Estel's secret torment following the abortion lasted for months, although no one except her knew about it. Some of her coworkers and friends were happy with the transformation, especially Henrick Larsen. Still, most people just noticed a little difference from the previous Estel. The new Estel gave him a lot of pleasure since she was tougher, less idealistic, and willing to take on tasks that before would have upset her. If he had known that she had adopted her current stance because she now cared less about her external circumstances, he could have had cause for concern. On the inside, her suffering was all-consuming. The feelings of remorse and doubt began soon after she got home from the hospital. She was weaker than she had anticipated after the abortion. Still, she knew that this was due more to emotional shock than to any actual physical weakness. She had taken off work for a whole week and spent much of it sitting in Central Park, looking sightlessly at the world around her. Th

She spent the entire afternoon fretting over how she would reconnect with Michael and needed help to get much work done. It had to be done so gently that he didn't guess she had managed things. She might be able to innocently wait for him in the corridor outside of Henrick's office. The problem, however, was that she had yet to learn when he would go. She also dared only keep prancing the hall regularly all afternoon once the proper opportunity came. She could miss him. Then her thoughts turned to a novel she'd wanted to show Henrick. She might reach out to Henrick's assistant, Jennie, and have her give her a call when it appears that the meeting between Henrick and Michael has concluded. If she acted as though it were an emergency, she could reach him before he departed. When Henrick had company, they would always say their goodbyes awkwardly while he waited in the doorway. She had reached for the phone to dial Jennie when Henrick stormed into her office, bare teeth gnashing togethe

Estel was unwilling to accept Michael's generosity at face value, so she sought an explanation. She asked, "On a whim, how many people live in your family?" "Just Dad, Mom, and me," Mandy clarified. "Dad takes care of the grounds and the cars." I help with Mom's cooking and cleaning when I'm home from school. Michael helped me get a scholarship and insisted my parents save the money we had built up in our old home's equity for their old age. We don't have to pay for food or lodging; our parents are employed. Estel blinked, scowling at her inability to fault Michael's conduct. She consoled herself by thinking he was probably a slave driver. Mandy apparently wasn't around enough to see it. She was obviously so infatuated with Michael that she would excuse him anything. Estel's interest in the landscape was renewed as they descended into the roaring Fork River. She caught glimpses of the clear water through the trees before it was fully revealed in all its beauty. She exclaimed to h

Estel gave a knowing glance and a tiny smile as she acknowledged the reality of that assertion. "No doubt," she murmured wryly. With an eyebrow raised, she said, "He isn't exactly happy about your change of subject matter." She asked, "What is the subject matter?" she inquired suspiciously. Michael's face went expressionless, but he looked at her intently as he said, "It's a psychological study of a woman," he stated quietly. "A woman who buries her potential out of misguided notions of what's really important in life." When Michael said, "You're going to do a study," Estel halted the frantic pacing she'd begun and gazed at him in utter disbelief. An in-depth analysis of a woman's psyche?" she said in disbelief, not realizing the insult in her tone. The hardness and determination in Michael's face brought back memories for Estel of the night he brought her home when he had been so different from the two other times she had seen him. She had almost forgotten how hard he could be and

She looked at Michael's dad and realized she felt the same way about him for different reasons. The man had the faraway, concerned countenance that indicated a typical absentminded professor. In fact, he made her think about... Estel almost tossed the image on the desk as her mind erupted. Her chest was heaving, and her eyes were wide with shock. She couldn't help but think about Peter when she saw Michael's dad. Peter is exposed to the egocentric, narrow-minded person he really is without her affection. Alarmed and surprised by the thoughts that had seized control of her, Estel wrapped her arms about herself to ward off the unexpected chill. She had no reason to feel that way about Peter. She appeared to be wondering urgently. Hadn't he been the most excellent thing that had happened to her? Didn't she spend her whole life admiring and loving this great, compassionate genius? Distracted, she left her desk and began to walk about the room. She couldn't get the sentence given her wh