บททั้งหมดของ Unapologetically Me: บทที่ 71 - บทที่ 80

I was the worst daughter ever. I hated myself and I hated her and that's why I was the worst.I stared at her still form on the bed and selfishly thought about myself and my plans and how if she hadn't shown up, I would be in Massachusetts right now with James and we would be looking at the apartment that we were going to start leasing.It was going to be a fresh start and I was going to be free. And now I was here, brushing my mom's yellowing skin with a wet rag and giving her water when she got thirsty and waiting on her hand and foot because it was the least I could do. I had all of these raging emotions that made no sense, but also made perfect sense in my head. I hated my mother. I hated that I was here. I hated that James didn't go to Massachusetts and that he was in here with me, instead of out with his friends. I hated that with everything she put me through, I couldn't just stand up and leave her to die her slow, miserable death.I felt

"Where did you go?""Wherever I wanted.""Mom, please. Just...where did you go?""You and your father are both the same. Always try to keep tabs on what I do, who I'm with, and what I drink. Just leave me alone!"I grit my teeth and rolled my eyes. She was shaking and vomiting, getting worse because she was in withdrawal from all of the drugs she had been doing while she was away. The hospital staff referred us to a rehabilitation place for her that would help nurse her since she was unable to do sh*t for herself right now.The only issue was that it cost a lot of money. The money we no longer had because she had spent over five hundred grand while she was away. Her bank account was wiped clean and when I searched the purse at home that she had brought with her, she only had forty-two dollars and a bunch of needles and baggies of drugs in there."I just want to know where you spent all of the money."She cackled and nodd

I was the worst daughter ever. I hated myself and I hated her and that's why I was the worst.I stared at her still form on the bed and selfishly thought about myself and my plans and how if she hadn't shown up, I would be in Massachusetts right now with James and we would be looking at the apartment that we were going to start leasing.It was going to be a fresh start and I was going to be free. And now I was here, brushing my mom's yellowing skin with a wet rag and giving her water when she got thirsty and waiting on her hand and foot because it was the least I could do. I had all of these raging emotions that made no sense, but also made perfect sense in my head. I hated my mother. I hated that I was here. I hated that James didn't go to Massachusetts and that he was in here with me, instead of out with his friends. I hated that with everything she put me through, I couldn't just stand up and leave her to die her slow, miserable death.I felt guilty and angry and sad and everythin

My eyes teared up and my stomach churned as we sat in the car at the airport. My mom was at home and his mom insisted on driving us, but I wish we had come alone. I didn't want to look like a giant baby after he left in front of her. James was getting his stuff out of the back and I couldn't stop my hands from shaking. Was it possible to get withdrawals from people? When all of his stuff was on the sidewalk ready, he opened the back seat door and looked down at me with red eyes. His bottom lip trembled slightly and he took a deep breath. "I love you." He whispered to me. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed his cheek quickly. "I love you too." He wiped under my cheeks and took a shaky breath. "I'll call you when I get in. Keep your phone on you. And don't cry. I'll be back. I promise." I nodded slowly and sat back. His mom was on the verge of tears too and I realized belatedly that she was letting go of her first child. He was the first one to leave and be far away and

I hang up the phone and look down at the screen. I lean against the stool I brought to the counter from the back office and close my eyes. All I can hear is the girl yelling his name. I wonder if it's Sarah.A little while later, Kimmy and Hayley show up and my mood brightens a little. Hayley sits on the counter and Kimmy leans against her and eyes me with her flirty eyes."So, how's tonight been treating you?""Same as usual. You?""We got to dance for that rapper from California. The one with the gold teeth."I grin at her and shake my head. "And how was that?""Kimmy had him sign her ass for her. I took a picture. Do you want to see?"Before I could answer, she pulls up her phone and shows me a picture of Kimmy bent of the guy's knee with a marker in hand and a giant grin on his face. Kimmy is looking at the camera with her mouth open in a laugh.I smiled down at the picture and chew on my bottom lip. "That's