Jules' POVHe arrived at 4:17 in the morning on a Wednesday in April.It was raining, which again felt appropriate. I had been awake since midnight — not in pain, or not only in pain, but in the grip of a feeling I couldn't name, something between anticipation and a kind of grief I didn't understand. Like I was at the edge of something enormous and could feel the air pressure changing.Madeline drove me. She had made me promise weeks ago that I would knock on her door no matter the hour, and I had knocked at 12:30 AM and she had been awake, already in her coat, like she'd been waiting."You timed this terribly," she said, starting the car."Noted.""I have a parent-teacher conference at eight AM.""Madeline.""I'm coming, I'm coming. Breathe."Labor is the kind of thing no one can actually describe to you. You can read about it, you can watch videos, you can have a doula explain every stage with a calm that will seem completely detached from reality when you're actually in it — and no
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