บททั้งหมดของ Unapologetically Me: บทที่ 91 - บทที่ 100

When they call my stage name, I take a deep breath and plaster my seductive smile on my face and walk out onto the stage. My song ques up and all I can see is the men by the stage and the spotlights.At first I kind of freeze. Kind of. I'm moving, but my brain doesn't fully get into it until I concentrate on just the music. After I do that, then I begin to loosen up and just do what I rehearsed. It's different with an audience, but seeing their hungry looks and then feeling them tuck money into my thong while I crawl around, I know that I'm doing okay.It's nerve wracking but as soon as it's over and I'm in the back, the Kimmy and Hayley are cheering and jumping around for me and our den mother is walking over to me with a robe and a glass of water.Simon, the guy who goes up and gets our clothes and the rest of our tips from stage comes back after a few minutes and hands me my box of tips and my leather bra. My heart is still beating a million miles a min

It was a long three weeks of waiting for James to come home but as soon as I saw him at the airport, my heart stuttered and my eyes teared up.I ran to him and felt like those silly romance movies, but I couldn't care less about what anyone thought of our public display of affection.He caught me and held me tightly to his body and everything felt so right again. I had a rough three weeks starting with a man groping me and sticking his hands down my panties and touching me before Paulo was able to get him and throw him out.I cried so hard that night, feeling completely dirty and disgusting. I felt like I cheated on James somehow, even though I knew it wasn't my fault. But I pushed past it because the money I was making from dancing now was a f*ck ton more than I was making just serving drinks.I was asked if I could dance more days out of the week, but since I knew James was coming home for Christmas, I opted out and told Kade I would start after

The days dragged slowly after Spring Break. I focused on myself and my body and getting my routines right. I focused on getting my mom to all of her appointments and getting groceries and doing laundry and cooking, even though I sucked at it.Anything and everything to keep myself busy.May rolled around and I was on my way to the club gym when my mom stopped me. She had been acting kind of strange since I came back from Spring Break, wandering the house aimlessly and muttering to herself. She had lost weight, but remained bloated in her stomach and legs. She showered when I'd force her in and most of the time she just seemed out of it. I wondered a lot of her medications had something to do with it, but I never really put too much thought into it.Now, staring at her face, I saw some light in her eyes that had been missing for a while. Her body fingers dug into my arm as she clung to me and I noticed that the wrinkles in her face were more prono

"Kelly." She whispered as she closed the door. I shook my head and covered my face with my hands. I didn't want her here. I didn't want anyone. I just wanted to lay down and be forgotten. That's all I wanted.She slid down the door next to me, with only inches away from me and looked at me with James' eyes. "You don't have to talk. We can just sit here." She said quietly.I nodded and laid closed my eyes again. I felt her hand on my hip, moving it soothingly up and down my leg, comforting me the only way she could.After a few minutes, I couldn't stand it anymore. "You don't have to be here.""I know I don't." "I-I shouldn't have even called him.""Why not?"I stared at the back of the couch, noticing trash underneath that I hadn't seen before. "You know why."She was silent for a while and then she sighed. "He never told us. We...we didn't know he broke up with you until today.""He didn't."

Christmas passed by without a hitch. I spent it in Hawaii. It was still fairly warm and so I spent that holiday much the same as the first one.I did have to avoid all of the holiday sh*t going on everywhere, but being somewhere that wasn't home made it easier to face by myself. I ate to my heart's content and swam and took tours up to the volcano. I enjoyed it there almost too much. It made me think of relocating to somewhere like here, where every day felt like a vacation, but at the same time, I didn't want to hide away anymore.Not only that, but I got things going for that house I found. I talked to the realtor and was able to start the paperwork on my new house. It was an ongoing process, but seeing as I had good credit and money to put down on it, it was going easier than I thought.So I took the time to enjoy myself in Hawaii, visiting different islands and doing every single touristy thing I could do. I hiked to some waterfalls and kayak