaking my head in disbelief as I let the evening sun toast my face.We had rented a speed boat that was fairly large. Well, Ryan rented it. I knew at this point I was probably deep in a debt hole with what I owed him. But I also assumed Ryan and I would be friends for a long while after all this, and knew I'd pay him back once I found a job— at least partially and in increments.It wasn't a private boat, but it was spacious with cushioned seats all around and 2 seats in the middle. The boat was white, with bright red accents and the word "PARASAILING" printed on the side. On the boat was Ryan, Alec, and I, along with 2 male crew members—a driver and someone to help with parasailing—and 2 other girls who appeared to be around our age, if not slightly older. They were sitting at the bow of the boat, flirting with Alec while Ryan and I sat in the back near the motor.Currently, the boat was an
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42| Siesta Sleeze (pt. 1)
After the day we went parasailing, almost a week went by, and the dramas between Alec and I ceased to exist. But on the other hand, so did any interaction between us.Alec had made himself scarce. He and Ryan were still on good terms, but it seemed he didn't have any interest in joining in on our activities either. We were civil at home in the mornings, but mainly he would pop in and out to take care of Nelson, and then he wouldn't return home till after Ryan and I were in bed.Part of me found it nice, because my anxiety and insecurities decreased greatly. But on the other hand, I missed having him around. Something drew me to Alec, and toxic or not, I missed talking to him.I had just finished curling my hair with my curling wand, setting it down on the counter in my bathroom. I hadn't taken the time to curl my hair in a while, and I felt like I wanted to try and look nice tonight. I completed my makeup before making my way over to my closet.I wasn't sure what to wear. Ryan said we
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43| Siesta Sleeze (pt. 2)
Dan already had our drinks when I returned, and I hopped up on the bar stool beside him. We clinked our drinks together, and I took a sip. This rum and coke tasted different, but I hadn't specified what type of rum I wanted, so I just brushed it off.For the first 10 minutes or so, everything was going well, but that's when I noticed my body start to feel funny. Dan kept trying to get me to drink more and was watching me intently as I was trying to speak to him. Before this drink, I had only had 2 piña colada's and half a rum and coke, along with a bunch of food, so I knew something was wrong when I started feeling impaired— really impaired.I was getting scared, and knew I needed to get away from this man, because I had a strong feeling he put something in my drink when I was in the bathroom. I had been stupid to blindly trust a stranger and leave him alone with my drink. I grabbed my phone and purse off the bar, telling Dan I had to go to the bathroom again. He gave me a weird look,
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44| Siesta Sleeze (pt. 3)
It almost felt like I was flying— the wind made me want to just float; I just wanted to lay back and float. I loosened my grip around Alec's neck, attempting to lay back. I was dizzy and just wanted to lay down. However, I was being held tight by Alec's grip on my butt and his arm around my lower back."Jayna... you need to hold on," Alec panted."Hmmm?" I asked, attempting to lean back another time. Alec grunted as he struggled to keep hold of me, moving over to the side of the board walk out of people's way. "I need to lay down," I admitted."Okay hold on," he huffed. He set me down on a bench and I immediately closed my eyes laying on my side. I was so tired.The bench felt hard beneath me- I rolled to the side to try and find a comfortable spot, but when I couldn't, I tried to stand up off of it. Alec was right there, picking me up again when I couldn't get to my feet, but this time cradling me in a bridal carry. I was confused by all the movement, which shocked my body into fee
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45| Aftermath
“Ouch," I said, pushing myself up into a sitting position. "Fuck... are you okay?" Alec asked, crouching in front of me to look at my eyes. "Yeah; that was weird. My body feels strange today, like weak," I said. "Yeah; the doctors said that could happen. I was trying to tell you... I don't know how much of last night you remember, but you were drugged." He explained. I held onto his hard biceps as he lifted me from the floor, supporting my weight as he helped me to sit back on the couch."WHAT!?" I exclaimed. It made sense considering how terrible I felt. I also didn't think I would drink that much to where I wouldn't remember anything at all; that's never happened to me before. The last thing I remembered, I was having dinner with Ryan, Alec, and his stupid date.My exclamation must have been loud enough to wake Ryan, because he was now sitting up, looking at me with concern. "Oh good! You're up! How are you feeling?" "Like shit. And I really need to pee, but my legs don't seem
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46| Bruises
"Jayna, you can't keep doing this to me," my mom scolded on the other end of my phone.Ryan had just left my room and I was about to fall asleep when I had an incoming call from my mom. I had several missed calls from her already, and aside from texting, we hadn't talked much since I left for Siesta Key. So, despite my intense desire to sleep, I had answered on the third ring."I'm sorry, mom. I didn't know I texted you last night." I was surprised to hear that I sent her anything, because I didn't remember any details from my night. But, sure enough, when I looked through my phone this morning, there was indeed a text to my mom. Essentially, it was a bunch of gibberish along with the word, "drug." I could see how she'd be concerned. Had I been in my right mind, I would never have texted my mom. It just worried her for no reason."Well, you did text me. What did your message mean? Are those boys making you do drugs?" She asked."No mom, of course not. Look, everything's fine, and I d
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47| Midnight Chats
"Oh my god, Ryan, why did you pick this movie?" I said, cuddling further into his side.When Alec had mentioned doing a movie outdoors, I was hoping for a nice comedy. Instead, Ryan had decided to bring home The Conjuring, which was shaping out to be just about the scariest movie I'd ever seen, and it had just barely started."Oh come on, don't be such a wienie," he teased.I scoffed, turning my attention to our surroundings rather than looking at the screen. It was a clear night with a starry sky. The guys had set up the projector so that the movie was playing onto a large white sheet. I was seated on the patio couch beside Ryan while Alec hung out in an arm chair to my left. The blue and orange flames danced wildly across the glass stones as the wind began to pick up around us.I shivered and pulled the blanket up so that it covered my shoulders. It had been warm earlier with the fire, but now that the wind started up, I regretted not bringing a sweatshirt out here with me. Ryan had
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48| Nightmares and Admissions (pt. 1)
Since we had our movie night, things had been very calm around the house. Alec and Ryan had nothing but pleasant interactions, and as for Alec and I... well... we hadn't really had any conversations of substance. He still knew how to push my buttons just as I knew how to push his, but it seemed the toxicity of feeling like I needed to compete with him had vanished.Still, I wished we could have finished the conversation that we started in the kitchen the other night. I had feelings for Alec. I knew that, and I was now willing to admit it to myself. But, I was dying to know if he had feelings for me as well. And... if he did... how would we move forward? How would it impact my relationship with Ryan?I flopped down onto my bed, pulling my thick duvet up over my shoulders. Ryan and I took it easy today, heading to the beach to tan and play in the waves. Alec didn't join us. He said he had to get some work done, and he had been shut in his room with Nelson all day. Either way... it had
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49| Nightmares and Admissions (pt. 2)
"Do you want to know the reason I left my family?" Alec asked, his voice a whisper in the darkness. "You're willing to tell me?" I questioned. This was definitely something I'd been dying to know, but I didn't think Alec would ever open up about it. Even Ryan wasn't sure why Alec left."I know how you feel about abandonment, and I don't want you to think I just abandoned my family without good cause," he explained."If you want to share, I'm definitely here to listen," I encouraged.He took a breath. "Okay. Well, I'm not sure what you all know about my family, but we're pretty well off. My dad is a CEO and a total hard ass. But, he was always way harder on me than he was on Ryan. Nothing I did would ever please him; in fact, he would go out of his way to degrade me. I didn't get it at first. I would try so hard to make him proud, and he just turned his back on me every chance he got. I'm not sure Ryan ever even noticed."I squeezed Alec's hand in mine, trying to provide him with a li
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50| Caught (pt. 1)
Waking up the next morning wasn't nearly as peaceful as my slumber had been. "What the fuck is this!?" An angry voice drifted to me, pulling me violently from my sleep. It only took me a second to recognize the voice belonged to Ryan, and only another second to realize what he was referring to. Sunlight was streaming into my room and illuminating the fact that Alec was still in my bed... shirtless... with an arm around me.Oh shit...I sat up immediately, pushing myself away from Alec. "Ryan! It's uh... I swear it's not what it looks like..." I lamely tried to explain. "I think it's exactly what it looks like," he sneered before turning and leaving the room, slamming the door behind him. I had never heard him sound so angry… and hurt. Not even during the times when I overheard him arguing with Alec."Oh god..." I groaned, placing my head in my hands. I fucked up. Alec and I hadn't slept together, but it still looked really bad. I could only imagine what Ryan was thinking of me now
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