I had met my breaking point and I was happy my husband was not there to see it. I could barely get out of bed. I didn’t want to eat. I didn’t want to do anything besides lay in bed or stare out from the window seat. The phone rang, pulling me from my thoughts. I stared at it, seeing my father’s caller ID. I didn’t want to talk to anyone but I didn’t want him to worry about me. “Hi Dad.” “Hi baby, how are you princess?” I was drowning. I was in my head and my head was hell. “I am good Dad.” 

I had never in a million years seen such a turn of events. I turned to stare at Kein and he was just basking in the sun, his shades on, lazily sitting on the chair with no care at all.His chest and neck tattoos were visible. He looked like himself. He looked like Kein the exterminator and as I stared at him I realized he was probably originally middle eastern. But the man was gorgeous.  I looked away, sighing. I watched everyone else socialize. They were laughing, happy, and we were just sitting there. Laughter poured from every table and the kids played not far from where we were. It was a happy day yet was I happy?I turned to look at Kein again. He was busy with his phone, seeming not to be having a bad time at all. But weirdly I also wasn’t. It was nice being out of the house. So I sat and stop

Waking up, I thought it was a dream until I felt his warm breath tickle my breast.I was still shocked, wanting to capture the moment, to somehow pause it and never move from it. I wanted to hold on for as long as I could but it was getting too hot and I needed to shower. The sun was so high I was sure it was midday. And I hadn’t expected him to sleep through me pulling from the bed but he didn’t wake up even as I pulled out the t-shirt I wore nor pry his hands from me. Seeing how much of a heavy sleeper he was truly shocked me. When I was free, I pulled the blankets to bury him then went to take my shower.I pulled my hair in a ponytail, wearing shorts, and a t-shirt. I tidied up the room and went downstairs to get breakfast going even though it was past lunch.For some reason my thoughts kept going back upstairs. Knowing his appetite, I made food that would have fed more than ten people. Slowly, I took all the food upstairs, peaking my head in, him still in bed.He would sure be

My husband looked like a very troubled man. The more I stared, the more I thought maybe it was more than the pain. Maybe his paleness and distance was more than the pain. Maybe he had a large turmoil going inside him.How did I help?I had never been in such a situation before. He didn’t seem like the type that liked being helped a lot.He ate his food slowly for once, watching the match. He got bored after some time and changed to another sport’s channel where a soccer match was playing.I drank my wine, hiding behind it while my eyes ogled at him.What were the meaning of his tattoos?Some were in Arabic and I suddenly found myself wanting to learn the language.

The heavy hand holding me down wasn’t there when I woke up.The warm strong body wasn’t there when my eyes opened and I could only chase the scent from his pillow. To make it worse the rain was pouring outside. I lay there for a second listening to sounds but none came besides the harsh rain. I pulled back the blankets and slid out. Slowly I made my way to the bathroom, stark naked. No one was there. I peed and brushed my teeth.The shower door was still foggy so Kein had probably left.Had he left for another job?From the way he fucked me yesterday, I was sure he was not in a condition to go assassin someone’s ass. I went back to the room, sliding back in bed and lay on his side. It was barely warm and his scent clung by pure stubbornness. It showed he rarely slept in his bed. I tucked myself then just lay there.The images from my dream drifted in one after another.Finally I was forced to think and process what I had seen. I had seen so much. I had seen my father shoot his women r