All Chapters of Dude I Kissed Your Mom!: Chapter 21 - Chapter 30
32 Chapters
Chapter Twenty One.
After looking up the meaning of the word Obtuse, my mind felt subjected to some kind of humiliation ritual. I knew Amanda saw me as this inept student but to birth me with such a degrading adjective? That seemed a bit extreme. I mean, it's really not my fault that I have trouble retaining vital educational information, or any information that is deemed as 'important'. Obtuse? Am I really obtuse? Judging me solely on my academic performance is a shallow way to go Amanda. I'm pretty sure I could hold a perfectly decent and mentally stimulating conversation with her, over a cup of coffee - well, maybe not coffee per say since coffee isn't exactly my type of go to drink. It tastes weird. Bitter and disgusting. I don't understand why anyone would want to subject their taste buds to the inconceivable taste of coffee. It is an acquired taste anyway. My dad once told my mom that I was an acquired taste. At the moment I didn't know what he meant by that. I actually received it as a complime
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Chapter Twenty two.
She was a good kisser. Emerald Smith, making out with Sasha Pierson, the perfect cinematography to any lesbian porn video ever shot. The crowd that swelled up the boundary around these two begun to cheer triumphantly as the make out session ensued. Sasha's hands slowly lifted the hem of Emerald's shirt , exposing the butterfly tattoo carved on her lower back. Zac and I share cunning winks as he saluted me with his tumbler cup filled with booze. This was the perfect way to end the week. By throwing an unruly party down at Tyson's house on a Friday night. Sure I'm not really supposed to be here under the grounds of me being grounded but did you expect me to not break that frivolous rule? I needed to blow off some steam and everything about this rave seemed to provide the antidote for my aching head. " Take your tops off!" Ian Monroe yells amidst the boisterous chattering and booming music. " And bras!" His friend , Michael Reeds , chimed with just as much zeal as Ian. Just when thi
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Chapter Twenty- Three.
The picture spread like fucking wildfire devouring a sea of dry hay. By the time I got back home and climbed up my bedroom window, the Instagram picture had already accumulated over 50k likes! The comments were massively negative and degrading with the viral hashtags of #CharliCharityCase and #MaxDoin'CharityWork. I don't bother to take my shoes off as I drop onto my bed , my back fusing with the springy mattress underneath me, phone held above my face as I thumbed up my phone screen, unable to look away from the Instagram post.Another like, and another, and another....over 20 more likes and it just kept going! Next week was probably going to be one for the history books. Maybe I should plot my demise before Monday comes, maybe I should drink a glass of toilet water in hopes that it would get me ill, that way I get to miss school. But for how long can I fake being sick? I scroll back to the image, the undebatable picture of Charli kissing me. The way her hands had grasped against my
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Chapter Twenty Four
"Son of a biscuit!" Crouched down with a socket wrench tightly gripped in her hand, Amanda cursed angrily as she surveyed her front left tire that seemed to be flat. Call me a misogynist but I have never seen a woman change a tire before. They don't really have the manpower to do that sorta thing so watching from afar as Amanda struggled to loosen some lug nuts on her flattened tire, I couldn't hide my amused smirk at the scene. God,she looked so helpless right now but then again , aren't all women? " Fuck!" Another curse disguised as a cry for help , dropping the socket wrench on the ground as it clanked loudly at the impact of the hard cemented ground. Her hair formed a translucent veil over her face , obscuring her priceless facial expression, taking away the joy of me laughing at her angered face. She's wearing red heels and a nice professional dark blue short sleeved pencil dress that was riding up her thighs enticingly as she crouched down, exposing a fraction of that smooth f
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Chapter Twenty Five.
" God, you look like you got hit by a make up truck!" Roxie doesn't hesitate to throw a sharp punch on my shoulder at the insensitive comment aimed at her lack of make up applying skills. Honestly, even a clown make up was far more impressive that whatever she had on her face, in the name of make up. " And you look like you buy your clothes at the school's lost and found section," Her pathetically drawn eyebrows shoot up, seemingly impressed by her below average insult at my clothing option of a sky blue button down shirt that was well tucked in inside my brown khakis, black loafers snugged under my feet, no socks because my pigs were sweating like mushrooms. " Hey!" Mom shouts from above the stairs, putting on her golden loop earrings on her left earlobe, gingerly descending down the flight of stairs. " no fighting tonight. Or else I'll be forced to ground both your asses till you graduate." Once she reaches the last staircase, she takes one look at both of us, a halfhearted smil
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Chapter Twenty Six.
Chapter may contain explicit scenes.You have been warned. " You're very late, again! " She was standing behind her desk, arms crossed under her plump breasts, stilletoed foot tapping impatiently on the linoleum floors, regarding me with her infamous glares. " I'm sorry, traffic was crazy this morning," Having made my way over to my desk, I slumped down on it, shrugging my backpack off as it fell to the ground in a blunt thud. " I'm not buying that excuse again, Young man," I wince at the sound of the title Young man. " That's what you said yesterday when you showed up in here forty-five minutes late." " I'm sorry, I truly am," I breathe a sigh of frustration, raking my hand through my dishevelled hair. I hadn't slept well last night, my alarm was messed up and everything was a bit overwhelming with the end of semester exams crawling in the corner. I manifested another D minus grade, seeing as I hadn't glanced at my books in the name of studying . That would further earn me a po
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Chapter Twenty Seven.
" Vagina or Dick?" That was today's topic of heated discussion amongst our friend group. You'd think we'd have better things to discuss, you know, stuff like Global warming and its causes or how we could stop it, or Increased inflation rate and how it's affected our economy,or high costs of living or how Joe Biden is slowly ruining America but after an hour of weed smoking, our brains fried, we chose to discuss the reproductive systems; because why not? Which is the better one? Why is it better than the other one and all that nonsense. The back building was like our little oasis, cloistering us from the good kids. We were the school's degenerate gang and mixing the good fruits with the rotten ones guaranteed a possible epidemic of decaying students. So we separated ourselves from the good harvest, sprawled out in the grass behind the back building, Tyson rolled up a joint and passed it around while Emerald chugged down the alcohol she snuck to school this morning. After ten puffs
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Chapter Twenty Eight.
" What the actual fuck!" A guttural growl she made at the catastrophe that befell her shirt, noticing the water had spilled all the way down to her torso, missing her pelvis by a fraction but that wasn't better. Her hands raised to her sides, Amanda gazed back down at the mess that embraced her attire. Right there and then, the shrill cry of the school bell pierced through the already chaotic atmosphere as students rushed to their classes, except for me and her , leaving us to assess the damage of the situation. That's when I realized the eroticism of this mess. Her shirt was see-through. Her shirt was fucking see-through! You know what that means? I got a detailed sight of what hid behind that white crisp button down shirt of hers that was soaking wet and to add spice into the already arousing sight, the fabric of wetness appeared to be clinging onto her like a second skin. I couldn't peel my gaze away from her. I was momentarily hypnotized by the evident black bra that was callin
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Chapter Twenty Nine.
When you're high, everything around you seems...magical!The walls are breathing, boasting with purple and pink glittery showers on their surface and the ground feels like marshmallow, if that makes any sense. Of course, it doesn't , taking it in retrospect seeing as I am stoned right now and my visual imagery in this current state might not be any way sensible. But here I am, recovering from that highly coveted state by any addict undergoing drug withdrawals, as I gulp down as much water to get rid of this cotton-y feeling inside my mouth. Two tall glasses of water down.Everything is still, the sound of the quiet kitchen providing the perfect ambience to any horror movie. I hate that I'm standing right here, alone, in the dark and the paranoid soul inside my body is begging for me to just bolt back upstairs and hide under my bulky beddings because it swears it heard something rustling outside the kitchen window. I don't do that , though. I'm not really scared of the darkness. Nob
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Chapter Thirty.
I was thinking of ways to kill myself...or at least ways to get myself sick so that I won't have to go to school today. Google wasn't offering much and YouTube had given me a few ideas like licking door knobs and maybe the toilet seat because germs seem to take solace in such places, with fruitful results . One thing for certain is that there's literally no way I was going to bend down to lick any toilet seat. I'm not that desperate.Actually, I kind of was.The impending anxiety attack I was about to suffer made me feel all nauseous , stomach churning violently in dire need of some bathroom relief in the form of explosive diarrhea. My heart rate increasing exponentially aggravating the already worsening stomach ache. And I tossed and turned in bed like a chicken rotisserie , occasionally stealing fearful glances at my alarm clock as it draws nearer and nearer to the time of my waking. I really dreaded my morning alarms, dodged them three times before reluctantly heeding to its dema
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