All Chapters of Dude I Kissed Your Mom!: Chapter 11 - Chapter 20

I was looking forward to seeing Amanda this evening for my daily detention, or as I like to call it, our date. As students scurried towards the front doors in lightning speed, you'd think they were being chased by some armed murderer, I prepared myself for our date- I mean, detention. I'm not exaggerating when I say I sprayed on a new coat of body spray for this ocassion , even took my time to glance at a mirror to assess my appearance , maybe appreciate my handsomeness. God , I was such a good looking guy! How would I know this? Well, I'm a level one narcissist so having an inflated ego is one of my chronic illnesses. That and being a self-entitled ass hole. Just as expected , the beautiful Amanda had braced the seat behind her desk, stacks of books piled in front of her dwarfed by them, as she industriously dragged her red pen over the pages ,seemingly marking them. My presence remained unacknowledged as she buried her nose in the endless piles of books . I stood, rooted to the sp

My third attempt of throwing a pebble from across my bedroom balcony towards Charli's bedroom window proved futile as I watched it fail to knock the window pane. "This is why I always get picked last in gym class," I grumbed, my energy depleting by the second from my lack of throwing skills. I do throw like a girl. The reason why I was chucking pebbles at Charli's bedroom window was so that I could get her attention for us to talk about the whole fake dating thing. I made a vow not to go to school tomorrow not unless I convince Charli to be my fake girlfriend. I can't stand the idea of running into Leslie again and giving her the satisfaction of annoying the living daylights out of me. I was desperate and my solution lied inside Charli. I prayed for the best while prophesying the worst. Another pebble is tossed and as expected, falls a few inches away from her balcony. Maybe I should call her....but I deleted her number a long time ago . So throwing pebbles it is. "Okay,"I try on

"Here, hold this,"I was pushed into doing something I never thought I'd be doing ever since my existence was brought to Earth when my mother pushed me out of her vagina. A rose in hand, its petals birthed with the most attractive shade of red , redder than a blushing tomato, I stretched it over for Charli Dawson to behold. A look of disgust penetrated her brooding aura as she regarded me with a disdainful eye, deftly plucking it from my fingers' grasp with tentative fingers. Never in my seventeen years of life have I ever thought that I'd be buying anyone flowers. Especially Charlotte Dawson!"I suppose this should flatter me into believing that you could be a hopeless romantic when pushed to the wall," She sneered and I returned with an eye roll at her shallow , illogical reasoning. I'd made a brief stop at the local gas station to purchase a rose, for Charli. I wouldn't waste a penny on her even if it kills me but I had to make our fake relationship look legit. Besides, it's just f

She's seated alone during lunch break. Tray half filled with some salad, I guess it's chicken salad , fiddling with the bottletop of her water bottle, flipping through a novel, Charli Dawson remained unnoticed. Except for a few rude students who would occasionally bump against her as an 'accident' before sniggering as they sauntered away, leaving her with a blistering glare thrown at them. Tyson is talking too loudly I can't even think straight, my gaze snatched by this goth freak as she shrunk herself away from the venomous judgement of highschool students. It's not like it's unusual for her to eat alone, Charli was a lone wolf, never wanted to fit in, never cared about fitting in so she kept to herself. Some took this personally, people like me for example. Her don't care attitude made students gnash their teeth with rage, it's like yelling at someone and instead of them yelling back they remain all calm and laid back. That's certainly going to tick people off. Seriously, I can't

"There are some rules I want to go through with you before we commence this brutal journey of me mentoring you into the path of being a respectful student," The sharp clicking sound of her high heels stabbing the marbled floor as she paced authoritatively in front of me infiltrated the quietened room . My back reconnected with the wooden backrest of my seat , leaning back to alleviate the pressure on my spine from being hunched over. Eyes riddled with fatigue and boredom, I gave her a blank look as she continuously paced from left to right, her slender delicate fingers twisting the cap on the whiteboard marker as she did. " ....and I expect you to follow these rules to the letter, failure to do so will lead to dire consequences, " She stopped pacing, eyes on me with a stern expression. " Do I make myself clear?" Not to say that I wasn't paying attention - I have never seen those pants on her before, they really accentuate her hourglass figure- Amanda loudly cleared her throat, eff